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As a man, no matter how good or bad you look -- no matter how wealthy you are or aren't -- no matter how well or how poorly you can connect with women emotionally , no matter your height or weight, one thing remains constant :
You will do better offline.
(The only exception to this, are cases where the dating pool is so thin that you cannot find women offline, and must resort to online -- like maybe you work on an oil rig, or 1,000 miles from the nearest city.)
Not in my husband's or previous SOs' experience. They came across far better (as in, compatible) matches online. Hands down.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,948,491 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by le roi
Yeah I don't think you understood what I said.
I understood perfectly what you said. It appears, you didn't actually mean what you said.
Quote:
Originally Posted by le roi
What a man wants in a partner is colored by the options he has available.
You said: You believe that what I or another guy wants is colored by what is available and he can have. I can't speak for others, but this has nothing to do with what I want. They're entirely independent variables.
Quote:
Originally Posted by le roi
Otherwise we'd all want supermodels and never settle for anything else.
This is a bit of a nonequitor since it has little to do with the preceding statement. I don't "settle" at all, and for some reason it puts a class of "supermodels" as some sort of ideal for dating, but that really has little to do with what I want. I have no idea what you are trying to say here, unless it is the erroneous notion that being attracted to someone is entirely dependent on physical attributes, and you believe that "supermodels" are the ideal for physical attributes. There are many fallacious logical leaps in that notion. So, what you said and what you meant I think are very different.
Quote:
Originally Posted by le roi
In reality, everyone goes through a process of settling. Online dating just filters that "settling" process through a lens of an internet service with disproportionately unattractive and hostile women.
I've met loads of very attractive women using OLD and rarely have run into hostility. I'm not sure why you have this experience.
In the context of attractive women, online dating is not a "major venue," it is an obscure, questionable backwater.
You're ignoring the inherent shift in dynamics that occurs when you go online.
Online is not like "all the gyms combined."
It is like all the gyms combined, minus most of the women you'd want to date, plus about 10,000 extra guys pumping out message after message.
You're confusing the potential of online dating with the reality of online dating.
I'm posting from experience. The physical quality of women I've been able to date whom I met online has been the exact same quality as I've met offline (where I have met most of my previous partners). And I have very high standards. But with OLD I get to find EXACTLY what I want and not waste time on women with no personality, or hope the stars align for some coincidental meet cute moment.
Also, any guy who is halfway decent looking, dresses well, respectful and knows how to write shouldn't have to spam any introductory messages on OLD at all. The women will come to you, and you get to pick and choose which ones you want to message and offer to meet offline.
The bottom line is some guys just are not good at the OLD forum, and take rejection too personally. Or live in an area where the pool of decent women is too scattered. But the guys who are unsuccessful at OLD are probably not good at meeting women offline either, so your view on this topic isn't going to help them.
You said: You believe that what I or another guy wants is colored by what is available and he can have. I can't speak for others, but this has nothing to do with what I want. They're entirely independent variables.
Then I take this as a lack of self-awareness on your part.
Quote:
This is a bit of a nonequitor since it has little to do with the preceding statement. I don't "settle" at all, and for some reason it puts a class of "supermodels" as some sort of ideal for dating, but that really has little to do with what I want.
This is just pedantic, as you said you did want an extremely attractive woman. That you're splitting hairs between "supermodel" and "extremely attractive woman" kind of tells me you are deliberately misunderstanding what's being said.
Quote:
I have no idea what you are trying to say here, unless it is the erroneous notion that being attracted to someone is entirely dependent on physical attributes, and you believe that "supermodels" are the ideal for physical attributes.
You're hung up on this word "supermodel" as a reference to attractive women, which you stated clearly you find appealing.
Physical attractiveness is fairly objective, and any guy who believes his 275lb Suzie is "just as attractive" is in denial.
I'm posting from experience. The physical quality of women I've been able to date whom I met online has been the exact same quality as I've met offline (where I have met most of my previous partners).
Then that just tells me you aren't very good at meeting women offline in the first place.
You're not narrowing your dating pool. There are more women offline than online, especially once you've adjusted for women who will actually use it for the intended purpose.
In today's dating culture, the women (people) looking offline are also looking online. That's just the way it is, and will continue to be. If someone's dating pool is already narrow due to specific criteria they will likely have a much more difficult time finding a suitable match offline. My husband can attest to this. Online simply displays (some better than others) possible matches in a more concentrated, easily accessible manner that allows for further filtering and assessment.
Quote:
The simple fact is : the low quantity and quality of women online means that it will never be as effective as approaching them in person, no how many sappy men show up with their sincere beliefs that sweet little Suzy from OKCupid was the best they could do.
So, you tell yourself the quantity and quality are low because it makes you feel better about your less than stellar experience.
Makes sense now. Bitter Boys and all.
My husband said "I do." My guess is that's pretty sincere. And not because I'm "sweet." lololol There are a lot of "nice" and "sweet" men and women out there. That's setting the bar a bit low.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,948,491 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by le roi
Then I take this as a lack of self-awareness on your part.
I take it is as ignorance on yours.
Quote:
Originally Posted by le roi
This is just pedantic, as you said you did want an extremely attractive woman.
I actually said this, which is far more precise:
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
Of course I want to date someone I'm extremely attracted to.
If I'm attracted to them, I find them attractive, to me they are attractive women. That has nothing to do with options, and nothing to do with being a supermodel.
Quote:
Originally Posted by le roi
You're hung up on this word "supermodel" as a reference to attractive women, which you stated clearly you find appealing.
Actually I'm not. I'm using your term, that appears to equate being a supermodel with someone being physically good look, and then you're using that as being synonymous with being attractive, as showing how your thought process is flawed.
As is your terminology.
Quote:
Originally Posted by le roi
Then that just tells me you aren't very good at meeting women offline in the first place.
It shows the inverse. That you're not very good at meeting women online. It seems you run into unattractive and hostile women. I find the opposite to be true. I'm guessing this is due to the difficulty you seem to have in conversing via the written word, and some associated flawed thought processes.
Try working on those. Maybe you didn't realize you had this issue? That would be hard to believe since you seem to think you have a great deal of self awareness (for some reason).
Then that just tells me you aren't very good at meeting women offline in the first place.
Haha, nice try...
So care to go into some personal experience testimonials, rather than hyperbolic trolling and stating your opinion as "fact"?
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