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Although a rare few people say they've had good luck on POF, they said it took tons of weeding through the riff-raff. Most people say it's a cesspool. Before you resort to outright lying (I can see why you'd want to), try a paid site, just to see if things improve. You owe it to yourself.
I was thinking match.com. Maybe I will do that in jan for 6 months.
I have tried to meet people at the grocery store and out and about. My friends have not suggested any single friends so that has not been a lead. Coworkers are not an option at this point either.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck
Well I don't post that my kids have different fathers. I can't change that I have kids.
I have a professional job that most people have degrees to do. I just happen to have years of experience and never got the degree.
And that's fine. But almost everyone I know with a college degree wants another person with a college degree, it's a cultural thing. It has nothing to do with earnings or the job.
And a 30 something good guy generally isn't going to want a ready made family. It also tells me, or would at that age, that the woman made some bad bad decisions. We all, or many of us, make bad decisions around then. I did. But not ones that stay with us for life, other than a dumb tribal tattoo or something.
Another huge red flag re kids: if you mention that the father is not in the kids life and try to promote it as there is no "daddy drama" because of it as a positive... it isn't a positive. It's a flag that you made a really bad choice. I'm older and I'll date, and have dated, women with kids, but if the father isn't in the picture I'm not touching that situation.
And that's fine. But almost everyone I know with a college degree wants another person with a college degree, it's a cultural thing. It has nothing to do with earnings or the job.
And a 30 something good guy generally isn't going to want a ready made family. It also tells me, or would at that age, that the woman made some bad bad decisions. We all, or many of us, make bad decisions around then. I did. But not ones that stay with us for life, other than a dumb tribal tattoo or something.
Another huge red flag re kids: if you mention that the father is not in the kids life and try to promote it as there is no "daddy drama" because of it as a positive... it isn't a positive. It's a flag that you made a really bad choice. I'm older and I'll date, and have dated, women with kids, but if the father isn't in the picture I'm not touching that situation.
I would still be with my second childs father. He left me. I cant control what he chose.
Ironically my first marriage broke up because, he did not love me in a marriage sort of way. It was a loveless marriage. At the time it seemed like a good idea to go out and find love, instead of waiting for him to love me. Should have just stayed with him, but cant go back.
I don't want to have any more kids, so who ever I end up with needs to be ok with not parenting their own children. If they do not already have them.
Good luck. You just narrowed your "choice" down to basically 0%.
No man in the world is going to father another man's child without one for himself. It goes against basic biology and frankly is quite revolting and insulting.
Now you mentioned Match.com. It is true that the choices there are much, much better than POF/OKCupid. Free sites are generally a cesspool of human failure and terrible choices.
But your standards are still way too high. 2 kids, 35 years old, don't want another kid? What kind of self respecting guy would go for that?
You're better off just raising your two kids with love and care and stop worrying about relationships. Seriously, it's unhealthy.
Half are recently separated or divorced, have three kids, irate over paying child support and still fighting for custody and visitation.
Another group is covered in tattoos and piercings. Some live at home and have never had adult responsibilities. Some still are recreational drug users. Like seriously you have not outgrown that yet?
many have still not figured out what they want to do when they grow up so they are still working retail and as cooks in restaurants.
I can agree to that. The 35-45 SINGLE male crowd is bad.
They have the following issues:
a) want a 21 year old cuz they want children. and the younger, the better
b) still work dead end jobs and complain about it but don't take action
c) are still not over their ex
d) still fiddle around not knowing what they want career wise
e) still think they are the best catch and want women out of their league
f) have too many young kids
g) crazy exes that are on their mind
h) completely broke for any reason thats out there, might not even be their fault
i) can't handle their money
j) are drug addicts or recovering
k) refuse to grow up
l) too many weird or bad habits
m) still play video games 24/7
n) can't hold a conversation cuz they are too busy with theid ADD, ADH, ...
o) are not interested in sex
p) are only interested in sex
q) lose interest if it doesn't happen on date 3
r) have too many hobbies to even have time
s) don't realize that buddies are cool, but a gf has priority
t) still have 5 roomies
u) never had a real relationship before and need to be guided
v) still live with mommy
They're not. This is when the guys start getting serious. They've finished undergrad and probably grad school, they've started to become established in their career path, and they're looking to meet other single educated women that are at similar places educationally and in their professional careers to meet and potentially start families with.
Thats what you would think. Been on any OLD in the last two years??
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