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Your post is completely rude and I'd say that the "bore" guy dodged a bullet..... You sound more like a 14 yr old boy sitting in a basement trying to invoke crap out of people...
Most mature adult women have a little more respect for people than to say the bolded part.
Not to mention your post makes you sound cheap too.... just to let you know.....
lol, why rude??
and what do u mean by cheap? a woman enjoying sex is a ****? are we in the 17 century??
this "hold out" thing, wasnt that for high school or the 1950s?
i didnt know adult people still "waited" to "give sex". If i go out with a man that does everything but try to have sex with me, i assume he is sexually tramautized, sucks in bed, or an adult virgin.
This is where I'm glad I'm not out in the dating world... a guy takes a girl out for dinner a couple of times, doesn't try and mount her too quick and he's labled "boring"...
You sound like a rough broad to hang out with.....
I'd venture to say you're probably low 20's and don't having any expectations of being treated with some basic respect... growing up in the hookup culture that Gen Y have..
I'm not a prude and most certainly don't expect to wait too long before a woman has sex with me... on the flip side I don't want to be called a "bore" because I'm not trying to put the wood to a woman the minute I meet her......
oh, and i had sex cause i see it as a natural thing people that like eachother do, not as a thing that comes after marriage or comitment.
You could see it the other way, too, my experience is that usually guys that get sex are the ones that want to commit, guys who dont get it are the ones that dissapear. Or, to put it the other way, most guys i slept with fall in love with me after doing it, and wanted to be with me AFTER doing it, much more so than before.
But thing is, sex =/= love. The guys didn't even have to like you. They like sex, and you were giving it. So, they took it.
Relationships and official dating is hard work. You have to sacrifice to keep your partner happy. You have to consider their feelings. You can't just do as you please, of they may get angry, etc. And some don't want to deal with all the extra work and hassle.
If a man ticks off his woman, she can withhold sex from him, as some woman tend to do when upset. So, sex isn't always guaranteed when you want it in a relationship.
So rather than have someone to please and answer to, they just have hook ups with different woman. being just a hook up, a man doesn't have to have loyalty to her. He doesn't have to talk to her if he doesn't want. He doesn't have to impress her, buy her things, and he can sleep with other women if she's not available, and if he finds one attractive.
I can give 4 good examples. And no offense to the girls in the examples. It's just cases of where they started something they really weren't ready for.
Casual sex and fooling around takes iron will and control of your emotions to keep it casual, and not get attached. These girls couldn't do that. But the men had no problems doing it. And it usually plays out this way most of the time. Rare cases are the men falling, both parties are fine for casual and it stays that way, or they may fall for one another. But the last seems mostly on tv.
1st girl - Was actually FWB. She was very close with her guy friend, who didn't want a relationship yet. But they got intimate. It was fine at first, then she started liking and wanting to date him. He could tell she was different, and he stopped the FWB arrangement because he knew he didn't want to date her, nor did he have romantic interest in her. Just friends with extra pleasure. And a bit later, he ended up with an actual girlfriend, and she's very upset.
2nd Girl - Dated a guy in the military, and he outright told her he wasn't looking for anything serious. She said it was fine. They posed as a newly wed couple in a hotel, got a honeymoon sweet and even played a newly wed game and won over all the real couples. Then when he got ready to leave, she started asking him about a wedding date. And he had no intention of marrying her. She started buying bride magazines and bossing him around. And he told her he is leaving for 2 years in Japan, and that was that. So, I am sure she's not happy.
3rd Girl - She hooked up with a guy for 2 years, and they were fine. But then she wanted to stop the sex. He said it was fine. One day when she wanted some company, and asked him over, he said he'd only come if she was giving sex. She told him friends hang out, and he says he won't mind, but wants sex with it, and he won't just hang with her without it. So, she wasn't even his friend. So, it wasn't FWB. The guy labeled her a sex buddy, and she's only going to get to keep him for a bit if she gives sex.
4th girl. Worst of all. Lets call her J. She's simply a sex buddy. The guy has a girlfriend, He said he thought she was cute, and that he'd hang out with her if he got to sleep with her. She said it was fine. Now, J is starting to like him and wants to date him, officially. And she wants him to leave his girlfriend. And now he told her he'd drop her if she didn't do what he wanted. She says the thought upsets her-but she likes him too much to leave. Her's is the worst case yet, and this arrangement started fine, but has gone south badly for her. And his girlfriend left him recently. He's still sleeping with J, but he treats her like a prostitute. One day even asking her to come over and take her pants off for him and his friends. When she sends him messages on Facebook, he blocks her sometimes, and she says when she tries to be his friend and talk to him, he acts like he doesn't care.
So, he liked her body, face, and sex. But he doesn't give a damn about her personally, even though she's hot, and in law school. He acts like she's his *****, rather than his friend with benefits, of girlfriend.
A man can sleep with a woman he hates, so long as he gets sex. You putting out isn't getting love. It just means you're easy-sexually available, and so, of course they come to you for that.
How do you know they loved you? Did they ask to live with, or marry you? They may have just come back for more sex. And sex isn't always emotional for men like it can be for many women.
I have seen 15 women start having sex with a guy. They fell in love and wanted more, but none of the guys did. I just gave 4 examples, but there was more lol
But thing is, sex =/= love. The guys didn't even have to like you. They like sex, and you were giving it. So, they took it.
Relationships and official dating is hard work. You have to sacrifice to keep your partner happy. You have to consider their feelings. You can't just do as you please, of they may get angry, etc. And some don't want to deal with all the extra work and hassle.
If a man ticks off his woman, she can withhold sex from him, as some woman tend to do when upset. So, sex isn't always guaranteed when you want it in a relationship.
So rather than have someone to please and answer to, they just have hook ups with different woman. being just a hook up, a man doesn't have to have loyalty to her. He doesn't have to talk to her if he doesn't want. He doesn't have to impress her, buy her things, and he can sleep with other women if she's not available, and if he finds one attractive.
I can give 4 good examples. And no offense to the girls in the examples. It's just cases of where they started something they really weren't ready for.
Casual sex and fooling around takes iron will and control of your emotions to keep it casual, and not get attached. These girls couldn't do that. But the men had no problems doing it. And it usually plays out this way most of the time. Rare cases are the men falling, both parties are fine for casual and it stays that way, or they may fall for one another. But the last seems mostly on tv.
1st girl - Was actually FWB. She was very close with her guy friend, who didn't want a relationship yet. But they got intimate. It was fine at first, then she started liking and wanting to date him. He could tell she was different, and he stopped the FWB arrangement because he knew he didn't want to date her, nor did he have romantic interest in her. Just friends with extra pleasure. And a bit later, he ended up with an actual girlfriend, and she's very upset.
2nd Girl - Dated a guy in the military, and he outright told her he wasn't looking for anything serious. She said it was fine. They posed as a newly wed couple in a hotel, got a honeymoon sweet and even played a newly wed game and won over all the real couples. Then when he got ready to leave, she started asking him about a wedding date. And he had no intention of marrying her. She started buying bride magazines and bossing him around. And he told her he is leaving for 2 years in Japan, and that was that. So, I am sure she's not happy.
3rd Girl - She hooked up with a guy for 2 years, and they were fine. But then she wanted to stop the sex. He said it was fine. One day when she wanted some company, and asked him over, he said he'd only come if she was giving sex. She told him friends hang out, and he says he won't mind, but wants sex with it, and he won't just hang with her without it. So, she wasn't even his friend. So, it wasn't FWB. The guy labeled her a sex buddy, and she's only going to get to keep him for a bit if she gives sex.
4th girl. Worst of all. Lets call her J. She's simply a sex buddy. The guy has a girlfriend, He said he thought she was cute, and that he'd hang out with her if he got to sleep with her. She said it was fine. Now, J is starting to like him and wants to date him, officially. And she wants him to leave his girlfriend. And now he told her he'd drop her if she didn't do what he wanted. She says the thought upsets her-but she likes him too much to leave. Her's is the worst case yet, and this arrangement started fine, but has gone south badly for her. And his girlfriend left him recently. He's still sleeping with J, but he treats her like a prostitute. One day even asking her to come over and take her pants off for him and his friends. When she sends him messages on Facebook, he blocks her sometimes, and she says when she tries to be his friend and talk to him, he acts like he doesn't care.
So, he liked her body, face, and sex. But he doesn't give a damn about her personally, even though she's hot, and in law school. He acts like she's his *****, rather than his friend with benefits, of girlfriend.
A man can sleep with a woman he hates, so long as he gets sex. You putting out isn't getting love. It just means you're easy-sexually available, and so, of course they come to you for that.
How do you know they loved you? Did they ask to live with, or marry you? They may have just come back for more sex. And sex isn't always emotional for men like it can be for many women.
I have seen 15 women start having sex with a guy. They fell in love and wanted more, but none of the guys did. I just gave 4 examples, but there was more lol
Thanks for the input, great and respectful post for a change
But in my experience is not always like that. I know cases when the woman is the one wanting sex and men love. And men are also definetely looking for love out there, too. Believe me. Men also want to fall in love .
You are speaking as in guys dont want to be in relationships (?).
In the world i live in, men and women are equally interested in being in a relationship. Some women i know dont want to be in a relationship at all, some guys would die to be in one. I would think he would want to be my boyfriend cause i guess im kinda great and who wouldnt?
No I'm speaking as if men often need more than good sex as a reason to enter a relationship. Sorry sweetheart but what you have in between your legs is not anymore special than the other million of women that have the same thing. Sleeping with a man early on or later will ultimately have some bearing on whether he pursues a relationship with you, but the majority of the time it boils down to them having a reason or reasons to want to commit to you. For the average man it doesn't happen overnight. He wants to get to know you. See where your head is at. Determine whether your a keeper. But if your making it that easy for him this early it essentially get all The benefits of what it would be like to have you as his gf without having to make you his gf, then why would he want to change the status quo? Im not saying that he won't make his gf, that he doesnt want a gf, or that you screwed it up. I'm only saying that it's too early to tell, it's only been two weeks and since that is the case, why are you doing so much so soon? Expecting more than what is time appropriate? Being in the grey zone at two weeks is not odd at all, but rushing in to something without discussing what the intentions are is not a good idea. You end up in this situation... I wish you the best of luck.
this. dont over think this relationship, you need to relax and see where things go from here.
Yeah, you and Raena are right. I kind of seem to have a problem with "taking things easy", my anxiety gets the best of me, and that might be why im wary about this thoughts, i dont wanna ruin this getting all anxious or overthinking.
So then you just don't understand why he hasn't declared you the love of his life already?
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