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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,981,862 times
Reputation: 40635
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
Some people need a photog's help in portraying "the real them". There are people whose candid shots simply don't represent them well. Their friends might say, "huh. This doesn't really look like you", or "You look much better in person". In that case, a professional photo would provide a more accurate likeness than a candid shot.
Yes! I often found that, and it is a good thing. It is far better to look better in person than your photos. This is a positive, not a negative. Lots of my female friends use photos that I don't think do them justice. When they're met in person they receive great reactions to that. These woman have found it also weeds out guys that are really looking at just the pics, which is what no one wants.
I met my current ladyfriend IRL, but a month into it she showed me her pics, she is SOOOO much hotter than those pics. I still would have written her though, because her profile oozed cool and fun.
You make a good case as to why NOT to use a professional photo.
Yes! I often found that, and it is a good thing. It is far better to look better in person than your photos. This is a positive, not a negative. Lots of my female friends use photos that I don't think do them justice. When they're met in person they receive great reactions to that. These woman have found it also weeds out guys that are really looking at just the pics, which is what no one wants.
I met my current ladyfriend IRL, but a month into it she showed me her pics, she is SOOOO much hotter than those pics. I still would have written her though, because her profile oozed cool and fun.
You make a good case as to why NOT to use a professional photo.
Some people would never get any attention from OLD without a good pic, though. The OP's photos don't look good at all. If it's true what he says about being good-looking in person (honestly, you'd have your doubts if you saw his photos), then he deserves a chance to show himself to best advantage. Because generally speaking, it is harder for men on OLD, especially in his age group. But at 25, he should probably skip OLD altogether, since at that age, it's so heavily skewed towards women.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,981,862 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound
This OLD thing sounds like a complete nightmare, in theory it should be a good thing, but it seems like it's just a virtual meat market.
It isn't really. These people that say its all about the pics and focus on just the pics are the minority and the people you don't want to meet anyway, so if your profile doesn't attract them you win by not playing,.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
Some people would never get any attention from OLD without a good pic, though. The OP's photos don't look good at all. If it's true what he says about being good-looking in person (honestly, you'd have your doubts if you saw his photos), then he deserves a chance to show himself to best advantage. Because generally speaking, it is harder for men on OLD, especially in his age group. But at 25, he should probably skip OLD altogether, since at that age, it's so heavily skewed towards women.
This is only true if they have a bad pic AND a bad profile. A great profile, if you're a great person, can overcome mediocre pics or bad pics.
It isn't really. These people that say its all about the pics and focus on just the pics are the minority and the people you don't want to meet anyway, so if your profile doesn't attract them you win by not playing,.
This is only true if they have a bad pic AND a bad profile. A great profile, if you're a great person, can overcome mediocre pics or bad pics.
You're probably right. I just read thread after thread talking about pics and how you have to be hot, etc etc. I think in theory OLD would be great, punch in all the filters you want and go from there.... I've never done it so I can't say personally, just anecdotally I've heard more complaints than positives.
You're probably right. I just read thread after thread talking about pics and how you have to be hot, etc etc. I think in theory OLD would be great, punch in all the filters you want and go from there.... I've never done it so I can't say personally, just anecdotally I've heard more complaints than positives.
You were pretty much right the first time----> it's terrible.
Timberline is honestly one of the few guys I've ever heard who had much good to say about it. But I think he's sort of unconventional, or a huge liar.
EDIT: And what I meant by that last statement was, he has such good success and seems to be so upbeat, when dating for most guys just sucks. Let me reiterate that: it really, really sucks. It's like wandering alone in the desert.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,981,862 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheWedge
You were pretty much right the first time----> it's terrible.
Timberline is honestly one of the few guys I've ever heard who had much good to say about it. But I think he's sort of unconventional, or a huge liar.
EDIT: And what I meant by that last statement was, he has such good success and seems to be so upbeat, when dating for most guys just sucks. Let me reiterate that: it really, really sucks. It's like wandering alone in the desert.
You know, most people are in relationships. THe majority of people get married. If you go out, you see couples EVERYWHERE. So obviously the majority of people are having success dating. If you know straight women going out on dates then there is a straight guy on the other side also going out on a date. I have lots of female friends, they're out dating left and right when they want to be, so obviously there are guys out dating left and right with them. This should be common sense, unless you subscribe to that odd notion that a tiny percentage of all guys are doing the vast majority of the dating, which doesn't add up if you are observant socially.
And I don't have "good success". I have, at best, average success. At best.
You know, most people are in relationships. THe majority of people get married. If you go out, you see couples EVERYWHERE. So obviously the majority of people are having success dating. If you know straight women going out on dates then there is a straight guy on the other side also going out on a date. I have lots of female friends, they're out dating left and right when they want to be, so obviously there are guys out dating left and right with them. This should be common sense, unless you subscribe to that odd notion that a tiny percentage of all guys are doing the vast majority of the dating, which doesn't add up if you are observant socially.
And I don't have "good success". I have, at best, average success. At best.
So, what's your point? Asking sincerely and not trying to be a smartass.
And really, your breakdown there, while mostly true, makes me feel like ****.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,981,862 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheWedge
So, what's your point? Asking sincerely and not trying to be a smartass.
And really, your breakdown there, while mostly true, makes me feel like ****.
My point is most people enjoy dating, or at least find relationships. Why do people complain it is hard to find single people? Well, because most people aren't single.
This is largely a choice, I believe. Happiness is a choice to, to a fair degree (I used to think this notion disgusting, honestly, as in I wanted to punch anyone that said it). Dating is about fun. If it isn't approached with the idea of having fun (all a date is is hanging out with a cool person you have, or may have, romantic feelings for and doing something fun).
A lot of that choice is also approaching mentally how you view success. The more rigid your views, the less likely you'll be successful. Just go out and have fun talking to people. The rest happens.
If I had the view that the only thing that would be considered success is finding someone where we enter into a monogamous relationship that lasts a minimum of 15 years or whatever, then of course most dating is going to be unsuccessful. Lighten up on goals, and wants, etc and just have a good time connecting with people and living life.
I'm not speaking specifically to you, but to so many people here that have such rigid notions of what they want, or need to be happy. They don't focus on fun and living life. Its no wonder they're unhappy.
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