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I made the mistake of giving someone a second chance, Things will be different this time, I promise is one of the biggest lies in the book and will only keep you away from a good person.
Oh, how we want to believe that the loves of our lives just messed up that one time, that their behaviors will permanently shift to the good side, and they will never lie again.
Everything you are feeling is normal because you still love the guy on some level.
But you already know there is no going back.
An honorable person would teat you honorably. If he was REALLY serious about having made a mistake and realizing you were his true soulmate all along, he would divorce his wife before coming to you and spend the rest of his life trying to repair the damage he's done to you. He would not try to beg you into lowering yourself into being the other woman.
He's showing you his own lack of character and why he's not really the dreamboat you thought he was. Clearly, his pattern is to look outside a relationship when he feels dissatisfied rather than working it though with the person he's with. First he did it to you, now he's doing it to her. Until he attacks his own poor coping mechanisms he's no one's husband material.
Oh, how we want to believe that the loves of our lives just messed up that one time, that their behaviors will permanently shift to the good side, and they will never lie again.
Ain't never gonna happen.......
I believe people can change but it is rare as hell, and if they are not owning their mistakes and getting help and showing real change then you gotta run for the hills no matter how much it hurts.
You should have just ignored him the moment you saw him. Instead you brought him right back into your life. It's a no win situation for you because he married someone else and while never wanted to marry you. That is such an insult, I don't know how you can even bring him back into your life? DAMN!!!!!! Girl, get a hold of yourself. The moment he spoke to you, you should have Mod cut: language him across the face. You were so disrespected and you brought him right back into your life again. And the worst part is, he is damn married.
MOVE the HELL ON with your life and tell him to Mod cut: language. He is only going to use you, control you and when he's done. He's going to throw you away like a diseased dog. He's playing games with you. And he knows you will fall for it. If you two get caught in this Mod cut: language, he's going to be the type of person who will be laying blames on you, that you are the psycho ex who couldn't move on.
I don't get why people allow themselves to be manipulated like this. If some woman who I had a relationship with came back to me and was married and wanted to try something again I'd tell her to leave and don't ever contact me again. Tell him to leave you alone.
I was in a relationship with my boyfriend for five years. We lived together and I was madly in love with him. We had settled down and had a home together and were both happy. I felt like I was done dating and found the person I was meant to be with in this lifetime. He had claimed to feel the same way. Everything about us always felt right and like home.
We had regular couple issues, never anything serious or lingering. Our biggest issue was that he didn't believe in marriage. I did and had always wanted a wedding, a marriage, but I loved him and I respected him and I knew that he felt the same way about me so I let it go. Not resentfully, but I was crazy about him and I realized that I didn't need to be married because he always made me feel loved and secure. I never pressured and I let it go.
To make a long story short, over the last eight months of our relationship changed. Slowly, but it did. He became increasingly annoyed, unhappy… didn't want to cuddle or be intimate anymore. He lashed about strange things… I would make him his favorite foods and he would just go on to bed. We had fights, and finally he admitted he wanted to move out and said it wasn't working anymore. Three months later, he admitted he had found someone else. We were no longer fighting at that point. He told me how happy he was and how being with this woman made sense and how nuts he was over her. He said maybe it was better me and him not talk for a while for numerous reasons, mostly because he thought it would be harder on me.
It was a rough year. I missed him and would Facebook stalk them, etc. I would look at pics of them together and get super sad and depressed. I also felt like I would never get him back. She's prettier than me, makes more money, etc. The list goes on. The gut-wrenching part happened when I heard they were getting married through a friend of a friend. It was like someone had punched me in the stomach.
So that said to me it wasn't that he never wanted to get married, he just never wanted to marry me. Well, okay I guess.
Anyway, it hurt but I loved him so I let it go and him as well. I figured he would most likely never talk to me again, unless we saw each other somewhere. A year and five months later and I still hadn't really dated anyone or anything, but continuing on with my life and stuff.
But now… he's come back around again. We saw each other at a mutual friend's birthday party and he said he'd text me. Well, he did, later that night. We met and had lunch to catch up. I didn't expect much. But he started dropping hints about how he misses my cooking, misses me and was bringing up old inside jokes. He has tried to come over and sleep with me. Sunday night he called me drunk saying how he loves me and everything about me and he wants to move back in. He says I'm the best woman he's had and how only I know how to take care of him.
It has all made me feel like crap all over again. I'm upset all this happened and pretty much I come home after work and get in bed and cry. I feel like such a loser. I'm starting to feel the same way as when we first split up and he married his wife.
I just don't know where to go or what to do really. I just feel sad and lonely.
He cheated on you, and now he's cheating on her. Block him from your life. He will just cheat on you again when he gets bored.
He wants some pie on the side...he is going to build you up, get what he wants, and then ditch you. Avoid the mother****er. You need to develop a self esteem and start to be a little more logic driven.
Kimberly,
So you want to become the other woman? Do you have a low self-esteem? This is the reason why he probably did not "pick you" in the first place. Sorry, I don't want to judge. But do not under any circumstance agree to be his other woman - no man is worth this and there are a ton of great men who are truly looking to find their other half and will be happy to make you their woman. Get over him, PLEASE.
I was in a relationship with my boyfriend for five years. We lived together and I was madly in love with him. We had settled down and had a home together and were both happy. I felt like I was done dating and found the person I was meant to be with in this lifetime. He had claimed to feel the same way. Everything about us always felt right and like home.
I just don't know where to go or what to do really. I just feel sad and lonely.
Well I'm not you and your not me. But I would never ever take someone back that left me for someone else. No matter how much I was in love or how special and unique I thought she was, she left me for another guy. Something I can forgive but never forget.
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