do most people lose interest in dating after a certain age? (wife, how to)
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It has nothing to do with childbearing. Sometimes women simply get tired of the hassle of relationships, and come to the realization that they're MUCH happier coming home to their comfy pajamas, TV, bubble bath and bed all to themselves at the time of their choosing than to the expectations, demands, desires and inconveniences of another person. You come home from a long day at work and the last thing you feel like dealing with is another person.
When you feel like that, you lose interest in dating. It's not about sperm and eggs. It's about preferences in lifestyle.
I'm a man hitting 50 this year and have little motivation to date. I'm tired of it all to be frank. Would rather come home after work, relax by doing whatever and go to bed. I'm sick of the dating game and all the crap that comes from relationships. Not getting married and having kids was the two best decisions I ever made.
A smart man does not listen to a woman's words. He watches her actions.
Exactly, Akonyo.
You seem to entirely ignore reality when it comes to women, at least on some subjects, then decide this deliberate ignorance is the "real reality." You're not watching a woman's actions, you're listening to your own pre-programmed words. You're correct, that's not very smart. To use your own words, anyway.
I don't think from the way you write that you're a non-intelligent person in general; just on the subject of women, and that seems a deliberate ignoring, not a literal inability to understand, IMO.
Now OTOH if you literally ARE hearing from women "go hug your financial advisor" for having some knowledge of your own finances, well then you are pretty much scraping the very bottom of the dating pool, I'm sorry to say, because what woman says or even thinks this? We care about our finances too. (?????) I don't know where you're dredging these "extreme examples" from, but no, such examples don't speak of what we women generally say...or think...or do. I mean come on, are you serious?
That goes back to what I said on another thread about men's changing role in the new world order of dating. Even with younger women, it's now more about who you are than what you can provide. Are you witty? Supportive (emotionally, not financially)? Kind? Generous with your time and affection? Stable? Strong? Do you have common values and goals? Are you fun to be around? Are you loyal, honest, a stand-up kind of man? It's really more about whether your personalities mesh than anything material.
That's great & all but nobody is going to condemn themselves to a life of abject poverty by picking a mate with all those attributes who is incapable of supporting themselves. If you picked that guy, the money stress would eventually nuke the marriage. The ideal guy has all those great attributes and is also affluent.
There was another guy just yesterday or maybe the day before saying he wished women "needed" mean and trying to convince everyone that a woman actually choosing based on liking/loving the man leads to "wantonness" or what-have-you...I just don't get why some men think of women as machines with certain specific buttons to push in order to receive the reward (sex) and when we don't operate that way, these dudes seem to fall apart a little. Just don't get that.
That was me... not Mr Bolo or Akonyo or the admittedly shrill and tiresome MGTOW chorus.
The "reward" isn't sex, or clean laundry, or arm-candy. The reward is stability. The reward is receiving envelopes addressed to "Mr. and Mrs."
I prefer to think of all humans as machines, albeit temperamental and irrational ones. It's not about women somehow being inferior to men, or more emotional, or more/less/whatever anything else. What's changed in recent decades is less about the "liberation" of women, than the replacement of duty with personal preference, and that holds for both genders. What's not changed is the nature of our biology.
I have a proposal: let's please stop making this a competition or antagonism between men and women! The problem, as I see it, isn't about women. Or about men. The problem is when the human meat-machine gets the wherewithal to act less mechanically.
That's great & all but nobody is going to condemn themselves to a life of abject poverty by picking a mate with all those attributes who is incapable of supporting themselves. If you picked that guy, the money stress would eventually nuke the marriage. The ideal guy has all those great attributes and is also affluent.
Not really. An ideal guy from many women's perspective would be one who has all those great attributes and is self-supporting at any level.
That was me... not Mr Bolo or Akonyo or the admittedly shrill and tiresome MGTOW chorus.
The "reward" isn't sex, or clean laundry, or arm-candy. The reward is stability. The reward is receiving envelopes addressed to "Mr. and Mrs."
I prefer to think of all humans as machines, albeit temperamental and irrational ones. It's not about women somehow being inferior to men, or more emotional, or more/less/whatever anything else. What's changed in recent decades is less about the "liberation" of women, than the replacement of duty with personal preference, and that holds for both genders. What's not changed is the nature of our biology.
I have a proposal: let's please stop making this a competition or antagonism between men and women! The problem, as I see it, isn't about women. Or about men. The problem is when the human meat-machine gets the wherewithal to act less mechanically.
What? lol Translation, please. This is where you lost me. I was with you until this last part. I thought the "the reward is receiving envelopes addressed to 'Mr. and Mrs.' was sweet. So, what's this about a meat machine?
I am so happy I have a dog. I have tried dating and it continues to blow up in my face. With each failure I lose interest and prepare to be alone forever. FYI, I'll be 27 this year, have tried dating for 2 years and I'm slowly seeing that porn and masturbation is my best option.
Last edited by 49ersfan27; 02-21-2016 at 02:20 PM..
You seem to entirely ignore reality when it comes to women, at least on some subjects, then decide this deliberate ignorance is the "real reality." You're not watching a woman's actions, you're listening to your own pre-programmed words. You're correct, that's not very smart. To use your own words, anyway.
I don't think from the way you write that you're a non-intelligent person in general; just on the subject of women, and that seems a deliberate ignoring, not a literal inability to understand, IMO.
Here's how I developed my current thought process:
I've had tons and tons of female friends in the past (as well as women that I've dated). I've either gotten advice from them or asked them what they wanted, only to find out (through observation of their actions) that what they say they want and what they actually want are two different things. I used to take what women say at face value. I no longer do.
So, yes, I do listen to my "pre-programmed words", as many people do. But, like many others, this comes from my collective experience.
Quote:
Now OTOH if you literally ARE hearing from women "go hug your financial advisor" for having some knowledge of your own finances, well then you are pretty much scraping the very bottom of the dating pool, I'm sorry to say, because what woman says or even thinks this? We care about our finances too. (?????) I don't know where you're dredging these "extreme examples" from, but no, such examples don't speak of what we women generally say...or think...or do. I mean come on, are you serious?
I didn't say this.
I believe that women do care about money and finances, but that it's secondary to other traits that are deemed attractive (most of which I consider to not be practical).
Quote:
Originally Posted by GeoffD
That's great & all but nobody is going to condemn themselves to a life of abject poverty by picking a mate with all those attributes who is incapable of supporting themselves. If you picked that guy, the money stress would eventually nuke the marriage. The ideal guy has all those great attributes and is also affluent.
Honestly, from what I've seen, most people don't make practical decisions when it comes to long-term partners. This is especially true for my generation (millennials) since most have had everything handed to them in life.
I've found that most people make horrible decisions in partners and either they don't consider the future or are very naive to what the future will be like with that person. Most rely on feelings and don't listen to people that care about them who could be more objective about the situation.
I'm way more calculating than my millennial brethren and I'm far more careful about the kind of women I get involved with.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ohio_peasant
That was me... not Mr Bolo or Akonyo or the admittedly shrill and tiresome MGTOW chorus.
The "reward" isn't sex, or clean laundry, or arm-candy. The reward is stability. The reward is receiving envelopes addressed to "Mr. and Mrs."
Yes, exactly. And I don't find most women to be stable.
Quote:
I prefer to think of all humans as machines, albeit temperamental and irrational ones. It's not about women somehow being inferior to men, or more emotional, or more/less/whatever anything else. What's changed in recent decades is less about the "liberation" of women, than the replacement of duty with personal preference, and that holds for both genders. What's not changed is the nature of our biology.
I agree. While I don't think that this is the norm for either gender, I've found far more men to be capable of thinking in meaningful and abstract terms than women. Women tend to regurgitate what they hear from other feminists and the media.
Quote:
I have a proposal: let's please stop making this a competition or antagonism between men and women! The problem, as I see it, isn't about women. Or about men. The problem is when the human meat-machine gets the wherewithal to act less mechanically.
I think that the problem is more with our culture than biology.
Have you seen the dating sites in the 50+ category? They're nearly all women, and lots of them. If you were going only by that as an indicator, you'd conclude it's men who lose interest in dating after their T declines. Nursing home workers report that's not the case. There's plenty of action going on at those places.
I think people need to view human behavior less from a perspective of theory, and more from reality. People spend too much time in their heads about this stuff. You're equating humans to animals, but for humans, companionship is a motivating value. You're missing the human element, OP.
If there are more women on those sites, it's because they are sick of men in their 20s asking them if they are into younger men. Also, it's because a lot of men who sign up for dating sites don't use it for actually dating, but for acquiring photos of young women for their spank banks and to try to get laid. They're not going to spend money on a site where they know the women won't put up with their crap!
Well I'm 31, ended it with the one I was seeing today so....... A nice little break for me.
See how long I last LMAO!!!
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Just don't get that.
LMAO!!!
