What do you think of a woman in her 30's never married? (long-term, attracted)
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You're a beautiful woman. Young. I say you should work to be the best you, and believe that what's in store for you is taking longer because it's BETTER.
I don't understand why you're down on yourself. What's the rest of the story?
It does kindof cause a slight panic mode though..If you want children time is ticking..and what a tragedy that you would live your whole life and never get to experience what nearly everyone else does...it's only a tragedy when you desire it...not if you choose you are happy without them.
I had a girlfriend whose clock was ticking, she got married b/c she wanted to experience a child....well, she is not the same woman any longer.....
very unhappy.....
Yanno, if you want a child, there are several ways you can have one, without getting married.... did you know that?
It does kindof cause a slight panic mode though..If you want children time is ticking..and what a tragedy that you would live your whole life and never get to experience what nearly everyone else does...it's only a tragedy when you desire it...not if you choose you are happy without them.
Or if by some chance or fate, one is reproductively challenged like me and it didn't happen
And I don't think anything is wrong with you, YOU think something is wrong with you. Stop thinking and just be YOU. Everything else falls into place.
I have two aunts in their 50's, unmarried and childless completely by choice. Both beautiful women who have had many meaningful relationships. Just never believed in marriage. Guess it ran in the family.
Sure, but this is obviously going to be immaterial to a person who DOES want a future that includes marriage and a family.
OP, I get the idea from your previous posts that you are from a place where it IS looked at askance to be post-twenties and unmarried/not having started a family. There are definitely communities where this is a cultural norm. It was definitely more the norm where I was raised to pursue marriage and family first, career later (if ever), and it was uncommon to flip things around. Because I didn't fit the "marry early" model, and pursued school and career first, that put me at odds with what a lot of people saw as the natural way of things. That was okay...I wasn't going to be somebody I'm not to conform with what other people wanted for themselves. It's pretty clear that you are also wondering if there is something wrong with YOU for being single and not having started a family. There is no right or wrong, there is only what happens, and when it happens is individual. You can't hold yourself to arbitrary rules of thumb. Everyone's experience is different.
I haven't known many women who were married by 33. OP, I urge you not to compare yourself to your friends and family. This is your life and it is not on the same timeline as anyone else's. You have several childbearing years ahead of you.
Anecdotally, I was just married for the first time at 45. Fortunately, I never wanted children, so there was no rush. I do understand the longing for a life partner -- and thinking that may never happen -- but it is worth the wait once you find the right person. You have no way of predicting when that'll be, so relax and keep "doing you." Once of the best things you can be doing is continual self-improvement so you can be sure you're the best partner you can be once the time comes.
My question is if I think this about myself is that what others think when they look at me? that nobody wants me?
Intelligent people will not think that nobody wants you. You can not predict what stupid people think. Since I have dated at least a dozen such mid 30s never married women as yourself, and have my own biased and unique perspective.... You are possibly a woman with unrealistic standards or are unwilling to make compromises. None of the 5 such women I dated that I still know live in my area ever married four plus years later, I don't expect they will ever marry.
Youre putting too much pressure on yourself. I looked at your pic. Youre very pretty. There isnt anything wrong with you. Having accomplished what you did I would consider you successful. But if you dont see yourself with a guy then hes not the right one. Are you loooking for the ideal perfection in a man or willing to accept someone if they truly love you even if they have some faults? I guess im asking if you have some unattainable expectations of a partener?
I had a buddy who did'nt get married til he was 35. Hes 45 now and has 3 kids a loving wife and a crazy dog.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with not having married by age 33. And you have NOT reached your "peak." That's crazy talk. Sounds to me like you've been hanging around these threads WAY too much in the month since you joined CD, and you're internalizing the garbage you see spewed here.
Thirty-three is so young, and you have SO much going for you. STOP the negative thoughts. You simply haven't met the right guy, that's all. But the chances are high that you will. I know it's easier said than done, but believe me, you should enjoy your singledom while you have it and not compare yourself to others. Just live your life as well as you can and continue to be the best person you can be.
Last edited by newdixiegirl; 03-09-2015 at 03:12 PM..
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