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I said it out of fear and insecurity at the time. Once her belly started to grow and I say the ultrasounds, it all went away.
Yet you express no sadness at all now. You moved in to support her, not so you could support one another. Everything you have written is about your rules and wishes and why things aren't going your way. Nothing about losing anything except your favorite ****toy because she's being all irrational right now. I have no pity for you.
Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
2,365 posts, read 2,150,511 times
Reputation: 3814
Quote:
Originally Posted by DuserJ
I thought people would be more tolerant and could actually understand that I never intended any of this to happen. I take no pleasure in watching her suffer, no matter what you might believe.
I don't believe you are taking pleasure in any of it. I also find it very easy to believe that you never intended to get her pregnant.
What I don't understand is how you could not foresee that this situation was going to eventually end - somehow. One way or the other, 99% of people are not going to settle on living this way forever.
It could have ended with you deciding that you loved her, and wanted her in your life forever - before this traumatic event. But, it didn't. It ended the way it ended, and nothing is going to change that.
There is no way to make any of this her fault. Other than insensitive reactions, its not even really your fault. I'm taking it you both were willing participants in this little game.
Learn from this. Give up any unreasonable expectations of other people. She's not a golden retriever. Her needs have moved beyond what you want to limit her to. She is not going to be content to sit at your feet and come when you call her.
She has learned there is more to life than just making her master happy.
Let's say you insist you love her. Fine. Let her go. If it was meant to be, she will return to you. If she doesn't, learn from your mistakes, pick up the pieces, and move on. Maybe there is something out there waiting for both of you that is far superior to what you managed to create together.
As far as saying you are leaving - unless you are moving out of town, where exactly are you leaving? You cant leave from somewhere you never allowed yourself to be.
I wasn't sure what the procedure would be. I've had friends that had stillborns much further along and actually had to go through labor. I had a D&C at 8 weeks but I didn't know how far along they performed those.
Your GF is right, you never truly love her. You would be willing to sacrifice your personal space for a long 14yrs relationship if you do. Take this to your heart seriously
The minute I read the rules part, I think it's a good idea for her not to see you again. I mean she's actually put up with you for 14 years with the rules. What is this? Soviet Union? Even it was collapsed. I think that's enough for her. I think you should move on too.
I think you should take it deep into your heart so you could change into more sensitive and loving person. You have not find love inside you yet. Because when you do if you ever give it a chance you would rather chain her than have sex with others. That is what love does. Love indeed sets you into a mode of obbession of one person that you want to be with in a same house and work day feels long sometimes because you cannot wait to see her again. Love changes your chemicals and thinking.
I hope she finds someone who really does love her with fully loving heart.
You should let her find someone who give his all to her. Stop stealing her happy years with someone that would truly love her.
And go to a therapy or something with your issues of controlling your talks during arguing. Love also prevents saying things that are too hurting, because heart tells to stop, you don't want to hurt a person that you love. You do sound like a jerk. Only good thing in you is that you told your intentions clearly. Now she wants something that you are not able to give - true love.
i've had friends that had stillborns much further along and actually had to go through labor.
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