Women are the choosers and men get chosen? (gay, relations, people)
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Yep, I agree men have choices. For some, though it's very cut and dry, either approach or stay single.
But it's not like a relationship is a static thing. As it continues, both parties have the option to choose to remain with the person, or to leave, at any time.
I guess in the case of a "bum," maybe he's not going to choose to leave, but people always have a choice in a relationship. So with the Judge Judy example, I guess the woman does, in fact, pick him, but they both choose to stay together in what I'm assuming are train wreck relationships. (Don't watch Judge Judy so I don't know for sure.)
The first thing to remember about human beings is that we are animals, primates to narrow it down further. As much as we may want to, or think we can completely remove ourselves from instinctive animal behaviors; many of those behaviors will still manifest themselves unconsciously.
In the primate world, it is typical for the female to display herself in an attempt to attract male suitors. Several males will show interest, often engaging in physical confrontations or other means to distinguish themselves from the other interested males. The female will then chooses the male she feels will be most advantageous for mating. Her choice will include physical characteristics as well as an assessment of intelligence and the ability to survive. Her ultimate goal is to find a mate that offers the highest probability of providing strong genetic material for procreation, as well as the ability to provide protection and security for her and any potential offspring.
Human beings are certainly much more complex than other primates. We have social, cultural, political, and psychological aspects which are factored-in to our mating strategies. However, instinctive attractions and tendencies are constantly at play, even if we don't recognize the role they have in our decisions.
Translating that into human interaction means looking at how we go about attracting and choosing mates. The female will make herself look as appealing as possible to potential mates. She will highlight various physical traits she possesses--which may indicate her fertility, as well as character traits that may suggest her to be highly competent as a mother to potential offspring. Males will compete for her attention. She will choose a male that seems to be virile enough to produce healthy offspring which will survive and flourish.
Love and romance are nice, and I'm not suggesting that we are slaves to our instinctive reproductive tendencies. Nor am I suggesting that we don't have other factors involved in our behaviors. However, I would argue that, generally speaking, there is a mating process that underlies our behavior: a woman displays herself for the purpose of attracting the attention of men, men compete for the attention of that woman, the woman chooses the man she feels will be the best mate. So in a very real way, women are the choosers and men get chosen.
Of course they won't do that, because their fragile female egos can't face public rejection instead of that plausible deniability BS that women use to save face such as "oh I wasn't interested anyways" or "I was just being friendly", etc.
You explained it the best and its time for women to step out of their comfort zone or quit complaining.
A woman chooses with whom she has a relationship, just as the man does - it is reciprocal choice. If she has many suitors, she may choose from them (or not). Or, she may put herself out there and pursue to enhance her choices. She may also choose not to be with anyone. So Judge Judy is telling women they chose a man over other options, such as being alone. Being without a partner is a legitimate choice, especially if it is the lesser of two evils.
Judge Judy always tells women in a bad relationship on her show"You picked them"
I haven't really seen Judge Judy in a while but she is right about that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u
I do not understand that.
Let me explain....
How can women be the choosers if MEN approach women they like 90% of the time?
Isn"t it men who really do the choosing?
Think about what you just said.
If men do all of the approaching, especially with online dating and social media, then who's doing the choosing? Women are! She will rummage through all of these guys and picks one. Men cannot do this, if they can they are either a celebrity or a millionaire+.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u
If a woman does not have any man approach her,then how is she the "chooser"?
Most women i know who do not get chosen(approached) do not pursue any relationship esp if nobody chooses her.
Women will always be getting approached in one form or another. Especially if she takes care of herself physically, women simply "don't get approached."
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u
For women who do get approached,and only gets approached by bums,then how is she doing the choosing IF only the bums approach her?
Are not the bums choosing her for a potential relationship?
All of these "Bums" are approaching, but at the end of the day SHE chooses the BEST bum.
Judge Judy always tells women in a bad relationship on her show"You picked them"
I do not understand that.
Let me explain....
How can women be the choosers if MEN approach women they like 90% of the time?
Isn"t it men who really do the choosing?
If a woman does not have any man approach her,then how is she the "chooser"?
Most women i know who do not get chosen(approached) do not pursue any relationship esp if nobody chooses her.
For women who do get approached,and only gets approached by bums,then how is she doing the choosing IF only the bums approach her?
Are not the bums choosing her for a potential relationship?
I say it this way, it takes two to tango. Unless the man put a gun to her head or she is living in a country of arranged marriages and women are less than human, then she has a choice.
It is not like the women go "I choose him" and the chosen guy unwittingly chase after her.
Men approach, women make the choice. That's how it's been since probably ever.
If men don't approach, don't expect to find a woman, because pretty much every woman gets approached.
I've been approached by a woman and I dated her. So the idea that a man can't get a woman if he doesn't approach is wrong.
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