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He had to care enough to bring me to work events or around his friends. Just because I am (in other people's words, just being honest) smart and successful and beautiful and "the total package"- one of his friends when meeting me said to him, "u know she's too good for you right?!"- doesn't mean he would've stayed with me just to show me off. I mean he let me move in with him (although he lied about putting my name on lease) . He would occasionally spend time w my family (although both my parents separately said "he was so cold and emotionless towards us" and my mom said "he was like poking fun of your job acting like it was beneath his" and my coworkers at work feel he's done the same around them too). But everyone has flaws. It's not like he was always an a-hole! He just came from a poor 3rd world country and says "I learned at a young age the world is an ugly
Place and love does not conquer all." So that's why I need advice on being patient and showing him I'll love him anyhow
Just because, you know what nevermind. If you want the guy back then go find him and beg him to take you back and promise to do whatever he wants you to just to get him back and voluntarily continue to be treated as you have been by him already.
He had to care enough to bring me to work events or around his friends. Just because I am (in other people's words, just being honest) smart and successful and beautiful and "the total package"- one of his friends when meeting me said to him, "u know she's too good for you right?!"- doesn't mean he would've stayed with me just to show me off. I mean he let me move in with him (although he lied about putting my name on lease) . He would occasionally spend time w my family (although both my parents separately said "he was so cold and emotionless towards us" and my mom said "he was like poking fun of your job acting like it was beneath his" and my coworkers at work feel he's done the same around them too). But everyone has flaws. It's not like he was always an a-hole! He just came from a poor 3rd world country and says "I learned at a young age the world is an ugly
Place and love does not conquer all." So that's why I need advice on being patient and showing him I'll love him anyhow
Please read your own post. There are more than enough red flags but it sounds like you are in denial.
There are people who believe they can change people. I'm not one of them. Good luck with your decision.
He had to care enough to bring me to work events or around his friends. Just because I am (in other people's words, just being honest) smart and successful and beautiful and "the total package"- one of his friends when meeting me said to him, "u know she's too good for you right?!"- doesn't mean he would've stayed with me just to show me off. I mean he let me move in with him (although he lied about putting my name on lease) . He would occasionally spend time w my family (although both my parents separately said "he was so cold and emotionless towards us" and my mom said "he was like poking fun of your job acting like it was beneath his" and my coworkers at work feel he's done the same around them too). But everyone has flaws. It's not like he was always an a-hole! He just came from a poor 3rd world country and says "I learned at a young age the world is an ugly
Place and love does not conquer all." So that's why I need advice on being patient and showing him I'll love him anyhow
Why? Why not just date a man who is not cold, emotionless, deceitful, and a cheater?
Being proud that you are smart, successful, and beautiful is not the same as loving you.
He had to care enough to bring me to work events or around his friends. Just because I am (in other people's words, just being honest) smart and successful and beautiful and "the total package"- one of his friends when meeting me said to him, "u know she's too good for you right?!"- doesn't mean he would've stayed with me just to show me off. I mean he let me move in with him (although he lied about putting my name on lease) . He would occasionally spend time w my family (although both my parents separately said "he was so cold and emotionless towards us" and my mom said "he was like poking fun of your job acting like it was beneath his" and my coworkers at work feel he's done the same around them too). But everyone has flaws. It's not like he was always an a-hole! He just came from a poor 3rd world country and says "I learned at a young age the world is an ugly
Place and love does not conquer all." So that's why I need advice on being patient and showing him I'll love him anyhow
You are in total denial.. So why even ask?..You are making exucses for a person who treats you as a subservient!! ..YOU seem unable to seek equality in any relationship!! ..SO..It appears as your Username implies a professionMD ( thinks not applicable)..yet has absolutely NO ability to evaluate a manipulative guy who obviously you only care about his " Physical" attributes ( yikes)..LOL..THAT my dear..means LOSER !! But still grovel..kiss his every word..not to mention his insane demands of "DON"T ASK FOR COMMITMENT"...You are doomed to lose1 I wipe my hands of your future demise!1 Yo've been warned..advised and Deny Deny WHY did you even ask??
Ohh yeah..MAke sure your assets are guarded..because given your weak at the knees presentation..You just may get wiped out Financially too!! Good luck..BUT given your attitude..You are destined to fail!!
He had to care enough to bring me to work events or around his friends. Just because I am (in other people's words, just being honest) smart and successful and beautiful and "the total package"- one of his friends when meeting me said to him, "u know she's too good for you right?!"- doesn't mean he would've stayed with me just to show me off. I mean he let me move in with him (although he lied about putting my name on lease) . He would occasionally spend time w my family (although both my parents separately said "he was so cold and emotionless towards us" and my mom said "he was like poking fun of your job acting like it was beneath his" and my coworkers at work feel he's done the same around them too). But everyone has flaws. It's not like he was always an a-hole! He just came from a poor 3rd world country and says "I learned at a young age the world is an ugly
Place and love does not conquer all." So that's why I need advice on being patient and showing him I'll love him anyhow
Fine. You want it... You got it.
Go no contact for a little while. Let him forget the negative memories associated with you. Contact him after a month. Prove to him that you've changed by showing him that you will be patient. Don't ever bring up marriage or getting engaged, or anything about the future. Be a good little Stepford girlfriend and do everything he wants to do. Don't ever argue with him. Don't question anything he does, even if it hurts you. If you catch him in a lie, don't call him out on it.
He probably still won't propose but maybe he will. Be prepared to forgo any true sense of fulfillment for the rest of your life, just so you can hold on to this douchebag. But hey, he will still be with you, so... score!
Typical situation for someone far more invested in a relationship than the person they perceive is in a relationship with them. He has continued to show you who he is, yet you continue not believing it.
You can't make people love you. When he finds someone else he'll drop you like a hot potato. He's not invested in this relationship, you are.
What man would say "I will marry you someday when I decide the time is right, but you have to stop talking /asking about it" unless he truly loved you?? The only reason I doubted was bc after the first time he said that (14 months in), he immediately tried to sneak out to a bar at midnight w a single girl when I had plans with my best girlfriend. And then the next few weeks he kept flirting, asking for pics etc
What man would say that? A man who just wants to shut your whining. Are you so naive that you believe everything people tell you. Remember, actions always speak louder than words. Always.
When I said "I love you" after 8 months, he said he wasn't ready to say it back,
That he'd never said or heard it from his dad and it took him25 years to say it back to his mom. He finally said "I love you" in response to me saying one day, after 14 months, "look I'm not sure we're on same page - I mean you haven't said you love me, and I don't know if you want a future with me. You never talk about that stuff." His response was "I do love you and will marry you when the time is right," I gave him a big hug then he knew I had plans w my
Girlfriend, and that's when he got all dressed up and asked a single girl to meet him at a bar at midnight. Then kept flirting w her for weeks to come. I had no idea what she'd said bc in his texts it was her sayin "sorry I wasn't able to meet you last night," but he'd deleted all prior communication between them and changed her name To a guy's in his phone. When I confronted him he said "I told her hey, I had a fight with my girlfriend, can you meet me for a drink?" My ex said "well I considered us broken up at the time." News to me!!! I think this just shows that he doesn't do well w feeling pressured to get close and express emotions. Which is why I'm trying to figure out how to make him feel I'm not expecting too much from him and he'll take me back. From what he said, his ex was great and they had a very harmonious 4-year relationship but he never told her he loved her, and when she brought up topic of getting engaged after 3.5 years , in my ex's words, "we fought and I dumped her." So my ex already made great progress by agreeing to let me move in & saying I love you back
When I said "I love you" after 8 months, he said he wasn't ready to say it back,
That he'd never said or heard it from his dad and it took him25 years to say it back to his mom. He finally said "I love you" in response to me saying one day, after 14 months, "look I'm not sure we're on same page - I mean you haven't said you love me, and I don't know if you want a future with me. You never talk about that stuff." His response was "I do love you and will marry you when the time is right," I gave him a big hug then he knew I had plans w my
Girlfriend, and that's when he got all dressed up and asked a single girl to meet him at a bar at midnight. Then kept flirting w her for weeks to come. I had no idea what she'd said bc in his texts it was her sayin "sorry I wasn't able to meet you last night," but he'd deleted all prior communication between them and changed her name To a guy's in his phone. When I confronted him he said "I told her hey, I had a fight with my girlfriend, can you meet me for a drink?" My ex said "well I considered us broken up at the time." News to me!!! I think this just shows that he doesn't do well w feeling pressured to get close and express emotions. Which is why I'm trying to figure out how to make him feel I'm not expecting too much from him and he'll take me back. From what he said, his ex was great and they had a very harmonious 4-year relationship but he never told her he loved her, and when she brought up topic of getting engaged after 3.5 years , in my ex's words, "we fought and I dumped her." So my ex already made great progress by agreeing to let me move in & saying I love you back
You've already said all this. What do you think this shows? To me, it says he doesn't even respect you as a fellow human being, let alone love you.
Some women view men as a project. You are going to fix this guy. You are going to make up for his terrible childhood. And oh, he is going to love you so much because of it. Sadly, it just doesn't work that way.
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