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I'd say you can win some brownie points doing housework as a husband. I believe if the man is the cleaner and woman is the messy one that will work less often. The whole "guys are sexy with a vacuum cleaner" thing is mostly false in my opinion though. Most ladies are attracted to other things.
This is not to insinuate that the woman is the "Oscar" and the man the "Felix". Both may be into keeping things clean but in a case where the man may want to take over some of the chores for the moment.
I see nothing wrong at all with this on its face. It doesn't make or break the thing.
The important questions are:
Is the power unbalanced in the relationship?
Does she do her share, work and home balance, of the effort in the partnership?
Does she appreciate it? Does he appreciate her?
I tend to be submissive and prefer Dominant men (yes, BDSM again) and even I can picture a man doing all of those things, and then ordering me to *ahem*...do something HE wants. A man can do all of this and still not be a total buttkisser or pushover.
And I've known some really manly men who loved to cook.
It's about balance in the relationship.
And if what OP does for his SO is what she loves and appreciates, but his friend (with whom he isn't trying to have a relationship) wouldn't go for that, and would perceive it as unmanly, well then it's a good thing he's not trying to have a relationship with said friend, no? One woman doesn't speak for all women, ever.
Now folks, I know that it's Christmas eve (and I'm in the process of baking cookies. Yes, I said baking cookies (and I'm a man!) But I need the opinion of the fine women here:
What do you think of a man who, at the end of a day, will do the following spontaneously - not every day, but once in a while...
1) Tells his lady to relax, while he makes a good dinner; serves said dinner with (surprise!) a glass of wine
2) After dinner, he clears away the dishes. He lets his lady relax while he cleans up, takes out the garbage, etc.
3) He may even serve dessert. Repeats the cleaning process for the dessert dishes.
4) After the meal, engages in giving his lady a relaxing neck/shoulder massage. Talks with her, no TV, no phone, no internet, e-mail, etc. NO distractions! Just he and she. Making his lady the one main, principal focus of attention. Listening as well as talking!
The reason I ask this is because a now ex-friend (female) made the remark that, "That's so wimpy and not masculine!" Mind you, this ex-friend was in an abusive marriage and likes "bad boys". I have a "bad boy" mentality myself (outspoken, temperamental) but I'd never hit a woman! Ever! Now, isn't what I mentioned above what a woman would appreciate???
Thanks in advance, and Merry Christmas!
Big part of the "bad boy" mentality is not giving crap about what people think about you or what you do..
Yes, trying too hard is really no way to gain womans respect. Do you know that men who do increasing load of traditionally feminine duties around the house, actually lose their wives respect over time and end up getting hosed in divorce court by their ex wives. If you want to do something for your woman, go for it, just do it because you want to, not because you want something in return. Be a man, not a people pleaser.
The key is the masculine part comes first. don't even bother with the tender part unless you are firmly in the masculine category. Better to be a mans man jerk than some wimpy door mat. It is a lot harder to go from wimpy door mat to a real man than it is to dial back some jerkiness a little.
The key is the masculine part comes first. don't even bother with the tender part unless you are firmly in the masculine category. Better to be a mans man jerk than some wimpy door mat. It is a lot harder to go from wimpy door mat to a real man than it is to dial back some jerkiness a little.
Agreed
As long as he burps and farts whilst he's doing all that it's still classed as masculine
lift weights, drive a truck or a muscle car depending on region, have a real job, have manly hobbies like martial arts, working on cars, etc. He should own at least one gun and not dress like a metro sexual.
Then and only then can you get away with taking a dance class or cooking some fufu dinner and still have any hope of getting laid that night.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Londoncowboy30
Agreed
As long as he burps and farts whilst he's doing all that it's still classed as masculine
Yes, trying too hard is really no way to gain womans respect. Do you know that men who do increasing load of traditionally feminine duties around the house, actually lose their wives respect over time and end up getting hosed in divorce court by their ex wives. If you want to do something for your woman, go for it, just do it because you want to, not because you want something in return. Be a man, not a people pleaser.
I'm very vigilant in this respect, 'cause I don't ever like my kindness taken as weakness! Anyone who knows me will tell you that I'm rather outspoken and the slightest hint of my kindness mistaken will result in my putting the offender on blast!
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