I got divorced a few months ago and i found out that my ex wife is already engaged to her ex boyfriend? (long-term, men)
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I guess it's because I've never been the type to move from one guy to the next. To me, the ending of a 7 year marriage would result in healing and introspection for quite a while.
I seem to be in the minority.
They don't call them rebound relationships for no reason.
I guess it's because I've never been the type to move from one guy to the next. To me, the ending of a 7 year marriage would result in healing and introspection for quite a while.
I seem to be in the minority.
For me, its not about how quickly one can move from one relationship to another, it is about giving everyone the benefit of doubt and using reason to discuss such topics.
They don't call them rebound relationships for no reason.
Yeah, my ex got married and divorced within the 2 years of our breakup. I thought the whole thing quite odd.
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OP didn't mention how much time lapsed between the separation-divorce and divorce-engagement.
In CA, the fastest you can get divorced is 6 months - from initial filing to divorce decree -- most take 1+ year to finalize even if everything is amicable.
So I don't know about it being highly probable that the wife cheated during the marriage (separation time not included).
Other states it's more, but other states it's much less, especially if you don't have kids. Some states don't require any legal kind of separation. Some states have a minimum time you have to wait between the dissolution of one marriage and the start of another. Others don't.
We'll probably never know. OP appears to be a drive-by thus far.
They don't call them rebound relationships for no reason.
That was my other guess. One helluva rebound.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43
Yeah, my ex got married and divorced within the 2 years of our breakup. I thought the whole thing quite odd.
Married AND divorced? Sounds like an epic rebound. Pretty sure the ball is going to drop on an ex-BF of mine. He's one of those people who can't be alone for any stretch of time, and he's gotten himself into one heck of a situation with a shotgun wedding and marriage.
Other states it's more, but other states it's much less, especially if you don't have kids. Some states don't require any legal kind of separation. Some states have a minimum time you have to wait between the dissolution of one marriage and the start of another. Others don't.
We'll probably never know. OP appears to be a drive-by thus far.
Yep, that's why I mention my state specifically.
But the point is that, with only the info provided in the OP, it's not more probable that the ex-wife cheated.
IMO, the poster is hurting at how quickly the ex-wife has moved on rather than questioning her fidelity.
From personal experience and observations, many women keep a plan B type of guy In the wings, and at times plan C and plan D. Recently there was a survey where, 50% of women in LTRs admitted to having a plan B guy, just in case things end up falling apart in their current relationships. Men are often amazed at how quickly women move on. You wake up one day and all of a sudden you mean nothing to her and she treats you worse than a piece of dirt. I don't really blame them for it, its womans nature. Men and women are very different when it comes to out sexual strategies and imperatives. Briffaults law will givive you a little more insight into it.
From personal experience and observations, many women keep a plan B type of guy In the wings, and at times plan C and plan D. Recently there was a survey where, 50% of women in LTRs admitted to having a plan B guy, just in case things end up falling apart in their current relationships. Men are often amazed at how quickly women move on. You wake up one day and all of a sudden you mean nothing to her and she treats you worse than a piece of dirt. I don't really blame them for it, its womans nature. Men and women are very different when it comes to out sexual strategies and imperatives. Briffaults law will givive you a little more insight into it.
But I thought guys were purely physical while women were the emotional wrecks? Have I been lied to?
Men are often amazed at how quickly women move on.
There was another thread (and link included) that also stated that men take an ending of a relationship a lot harder. Which does coincide with this thread and your post. So relatively.. I can see how women can move on quicker (they have better social support in place for one reason)
In High School I was chosen as #2 and over night dropped when she went back to #1.
As for the OP he was #2 for 7 yrs while #1 was still on her mind the whole time.
Shame it was for so long as he could have done a lot better with a different woman.
As for me I learned a valuable lesson that has lasted me for decades.
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