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You guys really do make me appreciate the woman who became my wife. She let me know right off the bat that I was there strictly for her enjoyment and entertainment and not due to my, then undisclosed, net worth. She was and still is an independent lady who never expected anyone to pay her way. She also accepted it, graciously and with obvious appreciation, when I did. I respected her for that and I still do today. It was that mutual respect that eventually lead me to ask a struggling single mom and her young daughter to join me and to become my family, so that we could share the things I was more than happy to provide.
She still enjoys the simple things we did back then, from shared sunsets to rainy day walks. Today she freely enjoys the benefits of her unselfish non-judgmental manner. It took me 12 years between marriages, but I found a Lady, a wife and a best friend who loves me..... with or without money. 30 years later, it's still a toss up as to which of us picks up the tab.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,989,150 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC
But female posters have shown over and over how they contradict this. First they say money doesn't matter at all because women are so sentimental to care only about his feelings, knowing him, spending time together but later on complain about a guy choosing a chain restaurant, an ice cream, using coupons, not paying for a woman’s expenses (as it has been shown again in this thread) etc. Come on women, make up your mind :P .
These are in no ways contradictory. It isn't about the money, it is about the sentiment behind it, and the class and manners being expressed.
Most every woman I date makes more than I do. Easy to do considering. They don't need me or want me to buy them a couple of drinks, or a dinner for a date... that isn't the point it, $20/40/100 doesn't make a lick of difference to them or their lives (or mine really).
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cedge1
You guys really do make me appreciate the woman who became my wife. She let me know right off the bat that I was there strictly for her enjoyment and entertainment and not due to my, then undisclosed, net worth. She was and still is an independent lady who never expected anyone to pay her way. She also accepted it, graciously and with obvious appreciation, when I did. I respected her for that and I still do today. It was that mutual respect that eventually lead me to ask a struggling single mom and her young daughter to join me and to become my family, so that we could share the things I was more than happy to provide.
You should appreciate your wife, but what you are saying is how probably 90%+ of the dating population (from my limited experience) acts. Classy and gracious.
The people whining here are real outliers in my experience, and if they're not, I'm thankful I do not live in their area or run in their circles.
The irony of my approach to this thread is that I have almost the reverse approach. I generally pay for things because it's expected of me (and it most definitely is expected) and it "works" (as indicated by all the condescending remarks about "real men", "good manners", etc.). I absolutely loathe that my actions "contribute to the problem" (so to speak), but as mentioned on other threads...it's not a war that one person can wage. For every one guy that would insist on dating finance and initiative equality, there's 5 others that would line up to scoop up the available woman, even if she does insist on outdated gender roles.
But on the rare occasion that I'm with a woman that I'm genuinely interested in and want to pursue on a grander scale, I'm going to be watching her approach and beliefs regarding cliché gender roles and the like very closely. That street goes both ways. That woman that feels entitled to be wooed, however you describe it? She's not getting a call back. That's reserved for the women that are pleasantly surprised by it, not the ones that get pissed off at you for not doing it in the first place.
You guys really do make me appreciate the woman who became my wife. She let me know right off the bat that I was there strictly for her enjoyment and entertainment and not due to my, then undisclosed, net worth. She was and still is an independent lady who never expected anyone to pay her way. She also accepted it, graciously and with obvious appreciation, when I did. I respected her for that and I still do today. It was that mutual respect that eventually lead me to ask a struggling single mom and her young daughter to join me and to become my family, so that we could share the things I was more than happy to provide.
She still enjoys the simple things we did back then, from shared sunsets to rainy day walks. Today she freely enjoys the benefits of her unselfish non-judgmental manner. It took me 12 years between marriages, but I found a Lady, a wife and a best friend who loves me..... with or without money. 30 years later, it's still a toss up as to which of us picks up the tab.
She still enjoys the simple things we did back then, from shared sunsets to rainy day walks. Today she freely enjoys the benefits of her unselfish non-judgmental manner. It took me 12 years between marriages, but I found a Lady, a wife and a best friend who loves me..... with or without money. 30 years later, it's still a toss up as to which of us picks up the tab.
Guess what? There's a diversity of opinion among the women here. Shocker!
Most women around here have agreed that men should be the ones who pay, take initiative, and so on. Not a shocker really to see women prefer that.
Quote:
We don't all think alike. Surely you can grasp that concept
The majority do. There are exceptions too of course.
Quote:
Those of us who say it's not about money aren't being contradictory
If money was not important at all then why complain about guys who use or don’t use coupons, who go to a chain restaurant, or who don’t spend money on women (as it has been shown once again in this thread)? The only woman in this forum so far to clearly disagree with this concept is Ulysses. Haven’t seen her in a while though.
Quote:
It's just that other women disagree; for them, it's about a guy demonstrating his caring by buying them something (gift/s, meal/s). In those cases, money is a symbol for love
Money a symbol of love, interesting. Even more interesting is that if women see money as a symbol of a man’s love for them then, why not show that “love” as well to their man by also spending on him? How sad to get all the love but not give all the love as well.
Is this thread even about a guy who NEVER PAYS anymore? It just seems like a rehash of the other thread, where despite a bunch of women's saying that they are willing to take turns treating or do other things to show courtesy and appreciation, we're still called golddigging prostitutes.
Can you imagine dating a guy where you have to prove you're not a mooch, because that's his default assumption? Barf.
Is this thread even about a guy who NEVER PAYS anymore? It just seems like a rehash of the other thread, where despite a bunch of women's saying that they are willing to take turns treating or do other things to show courtesy and appreciation, we're still called golddigging prostitutes.
Can you imagine dating a guy where you have to prove you're not a mooch, because that's his default assumption? Barf.
Imagine dating women who have to prove a man is not just after sex as many say. Yes. Superficial men/women are out there.
You guys really do make me appreciate the woman who became my wife. She let me know right off the bat that I was there strictly for her enjoyment and entertainment and not due to my, then undisclosed, net worth. She was and still is an independent lady who never expected anyone to pay her way. She also accepted it, graciously and with obvious appreciation, when I did. I respected her for that and I still do today. It was that mutual respect that eventually lead me to ask a struggling single mom and her young daughter to join me and to become my family, so that we could share the things I was more than happy to provide.
She still enjoys the simple things we did back then, from shared sunsets to rainy day walks. Today she freely enjoys the benefits of her unselfish non-judgmental manner. It took me 12 years between marriages, but I found a Lady, a wife and a best friend who loves me..... with or without money. 30 years later, it's still a toss up as to which of us picks up the tab.
Where did you go or what did you do on your initial date?
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