Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
All of this is an excuse, stop complaining and work on all of those outside flaws that you CAN change.
If 90% of single women were obese, would the complaint about the impact of obesity on dating still be an "excuse"?
Quote:
The world is more connected than ever. You can meet someone at the grocery store, baseball game, football game, car wash, a diner, golfing, bowling, everywhere... Go outside and see for yourself, the opportunities are everywhere it's just that you aren't taking that step.
But cold approaches have a very low success rate. What might work is ongoing exposure to a rather stable pool of desirable singles (in enjoyable activities). The hectic modern world in practice makes that difficult for many people.
Quote:
Hook up culture exists because of feminism "empowering" women. The media displays getting multiple suitors as "normal" and the club scene out partying all night as "normal" as well. I personally enjoy hook up culture. I agree with men trying to turn party wh*res into housewife's though.
And the chances of actually getting an STD is very low...
Aside from AIDS and maybe one or two other STDs, false. There's a quiet epidemic, possibly more STDs going around than ever in the era of modern medicine.
Hook up culture exists because of feminism "empowering" women. The media displays getting multiple suitors as "normal" and the club scene out partying all night as "normal" as well.
I don't know what media you're tuned into. But just a historical note: hook up culture isn't new. It started in the 60's as part of the hippie scene and the sexual revolution enabled by oral contraception. That was before feminism.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Frayzer;
And the chances of actually getting an STD is very low...
I don't particularly feel like a loser due to difficulties in finding someone I could love. It's hardly my fault. But many young guys likely feel like it is and that they're kicked for being down when complaining.....
Men here get generalized just as much as women do.
.....The advice men get here and elsewhere isn't that good, partly because many of the problems are at a societal level rather than individual.
I often make the analogy between unemployment and dating-difficulties. For persons who are gainfully employed, unemployment is a statistic, a societal problem. Once they lose their jobs, it becomes a personal problem.
This Forum overall has become too rife with vituperative tirades, from all sides - be it angry young men, or their irate female counterparts. Our modern dating problems have less to do with feminism or even with the economy, than with centuries of individualist thinking in the Western intellectual tradition. It's a mixed combination of positives and negatives. Respect for property-rights, due process in criminal law and representative government stem from the same 17th and 18th century ideas that have led to marriage as an adventure in individual fulfillment, as opposed to a contract brokered by our parents.
Advice on this Forum generally boils down to two things: self-improvement (lose weight, dress better, get a better job, save money, advance your education,...) and psychological therapy. To be sure, there's benefit to an obese man losing weight, an uneducated man getting a university degree and so forth. These are all wise things to pursue. But it's false to suppose that there's a causal relationship between self-improvement and improvement of our dating prospects.
So why is there no such causal relationship? Because marriage is no longer a contract brokered based on the "value" of the bride and the groom.
Advice on this Forum generally boils down to two things: self-improvement (lose weight, dress better, get a better job, save money, advance your education,...) and psychological therapy. To be sure, there's benefit to an obese man losing weight, an uneducated man getting a university degree and so forth. These are all wise things to pursue. But it's false to suppose that there's a causal relationship between self-improvement and improvement of our dating prospects.
So why is there no such causal relationship? Because marriage is no longer a contract brokered based on the "value" of the bride and the groom.
Why is it false to suppose that? Self-improvement of one sort or another has been demonstrated to make a big difference for many individuals. It won't resolve the problem for everyone, causes can be unique to some people. But by no means should it be written off.
Why is it false to suppose that? Self-improvement of one sort or another has been demonstrated to make a big difference for many individuals. It won't resolve the problem for everyone, causes can be unique to some people. But by no means should it be written off.
I'm all in favor of self-improvement for its own sake. Lose weight for better health, better self-image, greater mobility and stamina and so forth. Just don't expect that the thinner you, will somehow have superior dating prospects to the former (fatter) you.
OP, you forgot to mention how expensive life has become in general and that has caused some dating difficulties for many people. Money hardships can affect us in a lot of ways for dating. Some examples are -
1) The average age for young adults moving out of the house is rising, with a lot of them coming back home falling on hard times. Most young adults don't have the independent freedom to have sex whenever they want when mommy and daddy is there
2) More people have to work longer hours or have part time jobs to make ends meet, taking away time to date and have relationships
3) Intuition keeps rising, more students in debt. Less money to date.
I am not saying money is causing all the problems, but lack of money makes dating harder. And more people seem to lack money and it will only get worse.
This is mainly due to obesity, prevalence of tattoos, higher rates of severe acne and baldness, just to name a few reasons. It results in more competiton for the limited number of attractive people of both sexes.
(2) Busier, complicated, isolated world.
It's harder to meet people.
(3) Feminism.
Women are outpacing men, but still want men who are more successful than they are.
(4) Hookup culture.
More people are not long-term relationship material due to STDs and the fact that guys eschew promiscuous women as relationship partners.
(5) Messaging.
With text /Facebook/whatever messaging as a primary means of comunication, there is so much gamesmanship, feigning disinterest, misinterpretation, etc.
I'm all in favor of self-improvement for its own sake. Lose weight for better health, better self-image, greater mobility and stamina and so forth. Just don't expect that the thinner you, will somehow have superior dating prospects to the former (fatter) you.
Someone who is quite overweight and loses the weight probably will have tangibly better results, unless he/she has high standards or other major deal-breakers. Other appearance changes also can help. But this isn't the type of website that can do much about that. Somebody might even want to consider an image consultant or cosmetic surgeon for those things. Likewise, if a man (it's probably a man ) has terrible conversation skills, heck, we readers probably would not even know that. There are things people can change about themselves to personally improve their dating prospects, but I doubt the ability of relationship forums to help with much beyond OLD profiles.
This wins most ridiculous post of the day. You think everyone should make their life choices to benefit you?
Do you mean that post he made was serious? I thought it was a joke.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
) has terrible conversation skills, heck, we readers probably would not even know that. There are things people can change about themselves to personally improve their dating prospects, but I doubt the ability of relationship forums to help with much beyond OLD profiles.
