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if you look long enough for the woman to be aware you are looking at her and your intent was just to glance appreciatively and move on, you've probably looked a little longer than you should and it turned into a stare. If you have time to actually think thoughts while you're looking, staring is probably going on, and there may be fallout to deal with, since the woman may be attached to some male in the vicinity. In this day and age, people can't really afford to think that looking is harmless. Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't. It depends on the sensibilities of the people involved. And since it tends to involve people you don't know, you have no way of knowing what those sensibilities are...so all you have to depend on are general guidelines. Guidelines that err on the side of caution and restraint. Less is more.
I think as you deal with whatever issues you are facing that may be driving the excessive looking and staring, I believe you'll see improved outcomes.
I've been around a while and the most that's ever happened is a woman covered up her shoulder and looked uncomfortable so I stopped looking. So maybe I'm not doing too bad. I've checked out hundreds of women or more, and no one male or female has ever verbally or physically confronted me for it.
Maybe in my case I'm just overly worried about what people think.
I've never known of any person with a magazine sex drive.
What is it called?
Periodicasexual? Is there a Oversubscribers Anonymous in your city?
That's where the pictures of women are that I can blatantly stare at without them seeing me. I'm like Judd Fry. I can't get a real woman, but unlike him it doesn't make me violent.
It has to do with your angrily judgemental attitude.
Well, I don't think I've been unfairly judgmental.
Look, your POV seems to rest on 2 basic assumptions, both of which I find highly suspect:
1) That the line between attention and harassment is incredibly subtle and subjective.
2) That women are strongly inclined to overreact and accuse men of harassment when nothing of the sort occurred.
I've worked in law offices that dealt with sexual harassment accusations. I know from my professional experience that harassment is usually anything but subtle or subjective, and that most women are incredibly reluctant to accuse anyone of sexual harassment. They know full well most people--especially their male co-workers--will usually role their eyes and accuse them of overeating. I've seen it countless times.
I've been around a while and the most that's ever happened is a woman covered up her shoulder and looked uncomfortable so I stopped looking. So maybe I'm not doing too bad. I've checked out hundreds of women or more, and no one male or female has ever verbally or physically confronted me for it.
Maybe in my case I'm just overly worried about what people think.
Well that's the problem. Because of this sensitivity of some women, you can't know you've crossed a line until after you've already crossed it and she reacts and is already offended.
Well Davros such is life. Its not just women, people are different. There are obvious behaviors that cross the line. If your concern is normal human behavior offending someone its just the chance you will have to take.
As has been suggested find out what the policy is at your work, outside of that well just try to use a little logic.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Davros
It is sexuality. Just because I can't accomplish "acceptable" sexuality doesn't mean I have no sexuality.
Staring at magazines isn't a sexuality. Sorry. More excuses.
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Problem solved.
