Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I imagine those types of attitudes are born from entitlement, bitterness, desperation, and loneliness.
I wish some folks would chill the **** out and stop acting like not getting someone is the end of the world. It must be some sort of illness of the mind if this is truly how they think when it comes to relationships and romance.
I'd rather live alone than be in a bad marriage. It took me 31 years to get out of mine because we have four children together. Even now that I'm out, he still tried to verbally abuse me when I have to be around him (due to the grown children and grandchildren gatherings). I'm about ready to simply say, I can't be there for that gathering if he continues trying to punish me.
She never said everyone should get married. She's saying she wants to, and everyone among her friends and relatives her age has married. An almost sure road to poverty. And guys don't go chasing after the hotties, only to end up divorced, because the wife cheated, or took them to the cleaners in divorce, or was too high-maintenance, or was verbally or emotionally abusive, or was lazy? Then the guys either make the same mistake again, or slink back to the average but kind and sensible women he passed up when he was young, to see if he can talk one of them into giving him a chance.
Most women go for good guys, not abusers, cheaters, alcoholics, or ex-cons. No one intentionally goes for liars, but some find out later their guy's a liar.
Yes, both genders make mistakes, but I responded to the OP after she mentioned she does have guys interested in her, but "she cannot see herself with any of them". It simply reminded me of ladies I know who say similar things. One of them is attracted to guys in uniforms. She is now going through a third divorce, this time from a former special forces Afghan veteran. Interestingly enough, this pattern is repeated again and again.
In general I find women to be attracted to guys that everyone (except the lady herself) sees the problems with. I think men are less prone to these mistakes with marriage. (Usually man have other types of irrational behaviors).
As for having kids while unmarried is "an almost sure road to poverty" - that's not what the OP expressed concerns about: she said she is terrified that her biological time will pass and she will die alone without children...
(I don't recommend children out of wedlock, unless as a solution for someone so anxious).
Those posters who suggested church and church-groups are definitely offering good advice. Such venues offer prospects most condign with the OP's desires, even if she is not devoutly religious. In the South and Midwest, so many of our social connections are through religion. For many of us, this is deeply unfortunate and stifling. But for less zealous detractors, this is a good opportunity, worthy of exploration.
She's already stated on other threads that she's Baptist, the daughter of a Baptist preacher, that religious synchronicity is important to her in relationships, and that she's really only comfortable dating other Baptists.
Just want to get honest opinions..I'll probably regret this question later..I'm 33 and never married. I came close to getting engaged once. I really want to be married as I look at everyone I grew up with, my siblings, and people my age now all married. I have to ask why I'm not? I have my own place, graduated college, no debt, in excellent shape, attractive (but not the prettiest-pic in profile), and personable and sweet personality. I lack a lot of confidence especially now..I have guys that like me, but it's never anyone I can see myself with. I was dating someone about 6 months and he was really into me the first few months then lost interest and kinda disappeared. It hurts to know that I've reached my peak in what I have to offer yet it's still not good enough..I'm scared to death I will have no children and die alone..like a failure at life for not completing the most biological life cycle..it's not a failure if you don't have children, but if you want them with your hearts desire and only in a marriage relationship and can't seem to that is where the feelings of fail come in..How can you feel good about yourself when your the last one..It's like that feeling in elementary school when your last one picked for the kickball team..My question is if I think this about myself is that what others think when they look at me? that nobody wants me?
personally i dont care. if i am interested in you, then your past does not matter to me. i dont care if you have been married ten times, or not at all. i dont even care if you are an ex prostitute, emphasis on EX. i gave up judging people based on their past life long ago as i realized that people change.
all i can say to you is, be yourself, be the person YOU want to be. go about your life and dont worry about finding someone to marry, that will happen when the time is right. i am 56 and have never been, nor have i ever wanted to be, married. i dont think that i am missing anything in life because i live as i want.
I can't imagine anyone thinking anything about you not being good enough, just that you haven't found guys good enough and that's ok. I know it's hard when you really want something and it's not happening for you though but I don't think it's unusual to be unmarried in your 30's. I know people getting married now who are in their mid 30's but I know a ton of single people that age too. Some have had relationships and even lived with someone before but nothing that lasted long term. Some don't even want kids ever. It may be different depending on your social group and whatnot but having a few relationships that didn't lead to marriage seems superior to having a divorce, which is also something I've seen people in their 30's do.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
