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Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
2,365 posts, read 2,149,646 times
Reputation: 3814
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Matadora
I think it's equally as selfish on her part to tell him no based on her unresolved issues.
Well, that's it then. He should divorce his wife for her own mental health, and buy and love his iron horse. Case closed. Move along. Nothing more to see here folks.
I guess where you have a problem is the fact that this guy has a partner that does not love the idea of a bike, and apparently your thought process cannot fathom such would be possible.
Bitter much? My views are healthy and work for anyone who is not being controlled or coerced into ditching their hopes and dreams.
I totally understand those stifling types of relationships...have observed my entire life people living in those types of relationships.
If the OP wants to be controlled and coerced into dropping his hopes and dreams then there was no need for him to post here. But apparently on some level he realizes that something is not right about being coerced into letting his dreams go.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ConeyGirl52
She is entitled to the type of relationship she wants.
This thread is not about her "type". It's about an man who has hopes of getting a motorcycle but a wife who has endured some traumatic event involving her brother on a motorcycle. She how those are completely different topics?
Quote:
Originally Posted by ConeyGirl52
Don't we have a place on these huge forums where people who are emotionally wound up about their iron pony can post incessantly about what great riders they are?
I suppose you will have to take this up with the person who is emotionally wound up about their iron pony and that incessantly post about what great riders they are.
There is a mental health forum that perhaps can help you with your hated and bitterness for people who have good healthy relationships and who are safe motorcyclists and are trying to help another poster with his relationship.
IMHO, I think the OP's wife has a legitimate reason to want hubby off a motorcycle. BUT, staying off one isn't going to make the OP happy. Having a spouse and family can cause a person to make choices (to do what they don't want to do, or put the idea on "the back burner"). Of course, I think there could be a compromise.
Let's say a dirt bike (or four-wheeler) is a fair compromise, for example. If there are kids, they could learn a lot and have fun riding one in the open spaces. If there are no kids, it could be fun for just the two adults.
My guy has a Harley. We are older. Our kids are grown. He had it when we met, but I never had an issue with it. I know this sounds silly, but he "needed" to ride it. He needed to "feel the wind in his 'stache". LOL I always worried when he went out for a ride, but if anything ever happened to him, I knew that he was doing what he loved the absolute most. (And I loved it, too, but wasn't able to go as much as I wanted.)
Never once did I say, "Not today," and now I'm glad that he had every opportunity to ride, because now he can't.
Let's say a dirt bike (or four-wheeler) is a fair compromise, for example. If there are kids, they could learn a lot and have fun riding one in the open spaces. If there are no kids, it could be fun for just the two adults.
My guy has a Harley. We are older. Our kids are grown. He had it when we met, but I never had an issue with it. I know this sounds silly, but he "needed" to ride it. He needed to "feel the wind in his 'stache". LOL I always worried when he went out for a ride, but if anything ever happened to him, I knew that he was doing what he loved the absolute most. (And I loved it, too, but wasn't able to go as much as I wanted.)
Good for you! Yes I think it's a life mistake for anyone to not pursue a life long dream. Nothing worse than waking up some day to realize that you missed out on living your dream due to willfully living a lie justified by whatever reasons that no longer apply the day you awaken. Some of us just have to ride.
Quote:
Originally Posted by metamorphosis
Never once did I say, "Not today," and now I'm glad that he had every opportunity to ride, because now he can't.
I agree. All of these folks who don't ride are the ones who love to post their fear factor stories.
I have so many wonderful stories to share that I can't relate to any of these fear monger stories. It does not compute at all. I have only known one rider that died. He was on the East Bay Bridge and he was speeding way over the speed limit on a Super Sport bike. He was an ex Super Sport racer and one of the coolest humans I have ever met. His speed was the factor. Most death accidents that occur on a motorcycle are due to the motorcyclists speed.
Most motorcycle crashes could be avoided by the rider. I know it's true because of my personal experience riding.
Also if I do have an unforeseeable event on my bike that results in my death...I could not think of a better way to go. Die while your in a good place mentally and doing something that brings you so much joy, is a much better way to go, than wasting away in a hospital death bed or hospice.
The OP should experience riding if that is one of his loves. He can also one day brag like I am about having 40 years of happy good riding stories.
There are worse things than dying in a motorcycle wreck. Like surviving one... sort of. Loss of a leg? Humbling but hardly a big deal when even the Dollar Tree has electric scooters so you don't have to crutch all around the store looking for more crap to fill the landfill when you get tired of it. I'm talking about the closed head injuries that leave you with the mental functioning of someone 3x over the legal limit except you can never sober up.
I was in the same situation as the o.p. except she wasn't my wife. I wanted her to be one day, but that day wasn't yet, so I blew off her concerns. I bought the bike and lost her. I dumped the bike at 55mph on the New York State Thruway one July day about two months later. A fine day for riding and I was really having fun until all of a sudden I wasn't. I slid and rolled so far from all that momentum that I literally had to be driven back to the crash site. No broken bones and no broken brain. I don't know anyone else who has been so lucky after parting ways with their sled at 55 mph.
Because of that I really can't recommend it to anyone. Maybe one day when body armor is intelligent and can deploy around a fallen rider like an air-bag. As for now, riding is a survival lottery and the odds are very much against those who ride.
There are worse things than dying in a motorcycle wreck. Like surviving one... sort of. Loss of a leg? Humbling but hardly a big deal when even the Dollar Tree has electric scooters so you don't have to crutch all around the store looking for more crap to fill the landfill when you get tired of it. I'm talking about the closed head injuries that leave you with the mental functioning of someone 3x over the legal limit except you can never sober up.
Don't know anyone who has missing limbs or is brain dead from a motorcycle crash. And I have been riding a long time.
Many Super Sport racers get up and walk away after crashing going 200 mph.
I think most motorcycle accidents involve men between the ages of 18-30. Who never took a safety course and ride like maniacs. Those are the stories we usually read about. Or it's an unskilled rider.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leisesturm
I was in the same situation as the o.p. except she wasn't my wife. I wanted her to be one day, but that day wasn't yet, so I blew off her concerns. I bought the bike and lost her. I dumped the bike at 55mph on the New York State Thruway one July day about two months later. A fine day for riding and I was really having fun until all of a sudden I wasn't. I slid and rolled so far from all that momentum that I literally had to be driven back to the crash site. No broken bones and no broken brain. I don't know anyone else who has been so lucky after parting ways with their sled at 55 mph.
I am very sorry to hear this, but I have to ask. Are you a careful and skilled rider? Did you take a motorcycle safety training course? Could you have prevented this accident? Was it something that you did wrong that caused it to happen? How many years of riding experience did you have when this happened?
You would be surprised at who gets up and just walks away after dropping their bike, with no injuries. It happens even on the race track at high speeds.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leisesturm
Because of that I really can't recommend it to anyone. Maybe one day when body armor is intelligent and can deploy around a fallen rider like an air-bag. As for now, riding is a survival lottery and the odds are very much against those who ride.
I totally disagree...there are too many factors to figure in. It depends on many variables. You can't just make a blanket statement based on your unfortunate experience.
Please take no offense but I offered this to the OP yesterday.
Lesson number one: Never take advice from a person who has little to no riding experience.
Lesson number two. Never listen to a person who has crashed and burned on a motorcycle because that person was most likely at fault or not a skilled rider
Although it's long in the tooth, (published in '81)
the Hurt Report remains the single greatest objective study of motorcycle accident causes. Harry Hurt, with $$$ from the NHTSA and USC, studied 900 accidents in the Los Angeles area, and 3,600 elsewhere. It's the kind of thing all motorcyclists should read and understand... like it was the Bible or the Koran.
re age: (copy and paste citation):
19. Motorcycle riders between the ages of 16 and 24 are significantly overrepresented in accidents; motorcycle riders between the ages of 30 and 50 are significantly underrepresented.
Also, self-taught riders (includes your family and friends), and under 3 years experience - Zeus has painted a target on your back.
and it bears repeating ad nauseam:
25. Almost half of the fatal accidents show alcohol involvement.
Although it's long in the tooth, (published in '81)
the Hurt Report remains the single greatest objective study of motorcycle accident causes. Harry Hurt, with $$$ from the NHTSA and USC, studied 900 accidents in the Los Angeles area, and 3,600 elsewhere. It's the kind of thing all motorcyclists should read and understand... like it was the Bible or the Koran.
re age: (copy and paste citation):
19. Motorcycle riders between the ages of 16 and 24 are significantly overrepresented in accidents; motorcycle riders between the ages of 30 and 50 are significantly underrepresented.
Also, self-taught riders (includes your family and friends), and under 3 years experience - Zeus has painted a target on your back.
and it bears repeating ad nauseam:
25. Almost half of the fatal accidents show alcohol involvement.
My gut feeling is that what the OP posted for is the bickering that ensued. He only has two posts, brief and almost info different to the whole issue.
Now we can move on to the thread about breasts implants and whether the hapless husband should go along with what she wants when he is so opposed.
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