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He knew enough to date her, get married, and have a family.
Which doesn't lead me to any conclusion about his alternative options.
I don't know why y'all think these personal anecdotes are supposed to be convincing. It must be somehow related to y'all's insistence that my views on this topic are derived solely from personal experience.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,178,375 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by le roi
Which doesn't lead me to any conclusion about his alternative options.
Do you know any dude that says "yeah, this is the best I can do, so I'll date her and I consider her high quality, I mean, my other options stink"...
Yeah, neither do that, because people that aren't idiots or jerks don't even begin to think like this. It wouldn't even occur to me to think like this or that thinking like this is an option. Because, well, I'm not an idiot or a jerk (eh, sometimes I'm a jerk I guess).
Quote:
Originally Posted by le roi
I don't know why y'all think these personal anecdotes are supposed to be convincing. It must be somehow related to y'all's insistence that my views on this topic are rooted in anecdotes of my own.
Because they are, and you've provided no evidence that they are not. In fact, most of your posts just reinforce that it is drawn exclusively from your experiences.
Right, like shopping for an appliance. Convenient and energy-saving.
Or a car and virtually everything else. I mean, you're not having this discussion at a discussion hall. You're interacting with people online. It is a matter of convenience, exposure, diversity, and reach. You can cover more ground, reach more people, interact and get to know more people, online than off. If you're trying to argue that online is detrimental to "things" or "the way life used to be" then you need to reach beyond online dating.
It's just that online makes it far easier and convenient to filter and assess these potential matches.
Subtopic: (since I think the previous one has been beaten to death)
For me, this isn't always the case. For some things that are hard and fast (say, beliefs on children, or certain political or religious stances), sure. But for other, more "fluid" preferences (say, intelligence?)...I can get a better feel for someone in person than online. Someone that self-describes as witty? I can get a WAY better feel for that in person than online. My "screening filter" works way better in person for most topics other than easily quantified ones (like, height, or preference for children, for example)
And even for the hard and fast stances, I could limit my physical searches to locations that are more likely to be populated by those who might share my opinions/beliefs. If I were very fierce about a particular political party, I could frequent their rallies, for example.
None of this is to imply that I don't agree with you, I'm just playing a little bit of devil's advocate, as well as throwing my own experiences out there.
Do you know any dude that says "yeah, this is the best I can do, so I'll date her and I consider her high quality, I mean, my other options stink"...
Stating it aloud? No. But all men and all women make the decision at some point that the person is as good as they can do. Otherwise they'd keep looking.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,178,375 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hivemind31
For what it's worth....I do. (know guys like this, not do this myself)
Im sure they exist, there are idiots and jerks out there, but they aren't that common, and their point of views on things aren't to be given credence.
Quote:
Originally Posted by le roi
Stating it aloud? No. But all men and all women make the decision at some point that the person is as good as they can do. Otherwise they'd keep looking.
ULTIMATE FAIL. People don't stop looking because they think this is the best they can do. They stop because they fell in love, and that person fell in love with them, and because they decided to be partners together; that is nothing akin to thinking the person is "as good as they can do".
Sounds to me like you've never actually been in love. This would explain much of your flawed thought process.
Or a car and virtually everything else. I mean, you're not having this discussion at a discussion hall. You're interacting with people online. It is a matter of convenience, exposure, diversity, and reach.
For a man, online dating arguably has convenience, diversity, and reach, provided you have low standards.
However it lacks exposure, to a fundamentally crippling degree. And that's the point. "Conveniently reaching diverse profiles" is not all that great when the quality of the active profiles is significantly worse than the people you'd meet offline, as is the case.
Quote:
You can cover more ground, reach more people, interact and get to know more people, online than off.
Maybe, but the quality will be lower.
Quote:
To find quality matches?
To find matches at all. You were talking about a thin dating pool , which I covered earlier. A thin dating 'real life' pool can be cured by online dating, which I said in my first post in this thread. The example I used was an oil rig.
In the U.S. at least, there are more females than males and this ratio gets larger the older the group.
Nobody HAS to online date. You can date offline. Established.
Meanwhile, men (supposedly) can date their age, older, OR younger, even much younger, whereas many times, women have the restriction, either self-imposed or imposed societally or both, of dating at least their age - and often the desire on the part of the man that the man be significantly older (i.e. the woman is significantly younger) - well, except for pumping and dumping, at least if one believes what so many on here say. I mean...n'est-ce pas? Which means at least a good 30 year spread for men and what. A 5-year age difference spread for women unless we want to get on our knees for Grampa?
With me so far?
Okay, so, continuing on...Yes, you have "overly picky" women online (just as you have a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge pool of fat old bald men who want a 20-year-old hottie)...those women aren't winding up with what they want, they are changing their minds at some point...period....and at any given time that that happens, you're standing around, too. Where those women are. Whether online or off.
Put this ALL together and if you get off the fugging computer once in a while, for God's sake, you have a HUGE pool of women available for men and a SMALL pool of men for women (quality or not, I won't even go there...there are just as many fat toothless men out there as fat toothless women...actually, slightly MORE fat men than women, but again, doesn't warrant repeating for the billionth time).
Yet we are still hearing on here how dating is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hard for men and sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo unfair for men. WTF??? Are you kidding? If the tables were tipped any more in your favor they'd be falling right over.
It isn't online dating that's the problem. It isn't offline dating that's the problem. You're the problem.
Sorry.
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