What do you think of a woman in her 30's never married? (dating, marriage)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Just want to get honest opinions..I'll probably regret this question later..I'm 33 and never married. I came close to getting engaged once. I really want to be married as I look at everyone I grew up with, my siblings, and people my age now all married. I have to ask why I'm not? I have my own place, graduated college, no debt, in excellent shape, attractive (but not the prettiest-pic in profile), and personable and sweet personality. I lack a lot of confidence especially now..I have guys that like me, but it's never anyone I can see myself with. I was dating someone about 6 months and he was really into me the first few months then lost interest and kinda disappeared. It hurts to know that I've reached my peak in what I have to offer yet it's still not good enough..I'm scared to death I will have no children and die alone..like a failure at life for not completing the most biological life cycle..it's not a failure if you don't have children, but if you want them with your hearts desire and only in a marriage relationship and can't seem to that is where the feelings of fail come in..How can you feel good about yourself when your the last one..It's like that feeling in elementary school when your last one picked for the kickball team..My question is if I think this about myself is that what others think when they look at me? that nobody wants me?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,029,445 times
Reputation: 40635
Well, where I live and most places I've lived, the average age of first marriage is around 30.
I, personally, only have one friend that married before 30. Most married 35-40 of those that got married. They finished grad school and were established in their careers before marrying.
So I would think she's just a normal person. Heck, the 30s is when dating actually starts getting really good.
Your putting too much pressure on yourself based on what others are doing around you.
You are plenty young enough to attract and form a long term relationship with a quality person, build a family, etc. So do not let being 33 and single cause you to think less of yourself. Allowing your confidence to be eroded will only hurt your chances.
Honestly, it sounds like you have a LOT to offer a hard working guy who wants a quality woman to build a family with. It just is not always the easiest thing to find that guy, but depending on how you are looking could be lowering your chances of success too. They are out there.
You're not a freak, a loser, or a failure because you have no children. I think you need to start looking within yourself and decided why you REALLY want the things you desire. Is it because you see other people with those things, because it has been instilled into you to want those things, or is that truly YOUR desire.
You are putting waaaaay too much pressure on yourself and it'll only lead to unnecessary depression. It's not everyone's destiny to do everything other people are doing. You need to stop with the comparisons and start being happy with YOU.
Just want to get honest opinions..I'll probably regret this question later..I'm 33 and never married. I came close to getting engaged once. I really want to be married as I look at everyone I grew up with, my siblings, and people my age now all married. I have to ask why I'm not? I have my own place, graduated college, no debt, in excellent shape, attractive (but not the prettiest-pic in profile), and personable and sweet personality. I lack a lot of confidence especially now..I have guys that like me, but it's never anyone I can see myself with. I was dating someone about 6 months and he was really into me the first few months then lost interest and kinda disappeared. It hurts to know that I've reached my peak in what I have to offer yet it's still not good enough..I'm scared to death I will have no children and die alone..like a failure at life for not completing the most biological life cycle..it's not a failure if you don't have children, but if you want them with your hearts desire and only in a marriage relationship and can't seem to that is where the feelings of fail come in..How can you feel good about yourself when your the last one..It's like that feeling in elementary school when your last one picked for the kickball team..My question is if I think this about myself is that what others think when they look at me? that nobody wants me?
I'm in the same boat, so I understand where you're coming from. My relatives who are married got married before 30 (although some have already divorced and remarried) and pretty much all of them have kids. As a result, I feel like I can't relate much to people who are married with kids because I live a completely different lifestyle. I guess I still hold out some hope that it could happen for me, but I'm prepared to be single forever for the most part. I'm sure some people think women who aren't married by a certain age are defective and others don't really care.
I'm turning 31 in June. I don't want to be in baby boot camp in my 40's or be in my mid-thirties having my very first child, it's too long and too old for a first, for me. But what to do? We can't make anyone love us on a timeline, so we might as well relax and let the chips fall where they may because we never shouldve let time-sensitive needs take a backseat to college and career in the first place. If we truly wanted to get married and have kids before now then we wouldve, but we chose to do whatever we're spending our peak fertile years doing instead - working and sitting in traffic. I detest both when they're forced.
As far as children are concerned, you can always adopt.
Most women prefer the emotional experience of expecting and having biological children with our uterus that's been causing ruckus for nearly 20 years to do just that. Even with adopting, I'd still want a family and not prefer single motherhood. So we'd still be waiting.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
