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I don't see your going to a hotel as running away....Considering your past reactions have been fear, anxiety, and walking on eggshells, this is a refreshing change! It's kind of "thumbing your nose" at his childish behavior and having a good time with and for yourself rather than going crazy worrying (unnecessarily) that he's leaving you. Please - go and have a good time...hopefully on HIS dime! When you ignore a child having a tantrum - his is just a quiet one - its no longer any fun for him.
This is unfathomable to me. I would just speak to him until he spoke. Is that an option? Use therapeutic communication and just keep asking open ended questions, perhaps?
The marriage is broken or has some serious issues. Seek help of a professional or prepare to separate and strongly consider divorce. This treatment is not healthy.
It sounds as though he knows what buttons to push and he is a great manipulator. This is not healthy, and IMO counseling would be a good idea, for you on your own if he won't do it.
The only thing I can add is that, if you do decide that you want to leave when he gives you the silent treatment, you might want to tell him this during some neutral moment in advance. That way, you have made it clear that you are not abandoning him or the marriage, but also that you have an obligation and the right to take care of yourself.
My husband is bipolar and occasionally during a manic episode he will yell at me and blame me for things that aren't my fault. I told him that I will not abandon him or our marriage, but if I feel he is not being rational, I will walk out of the room and give us both time and space to clear our heads. I have done this several times, and it has worked for me, whereas previously, I didn't want to leave during one of these episodes precisely because of the same concerns you express.
This is what I was going to say, instead of going to a hotel, I would suggest marriage counseling, and if h won't go, go alone. Nothing is going to be solved if you walk out, the problem will persist the next time you <gasp> ask him a question.
How old are the two of you and how long have you been married? Did he act like this before you got married?
Once I gave my spouse the silent treatment, she packed her self a bag, called her friend to drive her 2 hours to an airport, left the state for a week to visit a relative and never called until I had to go to the airport to pick her up . In that scenario I felt I won
That's weird. Why did you feel like you'd won? She didn't stay and take your guff, she left and had a good time for a week. And gave you the silent treatment, too. So how do you figure you won?
IMO, the only way counseling would work is if both parties go. And both work to resolve the issues or work to get to the core of the problem.
True, but if he refuses and the OP goes alone, it could not only give her insight as to why she allows herself to be treated this way, but might give her the confidence to make a difficult decision about her marriage.
That's weird. Why did you feel like you'd won? She didn't stay and take your guff, she left and had a good time for a week. And gave you the silent treatment, too. So how do you figure you won?
Sometimes the silent treament means you have had it with her stuff and a week with out it is nice. It was a needed break for everyone and a chance to reset the relationship emotionaly. Sometimes people in relationships hit below the belt and it's better to say nothing rather than try to one up them. Remember that old saying if you don't have any thing good to say.....
Some counsellors think men who are prone to violence do better by being silent and not escalating a situation.
This works with confrontations with males or females. If communication was easy there would be virtually no divorce. If the op decides to seek therapy the op will have to forget about all the advice on CD. You can't go into a therapist and say my husband is a petulant jerk fix him so I can be happy.
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