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People don't go from zero to 150mph like race cars.
You want a "companion", a girlfriend and that's fine - you have a relationship as your goal
But you need to understand you can't get to "relationship" status without first going through the meet and greet stuff, this is why what happened Friday was not a "waste of time".
I know it was only $12 but I just hate treating someone when it's no guarantee I will see them again. 2nd date or 3rd I don't care but I really wish I can go dutch when I meet someone the first time
I know it was only $12 but I just hate treating someone when it's no guarantee I will see them again. 2nd date or 3rd I don't care but I really wish I can go dutch when I meet someone the first time
People don't go from zero to 150mph like race cars.
You want a "companion", a girlfriend and that's fine - you have a relationship as your goal
But you need to understand you can't get to "relationship" status without first going through the meet and greet stuff, this is why what happened Friday was not a "waste of time".
I can agree. But I see FBJ's point too. If nothing developed, then he didn't gain anything. She just cut him off. Didn't tell him why she wasn't interested, on off chance it's something he can work on. Maybe he came off wrong, was dressed a way that gave a bad vibe, etc. There was also no relationship, or even started as friends and building with it.
So, it just came off as charity on her part since she didn't leave, and he spent his time and started to like someone who didn't feel the same way, and didn't plan to talk to him again.
So, the night was just something in passing that didn't get him closer to a relationship. Though you can say if it was fun, then that was good. He wasn't alone for that night. But then after that hour or so, it's back to stage 0.
I am a bit like FBJ.
Example
I never had a boyfriend, been on a date, kissed or anything close to romantic with the opposite sex. Now, there was a guy that I liked. He seemed like he liked him, and was flirting. But he never asked me out, and ended up with another girlfriend later. So, I count that for nothing, as nothing came of it. So, he didn't like me like I thought apparently.
Another guy, whom I thought was cute, said I was beautiful, liked my skin color and asked questions, let me try some stuff for free. He worked there. It was a beauty supply store. It made me feel nice that day. But again, he didn't ask me out, so I don't count it as anything to brag about. If he was attracted, apparently it wasn't enough to want more than seeing me in the store.
When I was dressed up from taking pictures, I went to a food place with my mother, and the guy there seemed to find me attractive, and when we left and came back, he went to the back and came up with some other guys. My mother found it funny, and said he seemed to like me. But do asking out happened there. So, again, nothing to brag about.
So, like flirting. If a guy doesn't ask me out, then his flirting was a waste of time, and it can be misread.
So, I always feel self-conscience about my non-existent dating life, and my looks--though I guess I am average. Those 3 instances are all I have that's close to positive, and they still aren't brag-worthy.
So, some people are more about yielding a result. Now even if they don't get what they want, at least having something to work off is good. But some don't even have that--only a waste of time, with nothing to really show for it, or gained from it.
I know it was only $12 but I just hate treating someone when it's no guarantee I will see them again. 2nd date or 3rd I don't care but I really wish I can go dutch when I meet someone the first time
Why don't you? You don't have to offer to buy anything and most girls don't want to feel obligated anyway, despite what you think about them "using" you for drinks or dinner. And spending time with someone that doesn't lead to a relationship isn't a waste of time. The more people you know the bigger your social network gets and THAT is how you find people. You don't just order up a woman online, wham bam...haha. Your expectations about this are all wrong and you will fail.
Knowing what little I know from this thread I doubt very much you will find someone who meets your requirements for guaranteed relationship status.
First when I arrived, she was like " it is so nice to finally meet you". I was like "she must like what she sees". Then while we conversed at the table she was smiling and asking questions about what I like and then we hugged at the end. She told me to text her when I got home and I sent a text on friday, and called and left a message last night
No response to text
No return call yet.
She should be in the movies because that was some wonderful acting. Lol
You tried and that is the best you can do.
You never know you may here from her yet, things to happen and she may have a legitimate reason for not contacting you at this point.
I can agree. But I see FBJ's point too. If nothing developed, then he didn't gain anything. She just cut him off. Didn't tell him why she wasn't interested, on off chance it's something he can work on, there was no relationship, or even started as friends and building with it.
So, the night was just something in passing that didn't get him closer to a relationship. Though you can say if it was fun, then that was good. He wasn't alone for that night. But then after that hour or so, it's back to stage 0.
I am a bit like FBJ.
Example
I never had a boyfriend, been on a date, kissed or anything close to romantic with the opposite sex. Now, there was a guy that I liked. He seemed like he liked him, and was flirting. But he never asked me out, and ended up with another girlfriend later. So, I count that for nothing, as nothing came of it. So, he didn't like me like I thought apparently.
Another guy, whom I thought was cute, said I was beautiful, liked my skin color and asked questions, let me try some stuff for free. He worked there. It was a beauty supply store. It made me feel nice that day. But again, he didn't ask me out, so I don't count it as anything to brag about. If he was attracted, apparently it wasn't enough to want more than seeing me in the store.
When I was dressed up from taking pictures, I went to a food place with my mother, and the guy there seemed to find me attractive, and when we left and came back, he went to the back and came up with some other guys. My mother found it funny, and said he seemed to like me. But do asking out happened there. So, again, nothing to brag about.
So, like flirting. If a guy doesn't ask me out, then his flirting was a waste of time, and it can be misread.
So, I always feel self-conscience about my non-existent dating life, and my looks--though I guess I am average. Those 3 instances are all I have that's close to positive, and they still aren't brag-worthy.
So, some people are more about yielding a result. Now even if they don't get what they want, at least having something to work off is good. But some don't even have that--only a waste of time, with nothing to really show for it, or gained from it.
Exactly, back to send an initial message online and starting all over again. I am so tired of being at 0. If I was already dating 2 girls atleast I could brush it off like it wasn't nothing lol
Me and the number 0 are tighter than macaroni and cheese LOL
I always said that it's not a such thing as cheap when it comes to someone you are interested. But when someone who is not interested in you or vice versa then being cheap is called "wise spending" lol
OP , hang in there , it happens. There is an outside chance she will finally respond, but I wouldn't but on it.
Look at it this way. She is shallow and inconsiderate , so you didn't have to waste any extra time or money trying to figure it out.
Was this someone you met online ?
I can handle the bluntness because I don't reveal everything about my physical appearance before I meet like
thinning hair
few extra pounds
They liked my picture so I just say I am 6'5 and it's stated in the ad I am a few extra. So I prefer blunt honesty so I can continue with the date or head back home
Text/Call once, if no response try again a couple days later.. still nothing? Move on.
Even if they contact me a week or two after I decided to move on I usually ignore them.
I'm deal with people all day at work, it's not that hard to respond to stuff. I just brush it off and go find someone who digs me.
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