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Yeah I'm still here we just are just working today. I tried reading everything and it took me a little while bc I am on my phone
When we first got together we were CRAZY in love and the was not like anyone I had ever met BC like alot of you say he actually has dreams and goals. But he has lied to me. Like he said I wouldn't have to work and that he was just going to sell ice cream so the truck wouldn't be year round. He said he wanted a family just as much as I did but we haven't even started trying and our place is a 2 bedroom but the second one is being used for an office w/ no plans for that to change :/ we were supposed to get a dog but now he says we can't have onebc no one is at home to take care of it. The hours are that we wake up at 4 am and leave the house by 4:30. Back when it was just ice cream it was longer BC he had to mix the stuff and we had to carry the milk and some of that stuff weighs a ton and is hard to carry. Then we had certain places he had to be BC with his truck he actually has aset schedule so that customers can find him and they look on fb to see where he is. So even when it's slow we have to be here.
We get into fights and all he does is tell me what to do. I try to just do what he says but I miss my friends I never get to see them I literally don't. And they got me through really hard and bad times so I miss them. I'm not lazy but I wasn't planning on working BC I thought we were going to focus on starting a family and he acted Like he wanted the same things. I actually eventually want to be a dog groomer or work at an animal shelter.
Sorry I am in my phone I'm still reading what you have all said thank you for your help!
How can you do that if he does not have a stable way to support the home and family.
Why don't you continue to help him so it can become a stable business sooner and then you can have your dream of staying home and starting a family?
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She is helping and HAS been helping. Why would you be frustrated with someone for not helping - who HAS been helping
I would be frustrated from someone that was helping but whining about it the whole time and trying to QUIT helping.
Quote:
Originally Posted by monumentus
Yes exactly my point. So from concept to actualisation - that is 4 years. And now it has been one year since actualisation to "successful". That is exactly what I said - and exactly what I was quoting and referring to.
She didn't claim to have anything to do with those 4 years of him working in fast food places to learn the business. This has not been "their" business for 4 years. And "successful" is her characterization, which I bet is based on seeing lots of people buying food from the truck rather than accounting ledgers. Businesses, especially in the early years, canappear to be quite popular and have good revenues while still being heavily into debt and not profitable.
Give this a chance. You both likely stressed and exhausted. The upside is your husband has ambition and a work ethic.
Food is hard business. Marriage is hard business. Working together and living together 24 hrs a day is tricky. You are newly married and that's tricky.
You need get the time to calmly rationally talk this through. You might need a counselor to help you both communicate rationally. You both need to be together on "the plan".
There are many ways to do this. You could agree to work the food truck for x months & then he can get a paid helper and you can get a paid job somewhere else. Or maybe the food biz is going to be hugely financially rewarding and you'd be dumb to quit. Or it'd be smarter for you to have job elsewhere in case food truck biz tanks. But if you work elsewhere, you will not see much of your new husband because he will be working long hours on foodtruck.
You could right now start applying for college & plan to go next fall. You probably will qualify for financial aid. You'll need education and training to have a good job. Even dog groomers need business degrees/training. You could get education in business to help food truck biz... point is you both need be partners in the plan. And you both need respect the other.
If you just want a few days off here and their becuase the work stresses you out talk and arrange a proper working schedule and work towards getting the business in a place where you guys afford to pay an employee.
take a paying job yourself outside of the truck so you have sufficient income coming in and start working towards future goals.
If you want to avoid all work while everyone else does the lifting for you so you can't focus on your wants, needs and desires....I don't have any advice.
Welcome to the real world, you have to work so you CAN have those things.
Last edited by rego00123; 11-12-2015 at 12:28 PM..
Yeah I'm still here we just are just working today. I tried reading everything and it took me a little while bc I am on my phone
When we first got together we were CRAZY in love and the was not like anyone I had ever met BC like alot of you say he actually has dreams and goals. But he has lied to me. Like he said I wouldn't have to work and that he was just going to sell ice cream so the truck wouldn't be year round. He said he wanted a family just as much as I did but we haven't even started trying and our place is a 2 bedroom but the second one is being used for an office w/ no plans for that to change :/ we were supposed to get a dog but now he says we can't have onebc no one is at home to take care of it. The hours are that we wake up at 4 am and leave the house by 4:30. Back when it was just ice cream it was longer BC he had to mix the stuff and we had to carry the milk and some of that stuff weighs a ton and is hard to carry. Then we had certain places he had to be BC with his truck he actually has aset schedule so that customers can find him and they look on fb to see where he is. So even when it's slow we have to be here.
We get into fights and all he does is tell me what to do. I try to just do what he says but I miss my friends I never get to see them I literally don't. And they got me through really hard and bad times so I miss them. I'm not lazy but I wasn't planning on working BC I thought we were going to focus on starting a family and he acted Like he wanted the same things. I actually eventually want to be a dog groomer or work at an animal shelter.
Sorry I am in my phone I'm still reading what you have all said thank you for your help!
You sound young. Give it some time with the baby. Take care of the new business first, make some money, get it to work and THEN focus on having children.
Plans change, I am sorry you feel fooled because he didn't hold his promises. But you have to be strong now and a good wife and support him as good as you can, it won't be like this forever.
Honestly, dog groomer and shelter are not quite big career dreams, you can easily put them off a few years and help you husband grow his business, so he earns enough to hire somebody.
...Like he said I wouldn't have to work and that he was just going to sell ice cream so the truck wouldn't be year round. ... I'm not lazy but I wasn't planning on working BC I thought we were going to focus on starting a family.
Trying on one or a few occasions to stay at home is not the same as wishing to do so as a life choice or career choice or ongoing matter. Again you are merely assuming that part. It really depends on what she is doing when she is at home - and what she is hoping to do long term. None of which is information we have.
And YOU are assuming that she is putting her life on hold for him, when she never stated any plans for herself, at all.
You are assuming that she has better things or more productive things to do at home than what we all assume that she just wants to be lazy.
You assume that she have other better things to do with her self, except now she has to help her husband. I don't know how other people's marriage dynamics is like, but to me, my husband's success is our success. If I have to put something on hold so he can advance (which I will be doing next year), it's a mutual decision and we go from there. To me, that's how marriage or any partnership works. You help each other reach each other's dreams and goals. Since helping her husband is not her cup of tea ...anymore ...then what else did she intend to do with her time?
...be at home (doing non-tiring activity, since the issue is she's getting tired of working) and spend more time with her friends (because she doesn't see them as much any more)...
Those are not assumptions. Those are direct statements from her post.
Or did you only read certain parts of her posts?
You are assuming just as much as we are, but on the other side of the spectrum.
Save this post because five years from now, when you are tired of being an unpaid worker whose entire life revolves around her husband's business and decisions and decide to divorce him, you get half the business since you helped build it.
Also, if your name is not on any of the business papers, it should be. That includes ownership of the truck. If you are working at it just as hard as he is, it should be half yours, too.
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