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I'm sure most, if not all, women here have been approached, and or been flirted with at least once in their life?
Once? That's your standard, now? If the plain, average girls get approached once in 30 years, they should be grateful? That sounds very different from this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut;
The plain average types are the ones that get approached the most, in my experience (because not every woman is gorgeous). And unless, shes dressed in a nuns outfit, she will get some sort of male attention; some wanted and unwanted
Once? That's your standard, now? If the plain, average girls get approached once in 30 years, they should be grateful? That sounds very different from this:
I see a heck of a lot of average-looking women with husbands. Most of them, actually, by the age of 30 still wind up married.
I see a heck of a lot of average-looking women with husbands. Most of them, actually, by the age of 30 still wind up married.
And the husbands? Are they extraordinarily good-looking?
By the way, the same number of men as women are married, approximately. Hmm.
So if the idea is that this means it's "easy" for a plain woman to get a date, all this points to it being "easy" for a plain man to get a date, it would seem. I mean both obviously wind up with partners. Right?
Yeah, I know, I know. "No way, because men have to work at it!"
Right, just like how those plain women have to be smart but not pretentious, accomplished but not mouthy about it and not a "career b," not unfit, not over a certain age, interesting but not steal the show, outgoing but not annoying, show care in her appearance but not TOO much care, self-confidence but not "a princess," and sweeter, more caretaking, sexual (but not a sl*t, ZOMG!) and on...and...on...and on?
Like that?
Even pretty women are expected to have the above traits in order to be among the "best," imagine what a plain woman must do and be. Everyone - of both sexes - works hard at being the best he or she can be and no, "plain" women don't roll out of bed, walk out the front door and get approached by amazing suitors as reward for having a vagina. Plain women are overlooked every. Damn. Day. You can see it and you can see that it hurts.
I was never plain but I was painfully shy and quiet and felt constantly overlooked for the bubbly, vivacious girls who knew all about fashion and flirting. If I had not made a constant concerted effort to act outgoing I'd never have had a date. Never. As it is since teenagehood I never lacked for dates - because I forced myself out of my natural shell. It was hard then. It still is, every single day.
So let us not go in this general and very predictable direction, shall we? I'm really over the mythology that it's so amazingly easy to be a woman. It's damned hard, you just wouldn't know it because we don't whine about it constantly. Instead, we accept that real life is hard, and we deal. Or else we stay unhappy and alone. So think before you speak...or whine.
Once? That's your standard, now? If the plain, average girls get approached once in 30 years, they should be grateful? That sounds very different from this:
So, you're saying only gorgeous women get approached, and the average ones are ignored?
Its amazing that you, and summerFall have "NEVER EVER" seen an average woman get approached. You guys are kidding, right? Oh c'mon now, Ruth, Lol.
It is not your looks... There are shallow guys but why you would want a one? Look around, all looks are married and dating. Short, tall, fat, skinny, blonde, brunette, "0-10", healthy, disabled, shy and machos... Everyone!
And you have to be naturally fit for a person, you could study all the ways how he would like you to be perfect match to him but that would not be you anymore. And when you cannot sparkle naturally more that what attracts him, it will comes to the end..
Be you, strongly be you. If that is not enough you 2 are not a match. Sometimes we would want someone for some reason but we would see in the long run that person is not what we thought at first. So no need to keep a show up just to end up with a wrong person.
Men see different things in a woman. Someone describes womans smile the prettiest in the world when other would think she is a horse mouth (real life example).. Another likes walking style, third one voice and one admires cooking skills.. You never know what is that thing why he would like her. Especially her.
But don't stay in a thought it would be only looks thing because it is not. Guys has their own taste and it comes to character too. If you mean to be funny, someone is taking it as insult and someone else laughs.. It is hard because people are so different. Much much things have to match before people are able to be couple.
There is no common recipe, you just have to be in a right place at right time and give it a chance.
And the husbands? Are they extraordinarily good-looking?
That was not a requirement of the OP. She didn't ask for advice on how to get "extraordinarily good-looking" men.
Quote:
By the way, the same number of men as women are married, approximately. Hmm.
So? Do you see that as a problem?
Quote:
So if the idea is that this means it's "easy" for a plain woman to get a date, all this points to it being "easy" for a plain man to get a date, it would seem. I mean both obviously wind up with partners. Right?
Yeah, I know, I know. "No way, because men have to work at it!"
Right, just like how those plain women have to be smart but not pretentious, accomplished but not mouthy about it and not a "career b," not unfit, not over a certain age, interesting but not steal the show, outgoing but not annoying, show care in her appearance but not TOO much care, self-confidence but not "a princess," and sweeter, more caretaking, sexual (but not a sl*t, ZOMG!) and on...and...on...and on?
Like that?
Apparently you need to start your own thread with a gripe of your own.
Bottomline is that most people can find someone in their own league if they're not jerks and actually go out and try.
I hope this doesn't seem like a non-answer, and I'm sorry if it does and if it therefore doesn't help you, but it's how I feel about the situation. If I were a "runner up" for a guy's attention I'd make the decision for him by bowing out to go find a guy who wanted JUST me.
None of these "pick me, pick me!" games.
This!!
Why would you want someone that does not choose you?
Beauty is within you. I am attractive but not the most beautiful woman. Most days my hair looks like a wreck because, I wake up to shower, 20 minutes before having to leave the house. I never wear makeup. And putting an outfit together is grabbing the first tshirt, pair of jeans and sneakers... But because of my outgoing personality, I never have issues with grabbing a guys attention.
By the way, the same number of men as women are married, approximately. Hmm.
So if the idea is that this means it's "easy" for a plain woman to get a date, all this points to it being "easy" for a plain man to get a date, it would seem. I mean both obviously wind up with partners. Right?
Not quite, because we can't necessarily equate "get a date" to "get married". They are most definitely NOT the same thing, and I'd submit that, as a general likelihood, each gender has their own respective troubles and/or advantages with each. I've gone into "why" on other threads where that specific topic is more relevant. There's also some less popular reasoning as to why this could be the case as well, which would take us WAY off topic.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut
So, you're saying only gorgeous women get approached, and the average ones are ignored?
Its amazing that you, and summerFall have "NEVER EVER" seen an average woman get approached. You guys are kidding, right? Oh c'mon now, Ruth, Lol.
I couldn't speak for this thread specifically, but if the other posts are of any reference, then yes, that's what they're saying. And I, like you, don't agree. I'm not sure if we agree for the same reason, though.
In your original post on this topic, you suggested that more average-looking get more attention "because not every woman is gorgeous". So if you're talking "bell curve"-type statistics, then yes, I absolutely agree: there are more average looking women than "gorgeous" women and thus, they receive more attention. But in some hypothetical world where hotness was spread out all linear-like....that wouldn't be the case. Put another way: Men don't give average looking women more attention BECAUSE they're average looking. They do it because a) there are more out there, b) they're more likely to be available, or c) they think the more attractive women are out of their league.
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Hmm.
