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First when I arrived, she was like " it is so nice to finally meet you". I was like "she must like what she sees". Then while we conversed at the table she was smiling and asking questions about what I like and then we hugged at the end. She told me to text her when I got home and I sent a text on friday, and called and left a message last night
I doubt it's a case of 'pretending to be interested' but more like being polite and civil. I got that 'line' a lot from guys and I said that a lot too. That I had a good time or they say that. But I never tell them to text or call me. A lot of guys tell me to text and call them. I just said ok but I really don't have plans to.
For me, if they REALLY had a good time, why ask me to text/call them? Because I never ever initiate anything when I was dating. When I was dating it's always contact me first, and what happens next, is up to me.
I guess that's the equivalent of when a girl goes out with a guy and he says, "I had a great time!!" (Big kiss) "I'll call you!!" And then he never does. I guess it's one of the pitfalls of dating?
Quote:
Originally Posted by FBJ
First when I arrived, she was like " it is so nice to finally meet you". I was like "she must like what she sees". Then while we conversed at the table she was smiling and asking questions about what I like and then we hugged at the end. She told me to text her when I got home and I sent a text on friday, and called and left a message last night
No response to text
No return call yet.
She should be in the movies because that was some wonderful acting. Lol
Well maybe she did have fun, and like you. But she didn't feel a romantic attraction, and knew already that you didn't wanna just be friends. Guys run from that word. So, she just faded out.
I can't believe people are defending someone for blowing FBJ off. If it was a guy, the women would be so annoyed.
It's not being "kind" to ignore someone's texts because you aren't interested; it's being a coward. Woman up and tell the dude that you had a nice time but don't see things moving forward with him.
Seriously, can we all just stop the games now and just start being honest? No wonder women can't figure men out and vice versa. We're all so busy trying to play games that we never have any middle ground.
Not enough information, after one date to make any grand conclusions. Most 'new' people are flakes and it's easier to ignore a txt from someone who was vaguely polite but not THRILLING to meet.
In statistics, the sample size 'N' must be greater than 30 before you can make generalization about the data pool. So work on your meet and greet skills, your conversation, your ability to show someone a good time. If you have OPTIONS you don't have too much time to sit around and mope about the one that got away.
If you get tired of the game, just get a cat/dog and call it a day.
Yes that's hpow I did in 1999. I prefer someone to let me know right away. That way no ones time is wasted
Fair enough. At least you are honest about it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TJenkins602
I would probably prefer that she said that she wasn't interested if she wasn't interested. If she walked out in the middle of the date, I'll live. However, I wouldn't walk out in the middle of the date. I do try to keep things honest, but pleasant. If I'm not interested, I would find a pleasant way to say it. Like;
Maybe put in a compliment at first.
Ok. I wasn't trying to make a judgment call in my post and say that declaring you aren't interested is a bad way to go about it. I was just trying to see if the OP could handle that bluntness. Had he responded and said "well, that is a bad move too," then I would have wondered what exactly he expected out of someone who wasn't interested. But he did answer that he preferred a woman to be upfront about it, as opposed to being led on, from his POV anyway.
I don't know what I would prefer out of the situation. Probably the same as you - honesty but not an "I'm out of here" type thing. Maybe if they really couldn't stand you, but if they felt a friend vibe, then they could admit that rather than lead the other person to think there was potential there.
First when I arrived, she was like " it is so nice to finally meet you". I was like "she must like what she sees". Then while we conversed at the table she was smiling and asking questions about what I like and then we hugged at the end. She told me to text her when I got home and I sent a text on friday, and called and left a message last night
No response to text
No return call yet.
She should be in the movies because that was some wonderful acting. Lol
What should she have done? I've gone on dates and not been attracted to the guy but still been friendly and social. You make the best of it, why have an awkward dinner? If they ask me out again, I'll tell them I don't feel chemistry, but I'm certainly not going to behave differently toward him over dinner than I would a friend or anyone else. Just saying "it's nice to meet you" doesn't mean anything, it's a standard pleasantry. Trying to read things into what your date is saying or doing is not good, IMO.
Ok. I wasn't trying to make a judgment call in my post and say that declaring you aren't interested is a bad way to go about it. I was just trying to see if the OP could handle that bluntness. Had he responded and said "well, that is a bad move too," then I would have wondered what exactly he expected out of someone who wasn't interested. But he did answer that he preferred a woman to be upfront about it, as opposed to being led on, from his POV anyway.
I don't know what I would prefer out of the situation. Probably the same as you - honesty but not an "I'm out of here" type thing. Maybe if they really couldn't stand you, but if they felt a friend vibe, then they could admit that rather than lead the other person to think there was potential there.
I can handle the bluntness because I don't reveal everything about my physical appearance before I meet like
thinning hair
few extra pounds
They liked my picture so I just say I am 6'5 and it's stated in the ad I am a few extra. So I prefer blunt honesty so I can continue with the date or head back home
Ok. I wasn't trying to make a judgment call in my post and say that declaring you aren't interested is a bad way to go about it. I was just trying to see if the OP could handle that bluntness. Had he responded and said "well, that is a bad move too," then I would have wondered what exactly he expected out of someone who wasn't interested. But he did answer that he preferred a woman to be upfront about it, as opposed to being led on, from his POV anyway.
I don't know what I would prefer out of the situation. Probably the same as you - honesty but not an "I'm out of here" type thing. Maybe if they really couldn't stand you, but if they felt a friend vibe, then they could admit that rather than lead the other person to think there was potential there.
It's all good. I answered because the question spoke to me. I think you and I both would prefer the same treatment.
I'm on a dating site to meet a companion, not looking to just get out the house
An example of getting out of the house will be saturday, I posted an ad for a platonic friend and we are supposed to meet for coffee and she is going to be my dating counselor. I call that a productive outing because I am getting some info that can be useful
But just going out to meet someone and never heard from them again is a waste
But it's a process FBJ
People don't go from zero to 150mph like race cars.
You want a "companion", a girlfriend and that's fine - you have a relationship as your goal
But you need to understand you can't get to "relationship" status without first going through the meet and greet stuff, this is why what happened Friday was not a "waste of time".
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I guess it's one of the pitfalls of dating?
