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The expectation is there because women put out quicker these days. Just the cold hard fact of life that I don't think a lot of you octogenarians have accepted yet.
Why is 3 dates your threshold? Isn't that pretty arbitrary? Why not go on a non-dinner date with her, something fun, so she can get to know you better, see a different side of you.
Do you not know how to court a woman? Or were you under the illusion that after 3 free dinners, she owed you the most intimate act known to man (and woman)?
Yes, it seems that so many men honestly believe they are entitled to sex by the third date. And the notion of courting a woman, even a woman they claim to be very interested in, is foreign to them.
Last edited by newdixiegirl; 03-26-2014 at 10:53 AM..
I'd say it takes two to tango! If this expectation of sex by some men is working, then some women are participating. Not sure which came first. Doesn't really matter. Its a good thing, though, if someone figures out really early on that he/she isn't going to be a good match.
Oh, yeah, you're definitely right. Men can't do this on their own; many women accept this expectation.
It's imbedded in the male brain by the time you are 5 yo. I believe Moses started it
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound
I think the desire was there since Moses, the expectation is a newer thing.....
Yeah, I'm not talking about sexual desire, LS. A woman can feel great sexual desire for a man she has not had sex with by the third date, believe it or not.
I'm talking about the social expectation that a woman SHOULD "put out" by the 2nd, 3rd, 4th (or whatever) date. Only a couple of generations ago, a woman was judged very harshly, and perhaps even socially ostracized, for choosing to have sex outside of marriage.
Nowadays, a woman is judged very harshly, and perhaps romantically ostracized (i.e. dumped), because she chooses, for whatever reason, NOT to become sexually intimate with a man before she feels the time is right.
And as shocking as it may be, someone might not feel that the 3rd date IS the right time, no matter how overwhelmingly attracted she/he feels to the other person.
I don't get what's with these "rules" I see so much around here. In real life I've never heard guys say something like "3 dates and no sex she's out." Just can't recall a single time I've heard that. I'm not saying it hasn't happend, but I just can't recall it.
There seems to be all kinds of "rules" nowadays... I wonder if the PUA nonsense is part of the reason??
Silly me, I always thought you just had some dates, hung out together, had a good time and if things progressed that way then you had sex.....
That's because you're a gentleman, Chow.
But maybe I just think that because you and I are, as the other recent poster suggested, octogenarians.
News to me; how about you?
Last edited by newdixiegirl; 03-26-2014 at 11:13 AM..
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound
I don't get what's with these "rules" I see so much around here. In real life I've never heard guys say something like "3 dates and no sex she's out." Just can't recall a single time I've heard that. I'm not saying it hasn't happend, but I just can't recall it.
There seems to be all kinds of "rules" nowadays... I wonder if the PUA nonsense is part of the reason??
Silly me, I always thought you just had some dates, hung out together, had a good time and if things progressed that way then you had sex.....
Repped. You're exactly right. If two level headed non game playing people date, this is the way it goes. If they're both attracted to each other they'll have sex, probably sooner than later (because they're attracted to each other and both like and want sex), if not, they'll stop going on dates. It isn't about an arbitrary number, it's about if they're into each other as people and attracted to each other.
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Or were you under the illusion that after 3 free dinners, she owed you the most intimate act known to man (and woman)?
