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So if I go to a job for multiple summers, work, AND save the money, it HAS to go towards college expenses? I guess I've always followed the " you earned the money, youdecide how to spend it" ideology. I think if I worked for the money and defeated the urges to not spend it ASAP, then my reward should be getting to do what I want with it, which, in this case, is going to see someone I care about
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626
IMHO, that is a very childish attitude. Of course, not every dime of the money that a college student earns needs to go for tuition & books as everyone needs some fun and relaxation activities.
But, seriously, "you earned the money, you decide howto spend it" ideology" ? Are you 12 years old? Sheesh!
Let us say, starting today Mom & Dad decide to follow your ideology. Some/many parents do stop paying their adult children's expenses once they graduate from high school or turn 18. Read all the threads from people who were kicked out of the house penniless on the day that they turned 18. There are also multiple threads from posters who paid 100% of their college expenses because their parents refused to even fill out FAFSA forms to allow them to get student loans.
Let us say, starting today Mom & Dad decide to follow your ideology. Dad and Mom work very hard to earn their moneyand they now decide that they will spent it ALL on themselves and save the money that they are now paying for your college for their retirement. After all, you are an adult. Hmmm, if you really feel that it is great philosophy on money than you would be totally happy and understanding if they make that decision. Think about that, when you are at work today earning money "to do what I want with". Really, think about it.
In fact, if you feel that strongly about it, perhaps just call them up today and suggest that they start to follow your "money ideology". "Mom and Dad, I really appreciate all that you have done for me these past 19 years, but I am now an adult and I want to be on my own. I will start to pay for all of my college and living expenses starting today. You work very hard to earn your money and it is only fairthat you get to spend it on yourselves."
Are you going to make that call to your parents? If not, are you starting to see my point?
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Originally Posted by Bronsolini
I don't think that that's apples to apples because you're comparing a teenager, childless teenager, and the money he earns at part time jobs to two adults with careers who decided they wanted a kid and wanted to sacrifice for that kid
Yes, I know that my response was pretty strong but I was only trying to get you to understand my point. Which apparently you did not get.
Have your parents actually told you, "Honey, we want to sacrifice for you. Please use all of your earnings on yourself, just for fun, extra things." If that is the case then it is perfectly OK. But, did they really tell you that or are you just expecting them to sacrifice for you? Just think about it.
You are an adult, albeit a young adult. Your parents have the legal and moral right to stop paying your expenses at any time. Just because they have not done that today does not mean that they won't tomorrow, so be prepared. Also, the unexpected can happen in life. Today your parents have two careers, perhaps tomorrow one, or both, will be fired or laid off or become disabled or (hopefully not) die and their financial help to you can stop. I just wanted you to consider that possibility.
I'm 62 years old and I have not met even one college student in all that time that feels the same way that you feel about "your money". Perhaps some college students with extremely wealthy parents use their paychecks "just for fun" but I have not met even one person in real life that did that.
We have friends who earned, perhaps, $300,000 to $400,000 a year when their children were in college. Guess what? All three of their children had part time jobs during the school year and summer jobs and helped pay for some their own college expenses. It helped them mature into responsible adults. I am not saying that is the only way to handle it but every parent that I know handles it the same way.
From your posts you sound somewhat immature. People are just trying to give you suggestions that may help you learn a bit more from life by sharing their experiences, knowledge and possible pitfalls. We are not trying to be mean but want to give you helpful suggestions and to think about other points of view on the situation.
Yes, my response was pretty strong but I was only trying to get you to understand my point. Which apparently you did not get.
Have your parents actually told you, "Honey, we want to sacrifice for you. Please use all of your earnings on yourself, just for fun, extra things." If that is the case then it is perfectly OK. But, did they really tell you that or are you just expecting them to sacrifice for you? Just think about it.
You are an adult, albeit a young adult. Your parents have the legal and moral right to stop paying your expenses at any time. Just because they have not done that today does not mean that they won't tomorrow, so be prepared. Also, the unexpected can happen in life. Today your parents have two careers, perhaps tomorrow one, or both, will be fired or laid off or become disabled or (hopefully not) die and their financial help to you can stop. I just wanted you to consider that possibility.
I'm 62 years old and I have not met even one college student in all that time that feels the same way that you feel about "your money". Perhaps some college students with extremely wealthy parents use their paychecks "just for fun" but I have not met even one person in real life that did that.
We have friends who earned, perhaps, $300,000 to $400,000 a year when their children were in college. Guess what? All three of their children had part time jobs during the school year and summer jobs and helped pay for some their own college expenses. It helped them mature into responsible adults. I am not saying that is the only way to handle it but every parent that I know handles it the same way.
From your posts you sound quite immature. People are just trying to give you suggestions that may help you learn a bit more from life by sharing their experiences and knowledge.
Good luck to you.
To be fair though, this is not at all the point of his OP.
He has a GF who showed no class or respect, swearing in front of his parents the first time they met. She has created a lousy first impression of herself, and the OP's parents are less than thrilled with it, and may be concerned that his attentions are not where they should be. I don't know what he can do to undo their impressions of her.
I will admit, I have a pretty foul mouth, always have even as a kid. Having said that, when in front of adults, even to this day, I watch what I say and am respectful. If I am meeting someone for the first time, no matter who they are, I don't use foul language around them at alll. (Now once we get to know each other, then that's another story). So your girlfriend should have known better. Just disrespectful to do that in front of her boyfriends parents. Having said that, there is nothing stopping you, from talking to her about it, and simply asking her to watch her mouth when she is in front of your parents, and asking her to apologize. I am sure this would go along way into helping everyone's relationship.
I am sheltered, that I will not front on, sucks for the people in those experiences though.
Thanks for saying that and confirming what I was thinking all along. Your entire thinking process indicates a very sheltered young man. You latched on the first girl who gave you any attention and your total infatuation for this young girl have made you unable to think rational. Its almost like you have blinders on and you eat sleep and breath this young lady and nothing anyone can tell you at the moment because this is the best thing that ever happen to you in your mind. Parents are often public enemy number and made to look like the mean evil bad parents in situations like this should they try to tell you anything but what you want to hear from them. You can't even make it through the summer without seeing her, this is a time to focus on other things, work, vacation time with family, help out around the house until you meet again in the fall. Just relax and enjoy your summer break with your family and let this young lady do the same.
I will admit, I have a pretty foul mouth, always have even as a kid. Having said that, when in front of adults, even to this day, I watch what I say and am respectful. If I am meeting someone for the first time, no matter who they are, I don't use foul language around them at alll. (Now once we get to know each other, then that's another story). So your girlfriend should have known better. Just disrespectful to do that in front of her boyfriends parents. Having said that, there is nothing stopping you, from talking to her about it, and simply asking her to watch her mouth when she is in front of your parents, and asking her to apologize. I am sure this would go along way into helping everyone's relationship.
In her defense, she did tone down the f bombs and s bombs A LOT, it was hardly double digits in total. I've heard her cuss more in 3 sentences than she did the entire time she was around my parents
Thanks for saying that and confirming what I was thinking all along. Your entire thinking process indicates a very sheltered young man. You latched on the first girl who gave you any attention and your total infatuation for this young girl have made you unable to think rational. Its almost like you have blinders on and you eat sleep and breath this young lady and nothing anyone can tell you at the moment because this is the best thing that ever happen to you in your mind. Parents are often public enemy number and made to look like the mean evil bad parents in situations like this should they try to tell you anything but what you want to hear from them. You can't even make it through the summer without seeing her, this is a time to focus on other things, work, vacation time with family, help out around the house until you meet again in the fall. Just relax and enjoy your summer break with your family and let this young lady do the same.
I think we're infatuated with each other, not a day goes by where I'm not being asked to call her or Skype her. Plus, me going out there was more her idea in mind.
I think we're infatuated with each other, not a day goes by where I'm not being asked to call her or Skype her. Plus, me going out there was more her idea in mind.
Until you stop being so **** struck you'll accept a classless little twit. I'm sure your parents will forgive you once you dump her. Until then enjoy the ride.
I think we're infatuated with each other, not a day goes by where I'm not being asked to call her or Skype her. Plus, me going out there was more her idea in mind.
I believe its more you than her. This young lady is from new York and I'm sure she is used to see good looking guys of various backgrounds due to the great diversity there. That's what you want to believe because you have a pretty serious bite from the love bug. If you go there, chances are you will see lots of girls, her friends and family and in her neighborhood who are very similar to her in looks and attitude plus the diversity of the girls there in general and all the swear words flying all over the place. You would be thinking I must have died and gone to heaven and your parents may not ever see you again.
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Are you 12 years old? Sheesh!
