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Okay thanks. So are other women not like this then? I have had four gilfriends so far, and three of them always wanted me to pay for these things, so I just thought it was normal from the previous four. It was only my second who always payed her own way and never asked me too. So does that mean that on average, most women are like that, and the chances of finding one that are not are slimmer therefore?
Most women won't expect you to pick up the tab for both you and her (or for anyone) at a dinner you've been invited to with her parents. Nobody does that. Unless maybe it's informal, and your just grabbing lunch together, or something. Especially when the guy is unemployed. I find it hard to believe all but one of your gf's expected you to pay for 2 dinners, or for anything, when invited out to dine by your gf's parents. Get-togethers with friends? Truthfully, I don't know any couples who go out to group dinners that often, so it doesn't really come up.
Do women expect the guy to pay when he invites? Generally, yes, but it depends.
I wonder if you're somehow giving your gf's the impression you're a man of means, so they kind of default to a position of assuming you have everything covered. Do you show off at all? Wear an expensive watch or have some kind of expensive electronic gear? Talk about your lucrative job (which no longer exists)? If so, dial it all back and keep a low profile.
Okay thanks. She says I should pay cause I am the guy, and I had a higher paying job than her and have more saved up money therefore, but that money is in my savings for a reason.
Okay thanks. She says I should pay cause I am the guy, and I had a higher paying job than her and have more saved up money therefore, but that money is in my savings for a reason.
That's an inappropriate assumption on her part. Why is she keeping score like that, anyway? That's a red flag.
And I thought we weren't talking about only her, but your past gf's too? IDK where you live, but where I live, times have changed, and it's more rare than it used to be for women to assume the guy will pay for everything all the time. In my mother's or grandmother's generation they did that, but that was because in grandma's day, customs were different, plus way fewer women had jobs. It was a different world. Your gf is either a dinosaur--a throwback to a different age, or she's on the make. My bet's with the latter.
I live in Saskatoon, Canada, but I didn't think the culture here was that different. She said she's just old fashioned, and that feminism is stupid.
The Midwestern US and the South are very different places from the West Coast, in some ways. I don't know how Saskatoon compares to Vancouver or San Francisco. And she's definitely old-fashioned. Or on the make. Or both.
I live in Saskatoon, Canada, but I didn't think the culture here was that different. She said she's just old fashioned, and that feminism is stupid.
I wouldn't call her traditional or old-fashioned. She seems a bit devious/cunning, like she has an agenda and can be a bit domineering. I wouldn't recommend going much further with her, TBH.
Well based on what you people said I was 90% sure on breaking up with her. talked it over with my best friends as well, and they said i should be 100% before making the decision. they all agreed with your assessments as well, but i have to make the decision myself and still have to be 100% sure. that's the only thing keepiing me but it's getting there.
Well based on what you people said I was 90% sure on breaking up with her. talked it over with my best friends as well, and they said i should be 100% before making the decision. they all agreed with your assessments as well, but i have to make the decision myself and still have to be 100% sure. that's the only thing keepiing me but it's getting there.
Since you're still ambivalent, you can wait and see how things play out in the next couple of months.
Okay thanks. Well I took a break from her. Not a break up, just to break. I am in no hurry to date anyway right now. I was about to break up but when I confronted her on all this and threatened to break up, she broke down and cried, and said she will love me, and never be a stuck up princess again, as he called it. She loves me and wants me back. So I decided to take a break, take it slow, but not break up just yet. However, before I make a decision, there is one thing I need to know.
My girlfriend was upset because of something i did. about two years ago, we got a hotel room together, and we were planning on spending the whole weekend, alone to get away and be romantic. this was about four months after i started dating her, maybe five, to years ago almost.
i forgot it was the same weekend as my best friend's birthday. i asked her if it would be okay for me to leave for a couple of hours just to go to her party since i was suppose to but made a mistake and forgot the date. she said it was okay, but it really wasn't and she said it was unfair and told me about it. i kind of agreed, and did not mean to put her second, since we planned the whole weekend, but was getting away for a couple of hours on a whole weekend that bad maybe?
now skip ahead to present time. My best friend has moved since then and i have not seen her in a few months. me and my girlfriend a few weeks ago, decided to celebrate our anniversary on the 30th, instead of the 18th. normally we would have picked the 18th but for some reason we picked the 30th, but i do not remember why as we talked about it a couple of months ago.
two weeks ago, my friend gives me a call and says she will be in town to visit friends on the 30th and invited me and my gf to come out. I asked my gf if it was okay, since i had not seen her in a few months. i asked her if we could move the anniversary celebration back to our original anniversary date which is the 18th, instead. i even told her i would give her two days therefore. she said sure, we can do that. but now she says she has a problem with it, and that i ditched her for friend, and put her second for the second time, when i said i would not do that again
what do you think?
Weird bad luck. Strange that it happened twice with the same friend. I think you should have told your friend you're busy on the 30th, and ask if she'll be around the day before or the day after.
It's a question of priorities. Who is your priority? I know you're with your gf every day, but still--an anniversary is an anniversary. You make a commitment to it. You don't suddenly say, "Oh, wait! Oops!" It's partly about commitment. Letting your girl know she's special to you. That's how women see it.
You're giving her "I"m not that into you" vibes with this thing. And maybe you're really not all that into her. Think about it.
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