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Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
4,375 posts, read 4,070,925 times
Reputation: 2158
Quote:
Originally Posted by kat949
Most times when we meet people we're very compatible with, has nothing to do with looks
Sure, but you don't care if you're compatible with them if you feel no sexual attraction for them whatsoever. I might be more compatible with someone who is 5 feet tall and 400 pounds, but I'm still not interested in them. Compatibility becomes relevant when you're choosing between multiple people to whom you are sexually attracted.
Yes, we all know that looks aren't everything. Let's say you meet someone who's interested in you who has a lot of qualities that you find attractive. Let's say that the person is also physically attractive, but just not what you usually go for. If you've been obsessed with blondes all your life and always imagined yourself with a blonde, would it be fair to "settle" for a brunette if you know that your love for blondes is so deeply ingrained that you'll never EVER really stop lusting for blondes? (No, this isn't about Elliot Rodger.) I'm just asking whether it's possible to go against your type and truly be happy with that decision. What do you think?
It completely depends on the individual. Some people have very few preferences, they could pretty much "date" a telephone pole, anyone will do, but if you have physical preferences, then you just have them. If you prefer blondes -- there are certainly plenty of blondes and you're not doing a brunette any favor by "settling" with him or her. He or she will sense it in time, the way your head spins everytime a blonde walks by.
No one deserves to be with someone just because someone is only making do with them.
Sure, but you don't care if you're compatible with them if you feel no sexual attraction for them whatsoever. I might be more compatible with someone who is 5 feet tall and 400 pounds, but I'm still not interested in them. Compatibility becomes relevant when you're choosing between multiple people to whom you are sexually attracted.
That magnitude rarely comes into play though.
Women always say, "Yea, I rejected you because I'm not attracted to you. Would you date somebody a woman who was 5 feet tall and 400 pounds?"
I can't even remember the last time I interacted with a person who fits that description.
Typically rejections happen between people who are roughly in the same league or at least ballpark.
Yes, we all know that looks aren't everything. Let's say you meet someone who's interested in you who has a lot of qualities that you find attractive. Let's say that the person is also physically attractive, but just not what you usually go for. If you've been obsessed with blondes all your life and always imagined yourself with a blonde, would it be fair to "settle" for a brunette if you know that your love for blondes is so deeply ingrained that you'll never EVER really stop lusting for blondes? (No, this isn't about Elliot Rodger.) I'm just asking whether it's possible to go against your type and truly be happy with that decision. What do you think?
For me, personality trumps looks...
I've been with guys who were not exactly my type but their personality really turned me on.
Conversely I've also had opportunities to be w/ guys who are smoking hot but who seriously were dicks
All that alpha stuff really is a red flag for me.
Those guys are pigs.
I take it on a case by case basis now, lol
So I used to only go younger for example....
From the most recent bad experience, I now know that I really appreciate guys who are mature;
If that means I have to date within a 5-10 yr radius to get maturity, so be it
I date a woman who is my type physically and has a great personality, but she is really into politics and loves to share her views. I don't care for hard core politicos of any kind. I know she purposely tries to play down that part of herself so I will continue to ask her out. It really is a game killer in my opinion.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,753,896 times
Reputation: 41381
Depends on WHAT I'm being asked to compromise. I don't think I could date any girl South of 5'4 (in my experience, they don't want to date guys North of 6'3 anyway). I could work with a lot of stuff physically but for a serious relationship is where I get more selective and consider personality.
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