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Well, you skipped out hinduism which heavily taboo's drinking for families which descended from priests (like ours). It is NOT a social lubricant, sorry.
I mean, exactly how much of my life can my parents control. I know that mom is going to be denied her choice to pick the right kind of woman for me and I trust mom's opinion more than dad because she is a more practical person. Dad will find someone submissive he can reign over. I really don't want my future wife to be his next wind up toy .
I would much rather find a compatible person myself, because its quite well known what dad is going to do. He's tainted my life with all this isolation and now will move on to taint her's. I am NOT going to let that happen.
Anyway, there is no magic cure for shyness. You put on your big boy pants and pretend pretty women are just humans and you chat to them.
There should be some sort of way to build confidence. Its something internal that needs to change, I'm sure of that. I'm gonna do some sort of psychological evaluation at my university to see what's wrong with me and get training on how to change.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
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Adi,I don't see any indication that something is wrong with you. Technically, shyness us known as social anxiety disorder, but that's like saying Mark Zuckerberg has asperger's syndrome.
The famous psychology lab where I went to do the experiment at Stanford said the current paradigm is not to prescribe pills except in extreme cases, such as people who can't breathe in social situations, which doesn't describe you. The most that would be done is cognitive therapy, and in my (layman's) opinion, you would get the same result from just exposing yourself to social situations in your own. No need to change your brain chemistry here.
If you're a good looking guy, and have a personality which is interesting to women in terms of romantic attraction, I'm sure you'll eventually find someone who likes you back. I'm still looking at 36, but I'm unattractive in both body and personality. It is very rare to make it to my age and still be a virgin so I'm sure you'll do fine.
Try going to meetup.com meetings that might have females such as hiking groups. Stanford suggested that and I suggest it as well.
Last edited by neutrino78x; 10-03-2014 at 12:09 PM..
I love hiking a lot, especially during a blizzard .
You are at a big university, right? There's most definitely a Graduate Student organization you could get involved with. Heck there may even be an Indian or Hindu or Asian student organization as well, which would help you get over some of the cultural hurdles you're facing.
I won't drink, but I don't want the traditional arranged marriage. I won't do this, but I will do that?
I don't get it. Is your religion holding you back from the world, or is it just yourself?
You are shy because you want to be shy. You feel out of place, and out of touch with the society you find yourself in. That does not mean there isn't someone out there for you, but as the saying goes, when in Rome......
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