Strictly for the women.... (cheater, personality, vs, feeling)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
As far as that whole "bad boy" thing goes... Yes, majority of women (may) dig that. But if you can balance that w/ the softer, gentler side of a man- a man who can express himself, his nurturing, caring, vulnerability without fear - knowing when & how to be both soft & strong - then you've got the makings of a perfect man right there. * As for the "friend", she's a bit caught up in gender roles. Perhaps cooking/cleaning/nurturing is her identity in her relationship with a bad (bad meaning bad) boy. Some women are just accustomed to giving w/out receiving ~ unfortunately. . .
Now folks, I know that it's Christmas eve (and I'm in the process of baking cookies. Yes, I said baking cookies (and I'm a man!) But I need the opinion of the fine women here:
What do you think of a man who, at the end of a day, will do the following spontaneously - not every day, but once in a while...
1) Tells his lady to relax, while he makes a good dinner; serves said dinner with (surprise!) a glass of wine
2) After dinner, he clears away the dishes. He lets his lady relax while he cleans up, takes out the garbage, etc.
3) He may even serve dessert. Repeats the cleaning process for the dessert dishes.
4) After the meal, engages in giving his lady a relaxing neck/shoulder massage. Talks with her, no TV, no phone, no internet, e-mail, etc. NO distractions! Just he and she. Making his lady the one main, principal focus of attention. Listening as well as talking!
The reason I ask this is because a now ex-friend (female) made the remark that, "That's so wimpy and not masculine!" Mind you, this ex-friend was in an abusive marriage and likes "bad boys". I have a "bad boy" mentality myself (outspoken, temperamental) but I'd never hit a woman! Ever! Now, isn't what I mentioned above what a woman would appreciate???
Thanks in advance, and Merry Christmas!
Hand most women a credit card with zero balance owed on it and tell her to go buy a little something for herself at the mall and she'll return with it maxed it out every time. In other words, give most women an inch and they will take a mile. Happy New Year!
But the manly traits most commonly associated with being a "bad boy" MUST come first. Then if the guy can manage he can take up some dance classes with his lady or cry one to two times a year MAX. Also keep in mind this soft stuff only comes once you are solidly in a relationship with a woman, you never do this stuff early on, never ever. Once you know she is not going anywhere you can cry once or twice a year iff there is a profound reason.
But the softer side is definitely secondary, very very secondary and it should not even be considered until you have checked all the boxes for being a real man. Being soft and still being the bauny paper towel man and getting women is an EXTREME luxury.
You better own and know how to shoot a gun, be violent (not to your woman), know how to work on things, have a real manly job, be physically strong, have manly hobbies, etc.
If you start the sappy stuff and you still only have a probationary man card you can say good by to BJ's.
Quote:
Originally Posted by D217
As far as that whole "bad boy" thing goes... Yes, majority of women (may) dig that. But if you can balance that w/ the softer, gentler side of a man- a man who can express himself, his nurturing, caring, vulnerability without fear - knowing when & how to be both soft & strong - then you've got the makings of a perfect man right there. * As for the "friend", she's a bit caught up in gender roles. Perhaps cooking/cleaning/nurturing is her identity in her relationship with a bad (bad meaning bad) boy. Some women are just accustomed to giving w/out receiving ~ unfortunately. . .
Real men don't hand out their credit cards to anyone or tolerate this sort of behavior. If she tries to leverage sex against you then she should be out the door.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FC76-81
Hand most women a credit card with zero balance owed on it and tell her to go buy a little something for herself at the mall and she'll return with it maxed it out every time. In other words, give most women an inch and they will take a mile. Happy New Year!
As an actual woman over here, pittsflyer, and if your posting history is indicative of anything, are you in Alaska? That might affect your attitudes about such things...but I have found that men who try too hard to be manly and do too many manly things have this feeling like they've got something to prove.
I hate violence. I don't want a violent man in my life EVER AGAIN and I don't care if he's being violent to other people, inanimate objects, etc. (And yet, BDSM...well it is different, highly, highly controlled behavior, and not actually all that violent most of the time.) I don't want a warrior. I'm fed up with that mindset. I've never in my life been in any situation where I've wished someone were there with a gun, and granted that life can change and the world might go crazy at any time, I would not want to live in such a world where that feels necessary.
I dig men who like cats.
I like men who aren't macho...but are confident in who they are. Feelings don't turn me off, but insecurity does. I shouldn't have to Mommy my man or coddle his ego or maintain his sense of self worth. I'd rather be with a very feminine man who valued himself and was true to himself, than a strutting redneck with a big truck and a gun and a bunch of huntin' dogs, out to defend himself against any hint that he was less than a "true man."
But the manly traits most commonly associated with being a "bad boy" MUST come first. Then if the guy can manage he can take up some dance classes with his lady or cry one to two times a year MAX. Also keep in mind this soft stuff only comes once you are solidly in a relationship with a woman, you never do this stuff early on, never ever. Once you know she is not going anywhere you can cry once or twice a year iff there is a profound reason.
But the softer side is definitely secondary, very very secondary and it should not even be considered until you have checked all the boxes for being a real man. Being soft and still being the bauny paper towel man and getting women is an EXTREME luxury.
You better own and know how to shoot a gun, be violent (not to your woman), know how to work on things, have a real manly job, be physically strong, have manly hobbies, etc.
If you start the sappy stuff and you still only have a probationary man card you can say good by to BJ's.
My issue is with the third paragraph here. I know how to shoot a gun (and was, repeat, WAS a gun owner at one time); I've worked on cars, love cars in fact. What's a "manly" job? Fireman? I had been a boxer in my younger years, so I damn sure can defend myself! I'm no Schwarzenegger but still strong at 52. My hobby is a "manly" hobby - cars!
This is not typical and there are a lot of men like this competing for a very small number of women. You may reward this sort of behavior/personality but most women don't.
Also there is a big difference between what women SAY they want and what they actually reward.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork
As an actual woman over here, pittsflyer, and if your posting history is indicative of anything, are you in Alaska? That might affect your attitudes about such things...but I have found that men who try too hard to be manly and do too many manly things have this feeling like they've got something to prove.
I hate violence. I don't want a violent man in my life EVER AGAIN and I don't care if he's being violent to other people, inanimate objects, etc. (And yet, BDSM...well it is different, highly, highly controlled behavior, and not actually all that violent most of the time.) I don't want a warrior. I'm fed up with that mindset. I've never in my life been in any situation where I've wished someone were there with a gun, and granted that life can change and the world might go crazy at any time, I would not want to live in such a world where that feels necessary.
I dig men who like cats.
I like men who aren't macho...but are confident in who they are. Feelings don't turn me off, but insecurity does. I shouldn't have to Mommy my man or coddle his ego or maintain his sense of self worth. I'd rather be with a very feminine man who valued himself and was true to himself, than a strutting redneck with a big truck and a gun and a bunch of huntin' dogs, out to defend himself against any hint that he was less than a "true man."
Now folks, I know that it's Christmas eve (and I'm in the process of baking cookies. Yes, I said baking cookies (and I'm a man!) But I need the opinion of the fine women here:
What do you think of a man who, at the ecnd of a day, will do the following spontaneously - not every day, but once in a while...
1) Tells his lady to relax, while he makes a good dinner; serves said dinner with (surprise!) a glass of wine
2) After dinner, he clears away the dishes. He lets his lady relax while he cleans up, takes out the garbage, etc.
3) He may even serve dessert. Repeats the cleaning process for the dessert dishes.
4) After the meal, engages in giving his lady a relaxing neck/shoulder massage. Talks with her, no TV, no phone, no internet, e-mail, etc. NO distractions! Just he and she. Making his lady the one main, principal focus of attention. Listening as well as talking!
The reason I ask this is because a now ex-friend (female) made the remark that, "That's so wimpy and not masculine!" Mind you, this ex-friend was in an abusive marriage and likes "bad boys". I have a "bad boy" mentality myself (outspoken, temperamental) but I'd never hit a woman! Ever! Now, isn't what I mentioned above what a woman would appreciate???
Thanks in advance, and Merry Christmas!
I have been doing all of that for more than 45 Years. I of course do it to receive (upgraded turbo charged Loving ), &
There's a big differences between loving and Turbo Charged Loving. Macho Masculine Men very rarely receive
the top of the line loving from theirs Loveher's....LOL...
I patch leaks in the house , do the landscaping , plumbing ,,
Repair broken window by both kids and grandkids. ,Repair holes punched in the doors and walls by son , wipe butts of
both (grand)son's and (grand)daughters. What you do for a
Woman (grand)children work just as good as pampering her.
When I pamper my wife it's massages of area between the
eyes and temple and neck and shoulders and hips and thighs and most importantly Her Feet.I cook more now 95 percent of the time now because of the failing health of my
Wife.
I'm going to be doing these sort of things for the rest of my life because you see both the woman that's with me and myself are going to be spoiled rotten.
Last edited by Howest2008; 01-02-2016 at 04:55 AM..
^^^agree about "his lady". Please. Sounds like someone tries too hard. I picture a fella with a combover saying it.
OP the scenario you described would make me terminate the relationship.
I like really macho old school males. Provider/protector types.
I do expect a man to do "his share" but that consists of outside chores, car maintenance, home repair, traditional man stuff. THAT stuff is swoony. Toolbelts, not aprons are hot on a guy.
When I was dating I found VERY FEW manly guys. Most were of the type in your icky scenario; wimpy buttkissers trying too hard to do what Lifetime tells them they should.
Nothing wrong with a man calling his woman (my lady ) as long as she was cool with it , for you it doesn't work and I won't be stupid enough to keep pushing your buttons by calling you that.
I have done all of that and more and still done Macho man stuff to , I think that you were thinking about a soft man who couldn't or wouldn't handle those Masculine types of duty within your relationship , I'm a veteran of two military services , and at the ripe age of 63 years young continues to lift weights. .LOL ..and like to carry women not ladies around in my arms sometimes especially when they fall down like my wife.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Lol
