Should I pay for my girlfriend's dinner's if her friends or family is inviting me out? (dance, conversations)
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The thing is, is that I would have responded more romantically towards her if she brought it up in a different way. When she brought it up she did with a really snarky attitude saying that she has had dreams about me putting me second again since that day two years ago, and she knew it was going to happen. When she brings it up that way, it feels like she is deliberately testing me. Or is okay for a girlfriend to still test a guy after two years of dating?
I talked to two of my close friends who know her and have hung with her and me. They said that since we are already hanging out on the weekend of the 18th anyway, that we could have easily had the anniversary then, and that she is deliberately wanting to do it on the 30th to spite me. If that's true, then where do you draw the line between keeping your plans out of romance, compared to being spited?
Just pay for the damn dinners with her family. But tell her the next time just the two of you are out, she gets the bill. You shouldnt be paying ALL the time, but it does look good in front of the family so I can understand why you pay around them.
Okay thanks. Well the way she said and how she pretended to be okay with it, but not so later, just came off as testing to me. My bad.
Well she says she is okay with me not spending money on her at family functions but what should I spend money on. For example, on an anniversary or christmas, what would you say is fair, before it counts as manipulation or wanting too much?
I agree. Why would she buy you something you did not ask for? Now, she's returning the jacket you never laid eyes on. Ask her to see the sales receipt and transaction void. Even if she paid cash, she would have paperwork showing the sale and the return.
Tell her, even if she no longer loves you - she should have no issue with proving you wrong.
Oh I forgot, I also asked for the receit, but she says that I should believe her cause she's my gf, and that I shouldn't ask for proof, as if I don't trust her. She threw it away before I got to see her though anyway, she said.
Okay thanks. Well the way she said and how she pretended to be okay with it, but not so later, just came off as testing to me. My bad.
Well she says she is okay with me not spending money on her at family functions but what should I spend money on. For example, on an anniversary or christmas, what would you say is fair, before it counts as manipulation or wanting too much?
I wouldnt spend ANY on her. Make her something and then youll see her true feelings.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ironpony
Oh I forgot, I also asked for the receit, but she says that I should believe her cause she's my gf, and that I shouldn't ask for proof, as if I don't trust her. She threw it away before I got to see her though anyway, she said.
]The thing is, is that I would have responded more romantically towards her if she brought it up in a different way. When she brought it up she did with a really snarky[/b] attitude saying that she has had dreams about me putting me second again since that day two years ago, and she knew it was going to happen. When she brings it up that way, it feels like she is deliberately testing me. Or is okay for a girlfriend to still test a guy after two years of dating?
I talked to two of my close friends who know her and have hung with her and me. They said that since we are already hanging out on the weekend of the 18th anyway, that we could have easily had the anniversary then, and that she is deliberately wanting to do it on the 30th to spite me. If that's true, then where do you draw the line between keeping your plans out of romance, compared to being spited?
OP, this relationship is going downhill. She's using your scheduling error against you. It sounds to me like you two need couples counseling. Except you're not even married. So it's up to you to decide if you want to save this mess, or walk away from it.
The thing is, I'd say talk to her about it, about the snarkiness. But you just did talk to her. You two just had a big go-round about the dinners. And she even cried and said she wouldn't be such a jerk. She said she loved you, blah blah. But can you see that she really doesn't love you? It's just more empty promises. One minute she says she'll behave, and the next minute, she's putting in little digs because you messed up on the anniversary date.
This means it will never get better. No matter how much she cries and begs and promises, nothing will change.
Well she says she is okay with me not spending money on her at family functions but what should I spend money on. For example, on an anniversary or christmas, what would you say is fair, before it counts as manipulation or wanting too much?
I don't understand why you can't figure this out for yourself. What is it normal to spend money on? Anniversaries, Christmas, birthdays. And if you're unemployed, Christmas and anniversary spending should be modest, according to your means. Not normal: dinners where you're someone else's invited guest. More dinners than you can afford to pay for.
Are you not from the US? Your thinking process and seeming lack of knowledge about US cultural norms would indicate you're not from here.
Last edited by NewbiePoster; 10-15-2014 at 08:25 PM..
Are you going to come and ask us what to do after every single conversation you have with her?
Thank you. Jaysus...he is exhausting.
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