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Yes, we all know that looks aren't everything. Let's say you meet someone who's interested in you who has a lot of qualities that you find attractive. Let's say that the person is also physically attractive, but just not what you usually go for. If you've been obsessed with blondes all your life and always imagined yourself with a blonde, would it be fair to "settle" for a brunette if you know that your love for blondes is so deeply ingrained that you'll never EVER really stop lusting for blondes? (No, this isn't about Elliot Rodger.) I'm just asking whether it's possible to go against your type and truly be happy with that decision. What do you think?
You'll know when all the other traits you like, make the one you don't like, seem trivial.
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I think I've always had pretty inclusive "types." At least I did once I decided to pursue what I wanted and not some ideal someone else set for me without my input. So regarding physical types I've dated athletic, overweight and everything in between. I've dated several different ethnicities, women who were older than I, younger, single moms, divorcees, college girls, etc. It's been a pretty diverse demographic, really. The personalities have been pretty diverse as well. I think for me the key was being open to anything. I liked the freedom of being single because even in the face of something not working out I always had a tinge of excitement about "what would come next." When you're not set on a "type" you just never know!
With that said, when I met my wife something clicked and that was the end of my adventurous spirit, at least regarding dating. Sometimes when you know you've found a match you just hold on and never let go.
Notice the dichotomy, here. Some guys don't think in these terms. They'd say, "If she's not my type, how would I be attracted to her?" It's so much more about the physical with most guys.
I don't think it's that simple. Guys may focus more on physical traits and less on personality, but when they're actually confronted with someone who doesn't fit their required physical traits, they often make exceptions because they like the person. For example, I could say I want a woman who's in good shape. But then I might meet someone who I really hit it off with, only she's a bit overweight. Because I like her, I'm willing to look past the fact that she's not "my type" and, if anything, it forces me to reevaluate just what my type is.
I don't think it's that simple. Guys may focus more on physical traits and less on personality, but when they're actually confronted with someone who doesn't fit their required physical traits, they often make exceptions because they like the person. For example, I could say I want a woman who's in good shape. But then I might meet someone who I really hit it off with, only she's a bit overweight. Because I like her, I'm willing to look past the fact that she's not "my type" and, if anything, it forces me to reevaluate just what my type is.
This is definitely true. The last time I posted that guys can get broadsided by a winning personality who doesn't fit their physical req's, though, I was shot down. The general consensus among the guys posting at that time was that this is a "fairy tale".
I wished I didn't have a "type" at least in terms of looks, I have a very specific look that I like in women... I've tried over the yrs to ignore it and actually felt bad about it at one point in my life........ like I was some kind of bad person because of it.
I've decided to not fight it.
I likes what I likes and that's just the way it is. (done channeling Popeye)
Long story short I don't think people should waste their time trying to date outside of their type, it's just gonna cause you grief in the long run.
Long story short I don't think people should waste their time trying to date outside of their type, it's just gonna cause you grief in the long run.
Yeah, I mean, if you can be completely happy with someone who's not your type, great. But if you're the kind of person who knows that you'll always lust for your type, then you might end up wanting to cheat at some point.
I wished I didn't have a "type" at least in terms of looks, I have a very specific look that I like in women... I've tried over the yrs to ignore it and actually felt bad about it at one point in my life........ like I was some kind of bad person because of it.
I've decided to not fight it.
I likes what I likes and that's just the way it is. (done channeling Popeye)
Long story short I don't think people should waste their time trying to date outside of their type, it's just gonna cause you grief in the long run.
My humble opinion of course.
This reminds me of a guy I know who married a girl because he felt sorry for her;
He is now paying a heavy price.
Can't get into details, but I feel really, really bad for him-
his heart was in the right place.
But something he openly admits is she was never his type-
he usually went for blondes, with curves.
She's Latino & is extremely high maintenance.
(When they were dating, he must've overlooked that fact)
This is definitely true. The last time I posted that guys can get broadsided by a winning personality who doesn't fit their physical req's, though, I was shot down. The general consensus among the guys posting at that time was that this is a "fairy tale".
That's because most guys are confident in their requirements. They don't want to believe that they might actually change their minds about something. I was that way in my 20s, absolutely adamant about not dating someone who was overweight or taller than me. Someone posed the same question you did. "What if you met someone who had a great personality, but she didn't fit your required physical attributes?" And my answer at the time was, "it doesn't matter how great she is, if she's taller than me or carrying extra weight, I won't date her." I ended up eating my words less than a year later when I started dating a girl who was 5'11 and a bit overweight.
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