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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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It isn't low at all. Not in my neck of the woods. Work, socially, out and about, there are lots of mid 30s - mid 40s (my social range) childfree people, both singles and couples.
In 30+ years of dating, I have only had two partners who wanted kids strongly enough that they now have them.
I like kids, and would have been happy to have them. And I think that's true for several of my ex's. But in my demographic, a person who wants them badly enough to make it happen (and take the hit with career, travel, etc.) is a bit unusual.
I have never chosen a partner based on their future-kid preferences, or asked about this in early dating.
I have, however, been on several dates with guys who were experiencing intense biological clock stuff, and who told me on the first date that they were looking for someone who would be willing to have kids within the first year or two. That was too fast for me, and so I did not accept second dates with those guys. I told them I love kids, but I would want to know a partner better than that before getting pregnant.
And maybe that is significant. Maybe the people with a 'take it slow' attitude towards kids end up together, and mostly end up childfree. And don't reject as partners the rarer people who are intentionally childfree.
This varies greatly by location, at least within the U.S. (Not sure about Australia.) In Chicago I meet tons of child-free people in their 30's and 40's. It's less common in suburban areas (where many former urban-dwellers move when they have kids) and even less common than that in rural areas.
I rarely meet CFBC people in general in normal situations, so finding a man that way is hard. And I lived in SoCal. Two relationships I had where I met them IRL, one was a friend the other a coworker. The rest I have met online.
In 30+ years of dating, I have only had two partners who wanted kids strongly enough that they now have them.
I like kids, and would have been happy to have them. And I think that's true for several of my ex's. But in my demographic, a person who wants them badly enough to make it happen (and take the hit with career, travel, etc.) is a bit unusual.
I have never chosen a partner based on their future-kid preferences, or asked about this in early dating.
I have, however, been on several dates with guys who were experiencing intense biological clock stuff, and who told me on the first date that they were looking for someone who would be willing to have kids within the first year or two. That was too fast for me, and so I did not accept second dates with those guys. I told them I love kids, but I would want to know a partner better than that before getting pregnant.
And maybe that is significant. Maybe the people with a 'take it slow' attitude towards kids end up together, and mostly end up childfree. And don't reject as partners the rarer people who are intentionally childfree.
A lot of this sounds like my experiences. I have dated all kinds of men, including those who had kids and wanted more or didn't want more, men who wanted kids, men who didn't and men who were mixed (as in if it happens okay but if not okay). My experience has been I work the best with men who like kids, don't have them and would be fine being a dad or not either way. I feel this way, after going from never wanting kids to wanting them to being fine either way.
Indeed it varies greatly by location. I work in a field that attracts socially-conservative people. Nearly all have traditional marriages with 2-3 kids. This the professionals, the middle or upper-middle class. Amongst the so-called "blue collar", most have children seemingly by accident, becoming parents in their teens or early 20s.
The childless, which is to say those who have not yet found a partner with whom to reproduce, or those who for whom reproduction would be difficult for medical reasons, are encountered from time to time. Most of them met by the usual means (through introductions or group membership).
The genuinely child-free, which is to say those who harbor firm convictions opposed to reproduction, are very rare. Essentially the only venue for such persons to meet is online. There are child-free meetup.com groups, but my experience has been that these aren’t suitable venues for dating.
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