Won't date single parents because of growing up in a abnormal family?

[2mares]

Originally Posted by cwa1984

Honestly I post this topic on City Data to see if there are others on here that have been through similar experiences and there views on dating single parents whether they would or not. You don't hear much about those of us that are the product of a blended family so to be honest it's nice to talk to others that have been in a similar situation because it's not something you regularly run across.

I did not come from such a back ground but I was a single parent. My kids father died when they were very young. We married young and made a lot of bad choices. I eventually remarried a childless/never married man. Neither of my children have a problem with dating/marrying single mothers. One son is a single father, the other never married/childless. He is now dating a woman with two kids and has dated several single mothers.

My brother married two single mothers (not at the same time). My nephew, product of divorce, grew up in a blended home, married twice single mothers and has two children of his own now. Anyhow the point is although I don't have first hand experience I know lots of people that married single parents, I know fewer people that came from blended families that went on to marry single parents, but I seen that work well also. So people do it and it works out fine.

Perhaps this is something you could do some actual extensive real research on.
I still think it is not so much the mere fact that people come from single parents to blended families but how those families interact. Dysfunctional is not limited to single parent hhs or blended families or adopted families. You claim dysfunctional is much more prevalent in blended families but I haven't seen any actual studies showing this.

[Mikala43]

Meh. I don't get trying to lump peoplr together. I think it's lazy. I come from a broken home. My late husband (never married, no kids) did not. My current husband is divorced with kids and came from home. Both of our childhoods were extremely dysfunctional.

I've experienced all sides of what the OP talks about and don't see any correlations.

[Burkmere]

Originally Posted by cwa1984

Like I stated earlier if the kids are grown and out of the house I would not be against dating a single mother since the kids are out of the picture and we don't have to do the awkward pretend we are big happy family thing.

Don't let 'em kid you. In the agency I work in, which has 1800 employees, there are many "blended" families..and most, almost all have huge headaches. Two second marriages with adult kids and grandkids you aren't even blood related to, etc.... spouses adult kids not like the new ex. And then there's the parents of each and the ex's....none of this can ever be easy.

I commend those that can deal with all this. What gets me is when they are surprised when there are difficulties and drama. That's about all it can be most of the time in situations like this by definition.

[Faith2187]

I'm a single mom of one and I honestly don't care whether a man finds my situation dysfunctional or not. I grew up in a two parent home in an upper class socio-economic neighborhood and I went on to college, got my bachelors degree, worked for two years, had my own place, took care of myself and I had been in an LTR with my high school sweetheart. When I got pregnant and in the time after I was forced to examine my life in a way I never had before. And when I finally had my son and became a mom I changed and became a better more responsible person. I kicked my hs sweetheart go the curb and with good reason. I've since went on to make better decisions and can readily admit being a single parent is the hardest thing I've ever went through, beyond losing my mom, and escaping my ex's abuse. Yes I am dysfunctional and I have baggage. But it has never stopped me from getting a man or getting attention even when Im out with my son and it's quite obvious Im a single mom. I don't want anyone that feels the way you do to date me. I'm glad you stay away. But from my observations a person can grow up in a normal 2 parent household the same way I did and still find themselves on a path of dysfunction. To me it's just as important to assess the bad decisions one makes as it is that they are able to move on from the bad decision with resiliency and grace.