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just FYI. It is literally impossible to be a halfway decent salesperson without great social skills. The whole job is predicated around making a random stranger feel very comfortable and happy around you in a 20-40 minute period so you have a good chance of a a sale. This is much harder than a bar scene because you have some control over who you talk to a bar - you'll generally gravitate to people who you feel you have things in common with who seem approachable and easy to talk to. In sales? You have no clue what you're getting. You gotta make the weird asian dude fresh off the boat love you and then make the old white woman love you then make the black couple love you. You gotta make them all feel like you're their best friend and you're one of them
There's a reason so many people will tell folks struggling with social skills to get a job in sales because you either learn quick or you drown but the experience is great. I've learned so much in terms of getting along great with different groups of people/different types of personality. I can adjust my personality to make the super rich white family feel like I'm one of them and then I'm talking about hip hop and basketball with the black couple from the south side Chicago. They both feel like I'm their best friend. That's the whole key.
For what it's worth, I close about twice the national average (50% to 25%) because I can make people feel so comfortable around me in 15 minutes
But the people that you are selling things to are coming to you because they are interested in buying something. And being able to change your personality to be able to sell things to all varieties of people isn't really being YOU. And people want to date a real person - not a persona.
the real problem is that women don't make themselves available to me and I find it very hard to overcome the 50,000 obstacles in the way most of the time when I see a female I like
Maybe I'm just not assertive enough? It's just difficult. I hate rejection...the whole process is a pain in the ass for me
Women "don't make themselves available" to you? What would that look like exactly, in your ideal world?
I've gotten compliments from black folks, hispanics, asians and plenty of white people who said I was very handsome
I say you're a niche look, and you counter by saying you're popular with other niche people? What kind of sense does that make? You just confirmed what I was saying. And I was actually trying to be helpful. Yes, I think so. Like I said, not a WASP look, which is the predominant thing in today's America, though that may be changing a little. The predominant thing is still a more-or-less Anglo look, that's just reality. So you could try targeting some niches: the Caucasus community within the Russian community, Italians, Greeks. A LOT of those have the same values as you, too: money, expensive watches & cars, etc. It could be a good fit. Seriously trying to be helpful, here. At least think about it. Chicago's gotta have those sub-cultures.
just FYI. It is literally impossible to be a halfway decent salesperson without great social skills.
Apparently, you've been unsuccessful in extending these amazing skills of yours into a dating life.
Let's recap/regroup.
Thus far, you've shot down every single possible piece of input you've received. Which tells me you're waiting for a very specific answer as to why you're struggling in this arena so much, which in turn tells me that you've already got an idea of what it MUST be in your head, since you have very strong opinions about all the things it couldn't possible be.
According to you, it couldn't be an issue with your looks, your physique, your general bearing, your social skills, your character, your personality, your attitude, your behavior, or anything else.
So What DO you think it is? Is it just that "women be crazy?" or some such? What exactly are you trying to get people to acknowledge with your protests and shirtless selfies?
P.S. I would also think twice about falling back on the preconceived notion that your efficacy with selling things means you should have no problems in this department. Many people actively avoid people who are obviously selling something.
If you approach attracting women like you do selling cars, I think that's a big part of your answer, right there. It obviously doesn't work like that.
But the people that you are selling things to are coming to you because they are interested in buying something.
true but you have to sell yourself to sell a product
ESPECIALLY for my industry because so many people know what they're buying. They come in and most of the time, they know what the **** they want. They're going to buy because you make them feel very comfortable and happy around you. It's not like I'm selling a unique or better product. They can go 500 feet and find the same bullsht at any other place.
there's people in my industry who close 1/3 the clip I do because they can't make customers feel comfortable. It's all about emotions with buying
Maybe I'm just not assertive enough? It's just difficult. I hate rejection...the whole process is a pain in the ass for me
This. You can't hit a home run if you don't even swing the bat, and rack up some strikes. You've been almost pathologically afraid of rejection since you first came here. Rejection isn't a big deal. Get used to it, and keep trying. All rejection means is that you weren't somebody's type. Most people are looking for a type. It's not a judgment on your entire character, or your acceptability as a human being. It's just a simple "no, thank you, I prefer strawberry flavor".
They can go 500 feet and find the same bullsht at any other place.
Not really, since luxury brands typically only have one dealership in the area.
Plenty of people are "one way" at work while being completely different off the clock. It IS a persona, ESPECIALLY in sales.
Do not use your success at work as a frame of reference.
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