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Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,758,476 times
Reputation: 41381
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
I just positively hate when someone you care about pulls away when they're facing a medical issue. I know there isn't any healthy choice but to give them space, and they're the one really suffering through it, but it claws at me.
I’ve been on both sides. One of my close friends did a bout with colon cancer a couple of years ago. He pushed most of us away because he didn’t want us to see him at his worst. I totally understood, he did the same thing my father did when he was dying from liver cirrhosis. Thankfully my friend recovered and we reconnected.
I had a near overdose situation a few years ago and I was very embarrassed about it I didn’t talk to anyone for months. You just don’t want people to see you at your lowest point, even more when it was a stupid choice you made that led you there.
Came to visit family I haven't seen in a few months, due to being so busy with work and school. Now I remember why I stopped coming around. The level of ignorance is UNREAL. I've never been so aggravated in my life. Every time we visit I get so irritated, my mother and I start arguing and bickering. Ugh....
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,758,476 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea
Came to visit family I haven't seen in a few months, due to being so busy with work and school. Now I remember why I stopped coming around. The level of ignorance is UNREAL. I've never been so aggravated in my life. Every time we visit I get so irritated, my mother and I start arguing and bickering. Ugh....
I appreciate you sharing this. I used to have pretty bad visits every time I went to visit my mother. Thankfully that has calmed down over the years and now I have no issue visiting her every couple of months. I haven’t visited my extended family on either side of my family in a good 13 years. My mom’s side still refers to me and mom as the “uppity n______$ who moved North” and my dad’s side is mad because I’m the only one who is willing to say that he sucked as a father. Some cases the best fam to have around you isn’t Blood at all.
Sorry you two are getting grief dealing with the family. Unfortunately, we can't pick our family. Using ugly terms like uppity n just means you're doing great. Resentment, jealousy, envy are universal and unfortunately common flaws that seem to run so prevalent in our species.
A bit late on this update, but a couple weeks ago I returned from a 10 day trip to VA to spend time with the girl who flew out to see me. Goal was mainly for us to learn more each others' lifestyle/habits, plus spend time doing stuff together, both in and outdoors. Unfortunately Florence coincided with my trip so we spent a bit more time indoors than we would have otherwise. On the plus side, flash flooding also gave us an extra day together (not at work), because school got cancelled (she teaches).
Overall it went really well, despite us having a couple of rough spots.
Not sure when we'll see each other again but my gut tells me this is very likely to get pretty serious in the near future.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,758,476 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by deepsix
A bit late on this update, but a couple weeks ago I returned from a 10 day trip to VA to spend time with the girl who flew out to see me. Goal was mainly for us to learn more each others' lifestyle/habits, plus spend time doing stuff together, both in and outdoors. Unfortunately Florence coincided with my trip so we spent a bit more time indoors than we would have otherwise. On the plus side, flash flooding also gave us an extra day together (not at work), because school got cancelled (she teaches).
Overall it went really well, despite us having a couple of rough spots.
Not sure when we'll see each other again but my gut tells me this is very likely to get pretty serious in the near future.
From someone whose been in VA his whole life, sorry that the wild weather here dealt you a bad hand. I’m hoping the best for you and this long distance thing. I will never do long distance again but my LDRs were two of the best experiences I had with women that were just compromised by living so far away. I need to re-ramp up my job search so I can get out of here and be around better matches in my dating life.
I appreciate you sharing this. I used to have pretty bad visits every time I went to visit my mother. Thankfully that has calmed down over the years and now I have no issue visiting her every couple of months. I haven’t visited my extended family on either side of my family in a good 13 years. My mom’s side still refers to me and mom as the “uppity n______$ who moved North” and my dad’s side is mad because I’m the only one who is willing to say that he sucked as a father. Some cases the best fam to have around you isn’t Blood at all.
I love my family so much but they can be so MESSY, always talking about each other's business. It's annoying as hell. My family thinks we are "boujee" and "proper" because of how we speak and carry ourselves. But my mom is the one who REALLY ticked me off. I won't go too far into detail, but she was saying some derogatory things about my hair. Claiming if I had "good hair" I wouldn't say there is no such thing as "good hair or bad hair." I looked at her like she was insane.
I had to remember it was my mother who was talking to me, which makes it a ton worse. It's amazing how our people don't realize how dysfunctional our thinking is.
I've complained and felt sorry for myself that my family doesn't visit me. Well, now my Mom is planning to visit at the end of the month. Only a short visit, thankfully. I adore my Mom, really, it's just...well...she's kinda reality impaired.
She's already done a thing that kind of makes me mad. See when I was younger, when I was pregnant with my first kid at age 20, she moved to live with me. It was ostensibly to help me. But one of the many things that made it a disaster, was I told her she could NOT bring her pets. She had 7 cats and a dog. We already had 2 cats, a wolf, a dog, and two snakes. Too many to begin with, did not need 8 more animals. I told her the landlord would not allow it.
She arrived with all of her pets in the truck. When I reminded her of what I'd said, she said, "Oh let me go talk to him." (landlord.) And she did. And she talked him into letting her animals stay. She brought fleas with her, too. Imagine that.
And she was on and on about how her animals had no fleas, which was a lie, and how well trained they are and clean and all, which was also lies.
Now she wants to come visit. She asked, and I said I was thrilled to see her, and very enthusiastic about the idea. And then she asked if she could bring her dog. And launched into a spiel about how well trained he is and how surely he will get along with my cat, since he gets along with her cats. Well, I don't want a dog in my house. I'm not really a dog person. Also, it's a breach of my lease, since it does say in the contract that visiting pets are not allowed. So I've booked her a room in a hotel where they allow pets, which fortunately is very common here in this very dog friendly town. It would have been for the best for her to be in a hotel anyhow; we don't have much guest room. But she argued with me about it, pleading that she could sleep on the couch, and her boyfriend could sleep on the floor, and the dog is litter box trained, and blahblahblah. "No Ma. Don't worry about it. I got this."
It may have been one of the very few things that was great about my marriage. My ex was openly hostile to my Mom. While it made me sad that she couldn't visit, it made me relieved that she wouldn't see me as a resource, someone to show up and expect to crash with, with a freakin' menagerie of pets in tow. Now I have no human shield for that, and I've got to keep my own boundaries for my own reasons. Eventually it will come to a head and she'll be very hurt and upset, because in her world, "blood" should mean you'll give any family member in need, everything you've got and then some. Which is why she drains people dry and never has anything of her own, generally.
*sigh*
Sorry. Just kvetching. Guess it's kind of first world problems, but it's annoying.
My son just texted me to say, "I'm having lady problems."
I understand that he means some issue or confusion with some girl he's trying to connect with. But the phrase he chose sounded like a woman complaining about menstrual symptoms or needing a hygiene product she sadly did not have on hand at the moment.
Lady problems.
What?
LOL
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