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Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
2,365 posts, read 2,148,847 times
Reputation: 3814
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ironpony
Well I fell in love with her before I found this out about her so it's hard to break up, since I love her.
Will you feel the same way when she puts you heavy into debt, has a couple of kids with you, and now wants a divorce, because you cant support them in a way she feels is 'customary'? You will be seeing her and paying child support for 18 to 22 years then, and still not have her love.
You have to look to your future, brah. I guess you could try to change her, but chances are strongly against that, especially when she has her friends and family trying to help her take you for a ride. If any of them considered you a guest at their functions - they would be paying for both of you.
Will you feel the same way when she puts you heavy into debt, has a couple of kids with you, and now wants a divorce, because you cant support them in a way she feels is 'customary'? You will be seeing her and paying child support for 18 to 22 years then, and still not have her love.
You have to look to your future, brah. I guess you could try to change her, but chances are strongly against that, especially when she has her friends and family trying to help her take you for a ride. If any of them considered you a guest at their functions - they would be paying for both of you.
Okay thanks. Well I am not saying I am going to keep whining and not follow through on anything. I am going to take some time away and assess the situation. I told her I would call her later tonight, to get her to stop calling, even though I feel like taking more time away.
But I will allow myself to be relieved of my emotions for a few hours at least, and then most probably break it off.
I have tried to change her when it came to money before, and she even got me to believe that I was in the wrong, and that I should always pay when she invites me out cause I am the guy. But I think I am done trying to change her after a few more times, and I am either going to break up, or give her an ultimatum. Either change from here on for good, or we're broken up.
My girlfriend lately has been inviting me to a lot of friends and family functions. Lots of birthdays mostly. However, I feel that I do not want to pay for dinner anymore, cause it has been too much money spent, and I would like a break. However, she got mad when I told her this and she now says that she and her family will feel rejected if I do not come to her brother's birthday dinner and pay for her as well.
It's just eating out can get quite expensive, especially with some of the restaurants people are choosing. Do I have the right not to come in order to save money, if I have been doing it too much, or is it my responsibility to come to her friend's and family's dinner invitations and pay for both of us, to be a good boyfriend? She says if I don't go to this one, that her family will possibly get a bad impression of me.
Then just let them get a bad impression, are they going pay your bills when they are due because you are broke from all the dining out. don't worry about impressing other people and just live within your means, don't burden yourself financially just to be accepted by others. You are not married to her or her family, take care of you first.
Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
2,365 posts, read 2,148,847 times
Reputation: 3814
Quote:
Originally Posted by ironpony
Okay thanks. Well I am not saying I am going to keep whining and not follow through on anything. I am going to take some time away and assess the situation. I told her I would call her later tonight, to get her to stop calling, even though I feel like taking more time away.
But I will allow myself to be relieved of my emotions for a few hours at least, and then most probably break it off.
I have tried to change her when it came to money before, and she even got me to believe that I was in the wrong, and that I should always pay when she invites me out cause I am the guy. But I think I am done trying to change her after a few more times, and I am either going to break up, or give her an ultimatum. Either change from here on for good, or we're broken up.
Give her the plastic knife. Its only like a $ 1.25 for a whole box of them at any grocery store. It is a customary way of severing a relationship for a Chilean, and a message she should easily understand. A few more times for what, for her to come up pregnant?
I would suggest walking away with your manhood and future intact. Start looking for other women ASAP. These people have been good experience for you. They have harshly shown you how they treat someone they dont respect. Maybe send her some yellow flowers too - if you are feeling generous.
The right one is waiting for you to find her, but you wont if you keep wasting your time on a leech.
Live up to your handle, ironpony. Be strong and run for your life!
Well she says that I should pay cause she does all sorts of nice things for me and she does. She does buy me gifts once in a while, and she bought me a $300 dollar jacket just now. I didn't ask for one but she got me it as a surprise, but she is so upset now that I brought up this issue, that she is now going to return the jacket. What do you think, have I been too hard if, she does get me things once in a while, and has now bought me a 300 dollar jacket? I didn't see the jacket yet, she just told she did, when I brought up the issue, and that she is going to return it now.
She is in debt and bought you a $300 jacket??? WTH?
Ironpony, ask yourself this, do you see a future with a woman who is terrible with money and wants you to pay for things you can't afford? Think hard about when it comes to renting or buying a place together and sharing expenses.
If so, stay with her, if not, there are many reasonable women around and you have a good head on your shoulders so you'll find one.
PS you don't even know she bought the jacket for sure, it sounds like some kind of manipulative, childish game to say I bought this for you and now I'm taking it back. If she has that much spare cash, tell her to give it to you to go towards all these meals out!!!
Last edited by adventuregurl; 10-04-2014 at 10:07 PM..
Well I fell in love with her before I found this out about her so it's hard to break up, since I love her.
I think you fell in love with the idea of how you wish it would be.
How do you love being in debt, spending money when you have none coming in, dealing with a partner who cares nothing about you, only herself? There's not much there to love, trust us on that!
This is the purpose of dating: learning more about a person.
You've learned plenty already:
1) She has financial problems
2) Does not know how to budget
3) Has no regard for your budget
4) Is demanding of your time and money to suit her interests
5) In moments of conflict she allows outsiders to dictate the outcome ("My family is going to get the wrong impression of you.")
The one positive thing that can be said about your girlfriend is that she is not a con artist. She is showing you exactly who she is.
If the above bothers you and you move forward with the relationship, you have no one to blame but yourself for the mound of problems you will face in the future.
As others often say: "No wonder the divorce rate is so high."
Her ex common law, screwed her out of a lot of her money from before. They broke up four years ago, but because of the system, it took a while, and she lost it all just before we started dating. They were living together and went into business together, and she lost a lot when she left him.
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