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Location: The High Desert of the American Southwest
214 posts, read 231,224 times
Reputation: 365
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jade408
Why do birds sing. Older guys have been hitting in younger women since the Neanderthal age. Where have you been? Are you telling me 30 year olds didn't hit in you when you were in college?
^^^^^^^ Exactly!
This is one of the biggest "duh" questions ever posed on this forum, and it made me wonder if the OPer had been living in a cave for most of her previous life. Or at least, was a newbie to the dating world.
Speaking of caves! I'm reading a fascinating book on Evolutionary Psychology right now, and it gest the answers to many common questions about our practices and customs and preferences by looking back at our pre-historic times as we evolved.
Back in our hunter-gather days on the African savannah, when we travelled in tribes of 100 to 150 or so persons, one of our key survival goals was of course to propagate our species; to procreate. The alpha males of the pack would usually look to the women who appeared healthiest and most fertile and thus had the best chance to birth a healthy offspring. These were almost always young women, back then, the optimal wage was around 14-15 years-old.
Now: there is a theory in Evolutionary Psych circles called the "Savannah Principal" which postulates that even today, in our modern world, we still cling to those old desires and beliefs, and they sometimes give us problems when they go against societal norms--which are of course very new in the grand scheme, when you consider we spent a good 100,000 years as hunter-gatherers before settling into an agrarian society.
This warrants repeating. Too many women are misinterpreting the posts.
Well, here's the thing - and you know that I don't care who men hit on - the question was why do older guys hit on younger women - so then you get women who chime in about how they are not exactly young and they still get hit on and you get guys that chime in about how younger women are so much hotter and older women don't compare to younger women. Women get a bit defensive because - let's face it - our culture places a woman's looks above all her other attributes. It's changing somewhat - but I'll admit that I've always wanted to be beautiful and I've never appreciated how beautiful I actually am. And there is also soooo much more to me than just my looks - but I'm not going to lie, I want to be appreciated for my looks (in addition to other things as well). So - that's on the woman's side of things. And then you get some men who can't wait for their "revenge" to set in - when the beautiful women that wouldn't give them the time of day when they were younger become old, wrinkly, and unwanted - and then they can say, "In your face! I'm going after women younger and hotter than you and you are now old and ugly! Old Hag!"
The truth of the matter is - and I've said it before - men hit on women that they find attractive. The question of this thread is why do older guys hit on younger women - and it's because they find them attractive. But what is being inferred from this question is that older men ONLY hit on younger women. And that is the part that is not being acknowledged. Men hit on ATTRACTIVE women - not ONLY young women. And no matter how many people want to protest against this - you really can't tell exactly how old someone is just by looking at them. I used to get hit on when I was 14/15 years old by guys that thought I was in my late teens/early 20's and I used to get hit on when I was in my late 20's by guys that thought I was in my teens (yeah - that kind of creeped me out. No. I'm not in high school and neither are you!!!) Just because a guy in his 40's hits on a woman in her 20's - it doesn't stand to reason that he ONLY hits on women in her 20's. He could hit on women spanning a 20 year age range. Now, if he truly does want a young woman and wants to wait to start a family - he might not stick with the older women once he finds out how old she is. But we don't wear our ages tattooed on our foreheads and I would venture to guess that when men see someone they want to hit on - their thought process goes something like, "There's a beautiful woman. I'm going to go talk to her" and not, "There's a beautiful women. I wonder how old she is. Do I see any wrinkles around her eyes? What about her neck? Okay, I think she looks young enough. I'm going to go talk to her."
And purposely at that. Do you notice how it's the same ones in arguments?
I'm not in an argument. And I'm not misinterpreting anything.
What I AM doing, is calling out yet another young guy (it's occasionally women, too) on CD who, with his handy little weapons - the mouse and the keyboard - and using the anonymity of the internet as his armor, can become an internet warrior. And the kind of man he's always wanted to be: powerful. witty. brilliant. respected.
Unfortunately, too many of them think that a man earns that kind of influence by being rude and offensive. And behind that armor, internet warriors say things online that they would NEVER say to anyone IRL.
I was at the Beach Boys concert yesterday. An older guy, who looked like almost Beach Boys age kept telling me how pretty I am. I was nice to him because he was polite. Then he said "you made my day" and I said back "you made my evening" - because it was true and I didn't think anything of it. So he wanted to give me his number!! I said " I AM 37!!!!" He blinked and said "Well, I am 47!" - which was a complete lie. He looked like late 60's.
Then I went to a bar with friends and I got hit on by 25 year olds - maybe even younger.
Why am I invisible to guys my age??????
You don't like younger men? Then again, I'm young enough to be your son lol.
Well, here's the thing - and you know that I don't care who men hit on - the question was why do older guys hit on younger women - so then you get women who chime in about how they are not exactly young and they still get hit on and you get guys that chime in about how younger women are so much hotter and older women don't compare to younger women. Women get a bit defensive because - let's face it - our culture places a woman's looks above all her other attributes. It's changing somewhat - but I'll admit that I've always wanted to be beautiful and I've never appreciated how beautiful I actually am. And there is also soooo much more to me than just my looks - but I'm not going to lie, I want to be appreciated for my looks (in addition to other things as well). So - that's on the woman's side of things. And then you get some men who can't wait for their "revenge" to set in - when the beautiful women that wouldn't give them the time of day when they were younger become old, wrinkly, and unwanted - and then they can say, "In your face! I'm going after women younger and hotter than you and you are now old and ugly! Old Hag!"
The truth of the matter is - and I've said it before - men hit on women that they find attractive. The question of this thread is why do older guys hit on younger women - and it's because they find them attractive. But what is being inferred from this question is that older men ONLY hit on younger women. And that is the part that is not being acknowledged. Men hit on ATTRACTIVE women - not ONLY young women. And no matter how many people want to protest against this - you really can't tell exactly how old someone is just by looking at them. I used to get hit on when I was 14/15 years old by guys that thought I was in my late teens/early 20's and I used to get hit on when I was in my late 20's by guys that thought I was in my teens (yeah - that kind of creeped me out. No. I'm not in high school and neither are you!!!) Just because a guy in his 40's hits on a woman in her 20's - it doesn't stand to reason that he ONLY hits on women in her 20's. He could hit on women spanning a 20 year age range. Now, if he truly does want a young woman and wants to wait to start a family - he might not stick with the older women once he finds out how old she is. But we don't wear our ages tattooed on our foreheads and I would venture to guess that when men see someone they want to hit on - their thought process goes something like, "There's a beautiful woman. I'm going to go talk to her" and not, "There's a beautiful women. I wonder how old she is. Do I see any wrinkles around her eyes? What about her neck? Okay, I think she looks young enough. I'm going to go talk to her."
Just my 2 cents.
I agree with almost everything you just said. But the underlined, the part being inferred...is the part that people are misinterpreting. Nobody's saying that older women are unattractive (or if they are and I missed it, they're just dumb). But the false conclusion being drawn by everyone getting defensive is exactly what you mentioned in the underlined....that either men only hit younger women, or that all older women are unattractive, neither of which are true.
You don't like younger men? Then again, I'm young enough to be your son lol.
Nope. Not into younger guys. Being around young guys and listen to what they think are "serious problems" makes me feel very old. We have nothing in common.
I agree with almost everything you just said. But the underlined, the part being inferred...is the part that people are misinterpreting. Nobody's saying that older women are unattractive (or if they are and I missed it, they're just dumb). But the false conclusion being drawn by everyone getting defensive is exactly what you mentioned in the underlined....that either men only hit younger women, or that all older women are unattractive, neither of which are true.
I don't think that everyone is implying it - but I think a few are - which is what makes people defensive. Some people on this thread are deliberately trying to put down older women - so it makes sense that older women (which could mean anything over 25 to some people!) would get offended. But given the pressure that our society puts on women to always look attractive - it's not surprising that any hint at putting down a woman's beauty because she is out of her 20's is going to strike a nerve. I was telling my husband the other day how I wish I had appreciated my good looks when I was younger - because I feel like I'm not that attractive right now. Well, he obviously thinks I'm just as beautiful because he's in love with me and he sees me for all that I am - but it does make me a bit sad to think of not looking as good as I used to. I hope to like my appearance again soon - I'm still trying to lose the baby weight and am giving myself some time - but truth be told, I just wish I didn't care at all. I wish that being a mother, a wife, a wonderful friend, a talented singer, a great actress, an intelligent woman with a great sense of humor - I wish that all of that was enough and that I still didn't feel this need to make men salivate when they see me walking by. Because it's almost like if men don't hit on you - you are now worthless. When in truth - there are women of all ages get hit on - and there are women of all ages that don't get hit on. And getting hit on doesn't really mean that you are worth more as a person and getting hit on less doesn't mean that you are worth less.
Nope. Not into younger guys. Being around young guys and listen to what they think are "serious problems" makes me feel very old. We have nothing in common.
Well a lot of younger guys just got disappointed lol. I think you're hot btw.
I don't think that everyone is implying it - but I think a few are - ...
Like the guy who called older women "hamburger meat?" Or the guy who said women over 35 wish men were interested in them or the guy who said that older women have a "diminished value" (the exact words there in the quotes). Yeah, some are doing more than implying it.
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And I'm not misinterpreting anything. 
