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Actually, the lesson should be: don't be a crass jerk to anybody...even if, God forbid, that person doesn't turn into a beautiful swan princess. Because it hurts the person.
It should really be that simple. No future "beautiful princess" payoff required.
Yes...be kind to ALL because you never know when you will need that person. May be in your professional life as well. Let's say you are a bully and the 20 to 30 years down the road, the bullied person become your boss, not a pretty sight.
The bully never expected to meet his bullied again...and even trying to date her, so the odds are not that far out.
Yes, and what that type of guy is missing is that she's still the same person that she was in 8th grade. By which I mean, she still has the same values, probably some of the same quirky, creative personality that lead her to dress unconventionally in Middle School, the same sensitivity, the same smarts or geekiness. It's not just about the outward packaging, there's a whole inner world to be discovered in women. The guy could have enjoyed her personality, wit, creativity, and other positive qualities through their years at school, he didn't have to wait until she morphed into a cute blonde to try to get to know her.
Good of him to give her that apology, though.
People make mistakes often in high school, so I guess lesson learned and earned.
Yes...be kind to ALL because you never know when you will need that person. May be in your professional life as well. Let's say you are a bully and the 20 to 30 years down the road, the bullied person become your boss, not a pretty sight.
You have completely missed the boat dude. If you need some kind of incentive or future payoff not to treat someone like crap then something is wrong with you.
You have completely missed the boat dude. If you need some kind of incentive or future payoff not to treat someone like crap then something is wrong with you.
You beat me to it. My point was that people should be kind to people regardless of the prospect of some future payoff. Rather, people should be kind to people simply because hurting the next person isn't right. If this person had remained an "ugly duckling" (God I hate that term), she still would have been a person who had gotten hurt. Right?
"What's in it for me?" is still seeing the other person as not-quite-a-person.
So she has been in the control of that this many years? Revenege rarely really satisfies or makes up for the years thinking about it and what it does to a person; IMO.A least it seems to have gotten her attention and motivated her to lose. Likely the other party moved on then and this time.
Again, I'm just not seeing from this story that this woman has been sitting around and stewing all these years. He contacted her...not the other way around. She simply saw the opportunity, laughed to herself and responded with her snotty note. I don't see that this woman "hadn't moved on" in the meantime or was even thinking about this person all these years; if she had been, surely she could have exacted some form of "revenge" long before this, no?
The people who bullied me in high school tried to get me to forgive them. I told them go to hell, I have not seen them since. You can't treat people like crap and ask them to forgive you. I don't forgive them and never will.
Haha that dude probably wanted her and she dissed him.
Ha, I had an experience like this! Sort of. It was sort of this story but with a twist. I promise there's a point here...
A boy in my middle- and high school used to torture me because I had big boobs early; then after the other girls started getting boobs too, mine were bigger (heaven forbid). He made a boob-name out of my first name (I don't want to post my first name here...don't believe I have in all these years on CD) and got his two friends in his posse to stand there in the hallway and yell the name at me every time I passed by. He was a squirrely little dude and I always wondered if he was just trying to make himself feel "bigger," or whether he actually liked me and didn't know how to express that. Either way, I considered it VERY mean and wasn't going to give him the time of day. I didn't need to go out with any bully.
At the same time, he knew he was hurting me. How? Because more than once, when he and his "posse" had screamed his "boob" names at me in front of the entire school and they all laughed and I was humiliated, I turned around crying to get to the bathroom, but I know he saw that I was crying. It's guaranteed. Young girls aren't great at holding their emotions in. I RAN for the bathroom each time and I'm sure even that was a tip-off. And I mean this went on for years.
We all graduated high school and everyone went his or her own way. Then a couple of years later I was going into a store and there was this short (actually, I like short!) guy with freckles and the most TREMENDOUSLY built body standing outside, handing out some sort of gym pamphlets to shoppers. This guy was BUILT. He obviously worked out - nobody naturally has a body like that.
Anyway, he stopped me and said "(JerZ)? It's me, (Bully X"). I said, "Holy ----!" It was actually hilarious. I don't know why that just popped out of my mouth. I was THAT surprised that it was the same squirrely little Howdy Doody guy. He was now "a catch."
I smiled and said hello and asked him how he was doing and so on, as is the polite thing to do, and apologized for what I'd said, but he only laughed about that part.
I think he wanted to ask me out, but I made sure to make it brief and continue on my way before he could actually ask me out, which he seemed to be bringing the conversation around to. Why? Because although physically he looked different, from our little conversation it seemed he hadn't suddenly developed non-physical traits I'd liked, so built or not, he still wasn't a guy I was going to want to date. The non-physical had been the point all along: he had a horrible personality back then, and he continued to (apparently) have a horrible personality years later. Maybe I should have given him the chance to prove otherwise, but why? First of all, he never apologized for his horrible behavior. Second of all, I was getting exactly the same vibe as I'd gotten years ago. Pass.
My "revenge," if there was such a thing (I would not have thought of it this way until this thread made me remember it), was that if you treat people horribly, yes, they're going to remember you in that way, no matter how you try to change the outside. I'm sure I didn't break his heart or anything, and I certainly didn't go out of my way to track him down; in fact I hadn't thought of him at all in the intervening years.
But yes. You treat people like dirt, they do remember it...when you come back and put yourself into their line of vision.
Amen. The guys here judging her and dismissing her based on her physical appearance are no better than that 8th grade bully.
Grow up! This is why you get nowhere with women.
Lol, move around with that.
Guess what. I don't find her attractive. And I get everywhere with women.
But still good for her, I guess. She didn't change the fact that she was bullied and the guy seems to have grown up. Maybe she should follow suit.
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