Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
What contest, unless you're trying to start one with the "this happens more than that" comparison? I'm sure there are plenty of scenarios like you describe as well. Nobody brought it up, so it wasn't addressed. Had someone else made this post, I'd argue that it happens as well, and that it isn't negligible either.
Actually is was indirectly brought up in bringing up the topic that SAHMs lay around eating potato chips and watching Oprah.
Quote:
Its not about being a SAHM or not, its about raising another mans spawn. Men want their time, efforts and resources to go toward raising their own offspring, not some guys who got to hit it first. Not to mention, there is no way in hell, laying around on the couch, eating potato chips and watching oprah all day is more difficult than working a regular job. That's crazy talk.
and seconded
Quote:
That is grossly incorrect. I wouldn't call it a majority or anything, but it ABSOLUTELY happens.
Just saying so what if it occasionally happens. What point is being made as there are just as numerous the opposite scenario.
Actually is was indirectly brought up in bringing up the topic that SAHMs lay around eating potato chips and watching Oprah.
and seconded
Those first two are simply a perception of why the posters viewed work as harder than staying home, not a comparison between how many SAHP's work hard vs not working hard. You can debate whether you feel they're right or not, but it's not an argument over frequency.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares
Just saying, "so what if it occasionally happens?". What point is being made if your scenario is just as numerous the opposite scenario?
I'm not entirely certain what you're saying here. I added some punctuation/wording to clarify what I THINK you're saying and I'll respond to that. If I interpreted wrong, I need you to clarify.
My point in clarifying that it happens occasionally is that it's not worth discounting. If something is "negligible", it happens so infrequently that it's not worth considering. I happen to disagree with you that that's the case.
You seemed intent to justify it by suggesting that men are equally lazy, but it's not a matter of issuing blame...that's a knee-jerk reaction that people feel when they get offended ("Yeah, well XYZ does it too!"). Some people feel that staying home with children is easy. Some others feel that SAHM's make it easy by doing very little. If you feel that that's ok because some men do it too, then that's your opinion, but that wasn't why I popped in to contribute so if that's the case, you're talking to the wrong person
I have no doubt this is the way YOU feel but I know many, many men (and women) who have married single parents and had absolutely no qualms about becoming a family unit with their spouses child and helping to raise them as their own. In fact I have seen those bonds as strong or stronger than with a biological child.
What do men who think as yourself feel about their own offspring. In the event you should perish and leave behind young children do you prefer they be raised by just their mother and never have another father figure to love and guide them thru life or that you wife would have to bear this burden alone. And what if you both should die. If everyone thought of children as you it would be sad the number of feral, parent-less children that would be roaming the streets.
The real issue isn't fathers "perishing" from their children lives, but rather feminist powered frivorce, where women cash in by separating children form their fathers, on many occasions permanently and unfairly. So to answer your question, I would rather be with a woman who hasnt been brainwashed by feminism and the rampant misandry.
I don't know how being a stay at home babysitter in 2015 with modern technology can be SO DIFFICULT unless you have 15 kids you are watching?
Today's workforce has gotten a lot tougher, with higher requirements of productivity but lower wages or wages that don't move.
It's hard as hell to support an entire family today on one salary, so if you have a guy that's doing that while you "stay at home all day on Facebook" you should be grateful
That is grossly incorrect. I wouldn't call it a majority or anything, but it ABSOLUTELY happens.
Well, sure it happens. Lazy people at work (including men) who bring a lousy attitude every day, gossip, complain, eat potato chips and get fat, and do as little work as possible also ABSOLUTELY happens.
Last edited by newdixiegirl; 10-15-2015 at 09:11 AM..
The real issue isn't fathers "perishing" from their children lives, but rather feminist powered frivorce, where women cash in by separating children form their fathers, on many occasions permanently and unfairly. So to answer your question, I would rather be with a woman who hasnt been brainwashed by feminism and the rampant misandry.
*yawn*
What's your experience of divorce with kids? I could tell you mine, and it doesn't fit your waaaay-overused narrative. You don't know WHAT you're talking about.
Last edited by newdixiegirl; 10-15-2015 at 09:11 AM..
A girl is to do whatever works for her, her partner, and her family, without being concerned about what others think.
That said, I see a lot of reflection of your post echoed in this thread by other people as well. Some people will think that it's not really work. Meanwhile, some people will argue that it's the hardest job ever. Ultimately, if you're trying to convince someone of the merit of what you do, you're the one that loses. Because it would show, among other things, that you're more concerned with what others think of you than about doing what's right for yourself. We all do it a little, but one of those "easier said than done" routes to happiness is taking comfort in knowing that what we do is right for us.
And doing what worked for me and my family is precisely what I did. For the most part, I wasn't concerned about what others thought. Had I been, I would not have returned to work (part-time!). I march to the beat of my own drummer and always have.
But I would be lying if I said that what some people said to me never stung. I don't expect people who don't have kids to understand this, particularly men, but the fact is that, emotionally, and to a certain extent, culturally, motherhood is the great equalizer among women. In other words, once a woman becomes a mother, it matters not how well educated she is, what her socioeconomic background is, how strong and independently-minded she is, how determined and focused, or how caring: how she views herself as a mother matters most of all. This is the common denominator of all mothers.
Now, granted, perhaps some women manage to keep mothering insecurities at bay better than others. But women put so much pressure on themselves - and each other - as mothers, that to feel that one is depriving her children, in any way, of the "best" mother, can make even the most confident of women feel "less than."
If follows, then, that the most effective way to insult a woman or to make her feel bad about herself - IF she's a mother - is to criticize her "proper" nurturing abilities and level of commitment to that "natural" feminine role. And, I might add, it's usually other women who eagerly participate in this mother-shaming. They'll go for the jugular. It's very common. Heck, go into the Parenting sub-forum, and you'll quickly see that mother-shaming is rife there. It sickens me. That's why I rarely go into the Parenting threads.
Last edited by newdixiegirl; 10-15-2015 at 09:21 AM..
It makes me wonder about the men/women who are married to this minuscule, negligible percent of SAHM/D that do this. Why would anyone agree to be the sole breadwinner while their mate sat around all day on the couch watching TV and eating potato chips while the kids ran around wild wearing dirty clothes, if they wore any at all, in a filthy house and went hungry.
Yes, I am sure this happens. There are also marriages where the woman works two jobs while the husband spends his time doing nothing at all. No job, no childcare, no housework, nothing. That's their business.
That's nothing new. Laziness and being a deadbeat are not gender specific.
I don't know any Peg Bundy style SAHM's or SAHD's. Yes, there are men who stay home to take care of their families. It's not very prevalent, but. It happens. I know several. It's what works for their families.
Last edited by Meyerland; 10-15-2015 at 09:30 AM..
Heck, go into the Parenting sub-forum, and mother-shaming is rife there. It sickens me. That's why I rarely go into the Parenting threads.
Every forum I've ever read that's dedicated to parenting is full of self-righteous jerks who shame all parents. Mother-shaming is definitely a thing and it's tragic to me that mothers are so judgmental of other parents.
Father-shaming is also a thing and the entire sector of pregnancy, birth, babies, and parenting are extremely anti-father. Moms aren't the only ones getting attacked. Stay at home fathers often have stories about being discriminated against and disrespected by other stay at home parents as well.
When it comes to stay at home parenting, listening to what anyone has to say about anything (other than your spouse) is a lose-lose situation. Fellow parents love to shame mothers out of being a SAHM, and then turn around and shame other mothers for going back to work. If your family has a stay at home dad, the mother-shamers are quick to call him a deadbeat.
Seriously people, you've got to tune out all the nonsense that goes on about stay at home parenting and focus on what's best for you and your family. I, for one, think having the choice to have a stay at home parent is extremely important and increasingly scarce.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
