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But I can't blame someone not taking a relationship seriously when one of the people is married, separated or not.
It's something a lot of people would have trouble with, to put it mildly. If I were single, I couldn't date someone who was still married. This guy accepted it, though, until he needed to throw something in the OP's face to take the heat off himself, at which point he used her marital status, her clothes, her roommates and whatever else he could think of.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by forum_browser
It's something a lot of people would have trouble with, to put it mildly. If I were single, I couldn't date someone who was still married. This guy accepted it, though, until he needed to throw something in the OP's face to take the heat off himself, at which point he used her marital status, her clothes, her roommates and whatever else he could think of.
Oh no, that's a **** move to be sure. No doubt about it. This sounds incredibly unhealthy all around.
Yikes, you're married? I think this will be an issue for most guys. But presumably your ex-boyfriend knew this going into the relationship, and to use it as ammunition to distract from your complaints is ridiculous, as long as your were honest about how long it would take to get a divorce. I would wait until you're no longer married to date again, though.
Why print things out to convince him he's wrong? You guys are broken up, and you need to focus on your healing and not on winning arguments with him. Return his stuff to him so you won't need to have repeated contact, which will only prolong your pain.
He thinks I am sick in the head for thinking the way I am thinking. I know him - he ran to his friends and they all now think I am nuts. It helps him to get over it if he can be mad at me.
I wanted to proof to him with printing out this thread that I am thinking like most other people and that he will most likely not find another woman who wants to meet his ex.
I was willing to work on myself and I was willing to take one for the team and become friends even though it is UNNORMAL. I wanted to get credit for being THAT WOMAN. I am 100% sure that I can make it work with meeting her and hanging out.
I still hope we can find back to each other in 3-4 months. When I will get divorced and kept going to counseling.
He thinks I am sick in the head for thinking the way I am thinking. I know him - he ran to his friends and they all now think I am nuts. It helps him to get over it if he can be mad at me.
I wanted to proof to him with printing out this thread that I am thinking like most other people and that he will most likely not find another woman who wants to meet his ex.
I was willing to work on myself and I was willing to take one for the team and become friends even though it is UNNORMAL. I wanted to get credit for being THAT WOMAN. I am 100% sure that I can make it work with meeting her and hanging out.
I still hope we can find back to each other in 3-4 months. When I will get divorced and kept going to counseling.
Ok, I'm out.
Eve, this wasn't meant to be.
I also hope that your motive for going to counseling was to work on YOU - not to get him back.
I'm sorry to hear this, Eve. If it's meant to be, you'll find your way back together. If not, you seem to be a nice lady and you'll find someone that you deserve if you give yourself a chance.
As for the break-up and the reasons, if my girl was uncomfortable with me being in touch with my exes, I would drop them. Your security should come first. It should be you two against the world, IMO.
Eve, IMO you might get off of C-D for a little bit and take a some time for yourself offline. Maybe you could talk to some friends, family, or your counselor if you need to. There's just a lot of negativity reading people, who have opposing points of view, have disagreements on relationship threads when you just had a bad break-up and appear to simply need a break and to blow off steam. Threads are great and all, but I'm just saying watching people go back in forth over who is right and who is wrong may not really be helping you personally. Feel better
I would really like for him to know that I am not nuts.
I don't want to be remembered as "THE CRAZY EX"
The new partner hanging out with the old partner is not what people usually do. I want him to know that I was one out of 100 who would have done it for him.
What does he need all that contact with his exes for? He should have been moving on with his life and focusing on YOU. Between that and being glued to his phone, it sounds like he is more of an attention addict. Those types are insatiable. I think it's better for you to be out of that relationship.
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