Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Beyond the recent threads on the exact same question, there are literally 100's, if not 1000's of books on the exact same question.
That said, sex rarely enters into the equation for Married or long term partners (more than a couple of rocky years), to stray. I'm not talking about a BF or GF of several months or even a year or two. That's just moving on to the next thing.
I think the root of cheating is being self centered and selfish. I say this because things like being bored, hormones, not meeting needs, breakdowns in communication, etc, etc, etc, happen to a lot of people... most of us in fact at some point in relationships. Things aren't always peachy. But even though these things happen to most people, most people don't cheat. Something holds them back. I think that something is empathy and the ability to think about the other people in your life.
To be a cheater and to cheat instead of working through the problems or letting your partner go is basically a way of having your cake and eating it too. You are only thinking about yourself. Not your partner (you would work with them or let them go if you cared about their feelings) and not the person you are cheating on them with (you are treating them as some kind of backup to suit your needs and not making them a priory because you still have your original partner). So it's selfishness that leads to cheating.
I think deep down we all know this. Ask anyone would you date someone with a history of cheating? Probably not. Why? Because you know they only think about themselves and won't consider you or your feelings at all. They might cheat on you.
I think people do it to just fulfill a need. There is a difference between cheating and having an affair and cheating just filling that desire that you would never get with your current partner, has nothing to do with emotion. I have sexual desires that will never happen with my wife. I could always cheat, doesn't mean I love her any less or want a divorce, just want to fill that need. Am I going to..no, but that's why people do it. If you don't need a relationship to have sex than I think its many peoples justification to have sex with others as there is no emotional tie, at that point though its no different than sneaking a cigarette behind the garage because your significant other wont let you smoke.
A lot of people don't even know where homosexuality or fetishes come from. Don't expect people to understand were infidelity or cheating to come from. Many people simply have a linear line of thinking in that whatever they experience or know is the standard.
How many times do you hear the "failing marriage" argument. No, that is your failing argument or what you hear others say. People are really clueless. They don't think big picture. It's like why do people smoke weed? drink alcohol? Over eat? Do all this knowing it is hurting their family members but the love is still there.
BUT, cheating! In everyone's mind, it is different because we want everything to be separated into their own box so we can classify them but in reality, it all comes from the same place.
Women: lack of attention, being put down, and not respected as a worthy person can cause women to be unfaithful, when their loyalty is no longer limiting and/or it can cause them not to want to have sex with their partner.
Men: same as above + testosterone.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
