Asking "what's in it for me?" Is it really that bad? (date, married)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,711 posts, read 41,899,665 times
Reputation: 41452
Quote:
Originally Posted by Suncc49
Lets look at the Christian purposes of marriage:
1) Mirror gods image - God’s first purpose for creating man and woman and joining them in marriage was to mirror His image on planet earth. Center your attention on those words, mirror His image. The Hebrew word for “mirror” means to reflect God, to magnify, exalt, and glorify Him. Your marriage should reflect God’s image to a world that desperately needs to see who He is. Because we’re created in the image of God, people who wouldn’t otherwise know what God is like should be able to look at us and get a glimpse.
2) Complete each other and experience companionship - Scripture clearly outlines a second purpose for marriage: to mutually complete each other. That’s why God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18). Adam felt isolated in the Garden, and so God created woman to eliminate his aloneness. Writing to the first-century church in Corinth, Paul echoed the teachings in Genesis 2 when he asserted, “However, in the Lord, neither is woman independent of man, nor is man independent of woman” (1 Corinthians 11:11).
Think of it like this - the man alone is the hardware and he needs the software (woman) to form a complete team in life.
3) Multiply a godly legacy - A line of godly descendants—your children—will carry a reflection of God’s character to the next generation. Your plans for children may still be in the future, but if He gives you a child, you will be in for an amazing adventure.
Sacrifice is necessary in life and you do it in small ways everyday (going to work rather than sitting @ home doing whatever). You shouldn't be asked to sacrifice everything to be in a relationship, but you should make some sacrifices to ensure that your relationship succeeds.
Just a FYI for everyone, if you base your points on religion, the Diss will not take you seriously. Not picking on you in particular, just warning everyone.
I doin't think there's anything wrong with asking that question. Time has value and only becomes more important as time passes on. I believe the question becomes more important the older we get. In my early 20s, I never thought much about what am I getting out of this relationship. It was fun and we were both having a grand ole time getting to know each other. As you age you see things in a very different light. You may have kid(s) through a previous relationship or have a career path that doesn't allow you to accept someone with a criminal background, even if it's just a misdeameanor. Everything in a sense continues to become more real till we breath our dying breath. So, during lifes trials and tribulations, we tend to ask more often what am I getting out of this person, activity, friend, etc.
This is exactly the way I feel about it. When I was young and starting out in life the question never entered my mind. Now its a different story.
Just a FYI for everyone, if you base your points on religion, the Diss will not take you seriously. Not picking on you in particular, just warning everyone.
LOL. Even biblically and thereafter until fairly recent history marriage was actually a "what's in it for me" or for our family/tribe etc. business deal. Marriages were arranged to increase wealth and status, circumvent wars, create alliances, get rid of your non-productive daughters, etc. seldom were they based on true love. Even fairly recently when marriages basically required the blessing of the parents, parents were looking for a man that would be a good provider or a women who would be a good mother and supportive mate.
So marriage based on altruism and unconditional love is a relatively new and rare concept.
LOL. Even biblically and thereafter until fairly recent history marriage was actually a "what's in it for me" or for our family/tribe etc. business deal. Marriages were arranged to increase wealth and status, circumvent wars, create alliances, get rid of your non-productive daughters, etc. seldom were they based on true love. Even fairly recently when marriages basically required the blessing of the parents, parents were looking for a man that would be a good provider or a women who would be a good mother and supportive mate.
So marriage based on altruism and unconditional love is a relatively new and rare concept.
Surprises can be pretty detrimental if we aren't careful
If one continues to withdraw and hardly ever deposit then there is a problem.
There should be plenty in there to satisfy both partners needs.
It's when there is a partner draining the account is when you ask the question, "What's in this for me?" Also they begin pulling their funds out of that account and eventually open a different one.
There is nothing wrong with thinking about that, as long as you are bringing something to the table as well. Relationships are about two people, not just one.
Your initial interest in someone is always selfish.
However, if you truly grow to have a relationship and start caring for them, you stop looking for what is in it for you and start investing in the relationship by giving.
It is very similar to Christmas. As a kid, it's all about "what do you want" or "what's on your list." As you mature and grow, you begin to realize that you get a lot out of giving, and in giving, you will receive plenty. If two people approach the relationship that way, you will “get” more than if you take a “what is in it for me approach”.
If one continues to withdraw and hardly ever deposit then there is a problem.
There should be plenty in there to satisfy both partners needs.
It's when there is a partner draining the account is when you ask the question, "What's in this for me?" Also they begin pulling their funds out of that account and eventually open a different one.
This is a very good analogy.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
