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I've had three dates in five plus years off online dating. How is that even remotely a good average?
I do all of that: I'm educated. I have a good career. I'm articulate. I stand out from the crowd.
I'm not sure what non-creepy REALLY means... but I don't get sexual before meeting and getting to know someone if that's what you're getting at.
Why do 99.9% of my messages get ignored, and no one ever messages me then?
Quality is more important than quantity.
No offense, but I'd think you'd look more handsome with shorter hair. I don't know if it's just the camera angle casting unflattering shadows, but your photo makes you look like you have a little second chin? Maybe lose some weight? Physical attraction is important to women too.
What are your "deal breakers"? Are you willing to date smokers? Single moms? Do you have/want kids?
Keep in mind that dating is easier for women in general and online dating is dominated by men.
Last edited by StabbyAbby; 12-24-2013 at 06:45 PM..
No offense, but I'd think you'd look more handsome with shorter hair. Physical attraction is important to women too.
That's how I roll, and I'm confident and comfortable with it. Being myself and STANDING OUT, as people will say is important, is who I am. That should be sexier than placating everyone by appeasing and having no self-confidence in who you are.
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I don't know if it's just the camera angle casting unflattering shadows, but your photo makes you look like you have a little second chin? Maybe lose some weight
It's the angle. I'm 5'10" and 155. I'm pretty lean.
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What are your "deal breakers"? Are you willing to date smokers? Single moms? Do you have/want kids?
That's how I roll, and I'm confident and comfortable with it. Being myself and STANDING OUT, as people will say is important, is who I am. That should be sexier than placating everyone by appeasing and having no self-confidence in who you are.
It's the angle. I'm 5'10" and 155. I'm pretty lean.
Read the thread title and guess.
It was just a friendly suggestion. Take it or leave it, I don't care much.
You're just going to have to accept the fact that it's harder for childfree people to date and keep searching. Childfree women are usually university-educated, animal-lovers, white, liberal, nerdy...look for those qualities in women.
It was just a friendly suggestion. Take it or leave it, I don't care much.
You're just going to have to accept the fact that it's harder for childfree people to date and keep searching. Childfree women are usually university-educated, animal-lovers, white, liberal, nerdy...look for those qualities in women.
For sure. I'm cool with that. I've been on forums where childfree women made the same complaints about finding men. That's what this thread is about. I do believe difficult and impossible ate two very different things, though. There's a lot if areas where I'm more flexible than a lot if people. Race, physique, age, and whatnot. You give and take where you can.
That doesn't change the fact that online dating has treated me like a hiddious piece of garbage despite my many good qualities. No one I know would rate me so poorly. I still assert that the medium is a crap way to meet women.
Current girl I'm seeing I meet on a mountain walk. Group of us went, she is a co-worker of one of the guys who was on the walk. Wouldn't even say we really hit it off on the walk itself. I got in touch a few weeks later.
Current girl I'm seeing I meet on a mountain walk. Group of us went, she is a co-worker of one of the guys who was on the walk. Wouldn't even say we really hit it off on the walk itself. I got in touch a few weeks later.
So, you're saying the mountains are full of childfree women?
You just have to cast a wide net. I found over the years that no matter what interest, hobby, group etc there was always one or two people who were dedicated CF people. One of the best CF friends I ever had who sadly passed away a few years ago from Cancer was a woman I met in an acting class. She had and I found a CF group of people we didn't know existed in our city consisting of men and women. We weren't looking for one but she happened to stumble upon it on the Internet.
In that same acting class I met a man who was about ten years older than I who had almost grown children from a prior marriage. He was looking for a relationship that definitely did not include more kids. We were a couple for a couple of years. That's another option I found. As I got older, I found it easier to meet men who were not interested in creating a family because they already had one. The older their kids, the better for me because they weren't looking for another mother for them. I always made it clear that if they were divorced and there was a mom in the picture I was not interested in being mom number two. They accepted that with no problem. I also wasn't looking to remarry after my divorce to that was also understood.
I am talking back in the 70's throughout the 90's. I think as time goes by it actually gets easier because people are now more comfortable about talking about wanting to be child free. I wouldn't discount social events. Everything is a potential possibility. You just have to put yourself out there.
Really like your advice as it's very sensible and helpful! Just had to put that out there.
As for myself, I found many times that with certain guys I'd meet, no matter how many times I told them I wasn't interested in having children or taking care of theirs, somehow thought they could convince me to change my mind. Very frustrating to deal with!
Last edited by Tantamount; 12-25-2013 at 06:47 PM..
Really like your advice as it's very sensible and helpful! Just had to put that out there.
As for myself, I found many times that with certain guys I'd meet, no matter how many times I told them I wasn't interested in having children or taking care of theirs, somehow thought they could convince me to change my mind. Very frustrating to deal with!
Why don't you just lie and tell them you're sterile? It'll weed out idiots who think they can change your mind.
Why don't you just lie and tell them you're sterile? It'll weed out idiots who think they can change your mind.
Ha Ha!
Yeah, I did actually think about telling guys that! Problem is I'm not comfortable lying to people and would rather tell the truth, but I guess the truth hurts?
I used to be a member of a CF couple until recently -- we met online. Like the vast majority of CF men I met -- either online, by chance or through friends -- he ddoesn't want to get married, live together, or commit to any kind of a future with a woman. He basically wants to grow old and die alone and partake of a little human interaction when it's convenient for him.
I have found this to be the general rule for older CF men (40 +) compared to other demographics, e.g., single dads, men who can't have children for one reason or another (sterility), and even childless and CF women. They tend to have a coldness, put a lot of distance between themselves and the rest of humanity. Or, they're so inflexible and self-absorbed, it's insanely ridiculous.
I want to stress that not ALL CF men are like this. But as a general rule, they err on the side of navel-gazing.
It's like childed men, really -- most of the good CF guys are already taken, and when they find someone they want to devote their lives to, it's rare that you see one divorce. Me, I'm expanding my dating pool to include single dads and men who cannot have their own biological children and/or who are too old to adopt. I'm not wild about the idea of being a stepmother, but I am even less thrilled about trying to convince some CF guy -- yet again -- to let me be a part of his life in some meaningful, permanent way.
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Being myself and STANDING OUT, as people will say is important, is who I am. That should be sexier than placating everyone by appeasing and having no self-confidence in who you are. 
