I want a baby and my husband doesn't and wants me to stop getting upset about it (marrying, child)
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Via other family members. My brother, on average, has 50% of my genes. His successful reproduction insures my family's genes live on.
On average, my first cousins have 12.5% of my genes (if I recall the math correctly, it has been awhile since genetics class), so while less effective, without a first sibling, my cousin's reproducing pass on my families genes as well (though only a paternal or maternal side).
It is why in some species (many many species really) not every individual reproduces, but they can still pass on their genes and continue to biologically "live".
Oh okay, gotcha I thought you meant it was possible to pass on genes without anyone in the family ever reproducing.
I was like "What? We aren't earthworms??"
I'm baffled that someone would question the point of having children if his children never reproduced. My mother knows that I don't want children. My brother married an older woman and will never have children. I'm 100 percent certain that she has never questioned the point of bringing us into this world. (Although sometimes when we argue, she might question why she hasn't taken me out of it yet )
Some research has shown that, in a family containing male siblings, the younger siblings are progressively more likely to be gay. The hypothesis is that, genetically speaking, there is less need for younger siblings to pass on the family's genes (assumes their older brothers are doing a good job with that). I think some research on this was published in Scientific America a few years back and there was a thread on this forum about it.
I think it is younger siblings with older brothers. I dont know if older sisters mattered.
I am suprised by know no one offered to help out the original poster with her problem.
BTW my cousin who never wanted kids who is married and in his 50s most folk think the wife is his "beard"
He was responding to Ohio Peasant, who said he was anti-natalist.
I interpret someone saying they are anti-natalist as this: VHEMT
Not that they are just personally opposed to having kids, which is a legitimate position to take.
The doctor dude that ignores his daughter definitely should have had himself snipped (I'd castrate him myself if I saw him)
Neither of you are wrong in this sad situation. You got married very young and you've been married a long time. People change. Do you think you really want a baby, or are you mourning the one you lost or worried that if you don't have kids you'll regret it now that you know it's truly now or never to have one? Do you love your husband? Are the two of you compatible otherwise? Do you have fun together? Do you support each other? I totally understand wanting to have a baby, BUT you are taking a huge risk to leave a loving and happy relationship for the unknown. Divorces take time. Even if you divorced right now it will likely take some time to meet someone else - it could be years before you meet the right guy to have kids with and by then it might not be feasible any longer. You could leave a wonderful husband and end up with no baby and no relationship. Are you willing to take that chance?
I am suprised by know no one offered to help out the original poster with her problem.
This is because the OP's predicament brooks no solution. She can attempt to change her husband's views (low probability of success); she can attempt to get pregnant by some means and then announce the fantastic news to her husband (likely leading to severe acrimony, if not divorce); she can divorce her husband and attempt to reproduce with another man; or she can disavow her dreams and contend with living her life without fulfilling her cardinal dream. Truly a Sophie's Choice!
The best that we could do would be to console the OP, that her situation is not unique. But there is no good resolution of her predicament.
This is because the OP's predicament brooks no solution. She can attempt to change her husband's views (low probability of success); she can attempt to get pregnant by some means and then announce the fantastic news to her husband (likely leading to severe acrimony, if not divorce); she can divorce her husband and attempt to reproduce with another man; or she can disavow her dreams and contend with living her life without fulfilling her cardinal dream. Truly a Sophie's Choice!
The best that we could do would be to console the OP, that her situation is not unique. But there is no good resolution of her predicament.
Sure there is, it's called divorce. Personally I'd rather be alone the rest of my life than having to live with someone who got in the way of fullfilling a key part of my life.
I say take the chance, you won't regret it. Go for the BIG D baby!
. She can attempt to change her husband's views (low probability of success);.
No she shouldn't do that either, that never seems to work out well. Can't make someone want kids. But on the otherhand she shouldn't have to give up having them. Divorce is warranted here, without question. Can I call the lawyer for her? LOL
I am suprised by know no one offered to help out the original poster with her problem.
A couple of people did. It was suggested she see her doctor to find out what the risk would be of a second miscarriage, then have a heart-to-heart talk with her husband about it, if there's good news from the doc. But there may not be. If the doc says there's always a risk if someone has had one spontaneous miscarriage, she may, herself, decide it's best not to try, with the OP or anyone else.
In general, though, it's an intractable problem. The only solution is divorce. And plenty of people suggested that. Only the OP can decide what's more important--trying for a pregnancy with someone else, or staying with a husband she presumably loves.
What kind of help were you expecting people to give? The bases have already been pretty thoroughly covered.
Sure there is, it's called divorce. Personally I'd rather be alone the rest of my life than having to live with someone who got in the way of fullfilling a key part of my life.
I say take the chance, you won't regret it. Go for the BIG D baby!
I think the problem that others have identified is if she does divorce, she may not find another lover, and then she'll be left without her husband or a child.
The question is, is she able to afford/willing to go to a sperm bank, or adopt. In that case, the divorce option becomes more attractive.
Then again, it's really hard for me to advise because apparently my biological clock is on perma-Snooze.
Leave him, and have a child on your own. You do not need him to give you permission to have a child. Sounds like you've wasted 3 years hoping that he would change his mind. He hasn't, don't waste another day.....It is your life, and your choice!
He sounds like a complete A--. Millions of people have children and raise them on their own. It isn't the not having a child that is destroying you, it is his callous inconsiderate reactions to your change of heart. Stop giving him this power.....You have to take your power back.
I suggest that you go to counseling to get yourself back on track emotionally.....
You have begun to be heartsick, you've been grieving the loss of the first baby.....and and you need support and a good counselor can help you get your emotions leveled out, and then you can make some logical rational decisions. Good luck to you!!
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I thought you meant it was possible to pass on genes without anyone in the family ever reproducing. 
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