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A shelter might not, but there are abused/battered women orgs that can help in getting people away from predators.
Please site the sources for the OP.
One thing that I think I understand more than the average person who has never endured this type of situation is that many looking in will offer up suggestions but really have no idea how their suggestions truly work or can impact the situation, making it worse for the victims.
A man who threatens to hunt down his family will do just that when all else fails. From what her husband sounds like...she would need to go into a witness protection program or change her identity and start life over. None of this is as easy as it sounds.
I take it that you have never met or dealt with a human like her husband.
A shelter is not going to be able to protect them from a well armed predator who will hunt them down.
Well not armed.. but I know the type. I also know how a victim in such a situation thinks... the responses in this thread is classic indicator.
What is being overestimated is the OP's ability to take "strides" towards safety. A victim of domestic abuse cannot process that... they've been conditioned not to. They no longer can make reasonable and rational decisions regarding their own safety.
Picking up the phone, calling the police, to bring more men into the picture... men who are armed.. is not a reasonable in the mind of the victim.
Running and hiding on the run takes an exceedingly complex thought and emotional process. Especially with children. That is not a reasonable thing in the mind of the victim.
Going to a shelter with people who are intimately knowledgeable with the victim's situation is the first easy step to remove themselves from the situation.
Small steps... but big distance...
PS> when I mean shelter I also mean battered women shelters.
I take it that you have never met or dealt with a human like her husband.
A shelter is not going to be able to protect them from a well armed predator who will hunt them down.
There are safe houses for battered women, that are set up specifically for that purpose. They're sort of an underground network. But I don't think the OP is going to take that step.
There are safe houses for battered women, that are set up specifically for that purpose. They're sort of an underground network. But I don't think the OP is going to take that step.
Unfortunately, nothing we say can really give her the strength to take that step. All we can do is wish her the best and assure her that the shelter is a good option.
My wife had an abusive father. Even from mies away the simple act of hanging up the phone when the abuse started was impossible for her. I stood there in awe the first time I saw it.... At some point, I stopped asking and ripped the phone out of her hands to hang up. I could only imagine how bad it must be for women such a bad situation as the OP.
There are safe houses for battered women, that are set up specifically for that purpose. They're sort of an underground network. But I don't think the OP is going to take that step.
Well apparently the OP for whatever reason is not open to the shelter idea. I speculate that she is victimized and conditioned to the point that she believes that she has it better by staying in that situation and thinking that the baby steps are going to bring forth her liberation from this nightmare. However in her latest post it is apparent that she is dealing with a monster who would not hesitate to hunt her down.
The world is a safer place without humans like her husband roaming freely.
I don't think he has the capability to ever become a rational human and let the family go start a new life.
Read her words very carefully:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork
I am just afraid that I will never be safe with him in the world if I took the kids and left.
No one would or could keep him locked up forever.
He would hunt me down. He would not give up. He would believe that his life is disposable if he can get vengeance on me for taking everything away from him. I don't believe I could hide from this. I don't believe I could escape it. A restraining order would not stop him.
And she has no reason to NOT believe what she has written. It rings so close to home for me. We tried to also leave my dad...what did he do? Hunted us down. I never ever dreamed that I would encounter another human under the reins of a man just like my deceased dad. Again read her words carefully and realize the type of monster she is dealing with.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Matadora
One thing that I think I understand more than the average person who has never endured this type of situation is that many looking in will offer up suggestions but really have no idea how their suggestions truly work or can impact the situation, making it worse for the victims.
This is why she should talk to people that DO know what it is like. That is what these resources are for. That is what we are suggesting.
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