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Old 10-14-2019, 10:44 PM
 
10,341 posts, read 5,871,783 times
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Can I just have this life instead? I’d be the one dancing. They don’t show her.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HOKf7z...Gcl9ulgOI1hTdQ
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Old 10-15-2019, 08:28 AM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
20,398 posts, read 14,683,356 times
Reputation: 39508
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea View Post
I think I'm going through that "mid 20s crisis" where you finally realize, "Holy crap, I'm getting older." I don't know WHERE it came from, but I just developed tremendous anxiety about the changes we all inevitably are going to go through. Aging didn't really scare me until now, it's so weird. Maybe I'm freaking out because I want to be able to finish grad school by a certain age. I guess when you're in your late teens, early 20s you feel invincible. But from that point on you suddenly realize......oh man time is still going lol. I know all of you are just going to roll your eyes (I did too), but it seems like time is just flying by, and there isn't enough to do everything I want to do.

Lol what the heck? Anyway, I'm done rambling. Pretty sure this anxiety will blow over soon. I hope so anyway.
I think that life as an adult just messes with our heads that way sometimes.

But my 20s sucked. Of course it was mostly the life I was living, very different from yours. But in my 30s, I began to know myself better, and respect myself more. I no longer accepted that I had to put myself dead last and take care of everybody else. I think I realized that if I didn't live my life for me, no one else was going to. They wouldn't step up and take care of me like I was doing for them. The people in my life would happily take and take and give nothing back if I let it happen, and if I kept waiting for them to repay me for what I gave them, I'd wait forever. I had to put energy into myself. Then eventually at 36, I decided to trim out most of the advantage-takers (except my sons, kids are a different thing)...and find people who were healthy for me, and who were more willing to reciprocate love and effort in ways that made me feel really loved.

But a lot of that, as I said, was just...me. Though there have been moments all along of that existential "whoa, where have the years gone, and where are they going?" feeling. Part of being a long-lived, intelligent species, I figure.
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Old 10-15-2019, 08:57 AM
 
Location: So Cal
52,305 posts, read 52,734,263 times
Reputation: 52798
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea View Post
I think I'm going through that "mid 20s crisis" where you finally realize, "Holy crap, I'm getting older." I don't know WHERE it came from, but I just developed tremendous anxiety about the changes we all inevitably are going to go through. Aging didn't really scare me until now, it's so weird. Maybe I'm freaking out because I want to be able to finish grad school by a certain age. I guess when you're in your late teens, early 20s you feel invincible. But from that point on you suddenly realize......oh man time is still going lol. I know all of you are just going to roll your eyes (I did too), but it seems like time is just flying by, and there isn't enough to do everything I want to do.

Lol what the heck? Anyway, I'm done rambling. Pretty sure this anxiety will blow over soon. I hope so anyway.
Yeah, I think on the occasion it's sorta normal to go through this stuff, situational type of stuff but not chronic. I think for me that hitting 30 was probably a biggie, more so than 40 was, I just hit 50 a month or two ago and that one was more on par with the 30 yr. At 30 that's it, I mean you should have your crap together, you ain't a kid anymore, granted that's still pretty young but you are well out of your frat boy years and should be done with milk crate furniture. I was lucky in that I was actually hitting all of the metrics that seem to matter to most people, but I don't know. Still had a weirded out feeling a bit.

Saw a comedy special recently and the guy was talking to the audience and asking how many people were in their 50s and a good amount cheered. He then says, well enjoy it, as you only have about 20 or so summers left.

That sorta put into perspective, you think about how fast summers come and go and I was like damn, what a way to shape it. I've been on the fence about getting a new car, I got one two years ago and it's still in good shape and whatever, I don't need a new car, but Mr. only 20 summers left guy sorta shook me up a little and the fact that I just hit 50, I don't know. Sort of makes it maybe ok to go get that newer Chrysler 300 with the 20s that I've been eye balling for a while now.
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Old 10-15-2019, 11:12 AM
 
Location: Moreno Valley, Ca
4,043 posts, read 2,713,819 times
Reputation: 8479
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea View Post
I think I'm going through that "mid 20s crisis" where you finally realize, "Holy crap, I'm getting older." I don't know WHERE it came from, but I just developed tremendous anxiety about the changes we all inevitably are going to go through. Aging didn't really scare me until now, it's so weird. Maybe I'm freaking out because I want to be able to finish grad school by a certain age. I guess when you're in your late teens, early 20s you feel invincible. But from that point on you suddenly realize......oh man time is still going lol. I know all of you are just going to roll your eyes (I did too), but it seems like time is just flying by, and there isn't enough to do everything I want to do.

Lol what the heck? Anyway, I'm done rambling. Pretty sure this anxiety will blow over soon. I hope so anyway.
This is normal (whatever THAT means!) and you are going to be GREAT. You are very insightful and thoughtful.

As you already know, you can have a life plan and then stuff happens and the plan gets blown to bits! Don't be too hard on yourself. You got this!

I am 51 and there are days that I feel that I am a mess and that things are insane, especially given the last 18 months of my life. But then I shake it off and keep it moving.
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Old 10-15-2019, 11:29 AM
 
Location: So Cal
52,305 posts, read 52,734,263 times
Reputation: 52798
Quote:
Originally Posted by mlj1225 View Post
This is normal (whatever THAT means!) and you are going to be GREAT. You are very insightful and thoughtful.

As you already know, you can have a life plan and then stuff happens and the plan gets blown to bits! Don't be too hard on yourself. You got this!

I am 51 and there are days that I feel that I am a mess and that things are insane, especially given the last 18 months of my life. But then I shake it off and keep it moving.
"Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans"

I think one of the differences as you get older is that you are more often able to "see" in some ways that whatever you are upset about or stressed by that that situation will eventually change. Things never really stay the same, things in life are cylindrical in nature. People are up, people are down. The knowing that things won't always be a certain way is something that took me a while in life to discover or see. I'd get upset by thing and didn't want certain situations and it felt bigger and more permanent than it really was. If that makes any sense. Now I'm older I can see things more at a higher level and sometimes that can provide a little more clarity.
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Old 10-15-2019, 11:34 AM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
20,398 posts, read 14,683,356 times
Reputation: 39508
LOL I'm feeling pretty old this week so far, tell ya what.

I took my son, the one who just turned 18, to a GWAR concert on Sunday night up in Denver. Just over an hour's drive from our home. We were up front for a while, had a good time, hung out a little with some of the guys in the band afterwards, and finally got home around 1:30 AM. This band slaughters rubber costume effigies of celebrities, politicians, and made up characters onstage (for anyone who doesn't know) and sprays fake blood that is made of powdered food coloring in water. Well I think they doubled up the powder with red and blue (extra concentrated.) I've never had it be so intense before. It was like getting hosed with black ink, though it dried to a purple. So when we got home, we had to bathe, and I had to scrub what felt like half my skin off to get clear of it for work Monday morning. I got five hours sleep, which isn't bad after something like that, but I was a zombie yesterday and I'm still pretty tired. Ugh.

Every year I think, "Maybe I'm getting too old for these shows. Maybe just...maybe just one more, and maybe this will be the last one. Am I even sure I want to go?" But I do have fun, and I'm always glad I went, even though it exhausts me.

My 37th time seeing these guys...*sigh*...another one on the books...*yawn*...
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Old 10-15-2019, 11:54 AM
 
10,341 posts, read 5,871,783 times
Reputation: 17886
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea View Post
....Lol what the heck? Anyway, I'm done rambling. Pretty sure this anxiety will blow over soon. I hope so anyway.
Suggestion: Use that anxiety energy on your art. It has a very 'centering' effect on me, I can't let other pesky thoughts in, when I'm hypnotized in that way.
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Old 10-15-2019, 12:28 PM
 
Location: Moreno Valley, Ca
4,043 posts, read 2,713,819 times
Reputation: 8479
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
"Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans"

I think one of the differences as you get older is that you are more often able to "see" in some ways that whatever you are upset about or stressed by that that situation will eventually change. Things never really stay the same, things in life are cylindrical in nature. People are up, people are down. The knowing that things won't always be a certain way is something that took me a while in life to discover or see. I'd get upset by thing and didn't want certain situations and it felt bigger and more permanent than it really was. If that makes any sense. Now I'm older I can see things more at a higher level and sometimes that can provide a little more clarity.
Makes perfect sense!

I look around and see what co-workers, younger friends, my niece, etc. get upset about and I am able to tell them to try and look at the bigger picture. The old "In a year, 5 years, 10 years.... will this even matter?" question.
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Old 10-16-2019, 12:30 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
8,923 posts, read 7,727,352 times
Reputation: 16662
I'm doing better today. I think it was hormones or something lol. But yeah it's silly and probably something that will nag at me for the rest of my life. The only control I have is to maintain a healthy diet, exercise, SUNSCREEN, and control my stress levels. I will definitely channel this energy into my art Rbccl. I need more ideas anyway lol
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Old 10-16-2019, 01:42 PM
 
Location: So Cal
52,305 posts, read 52,734,263 times
Reputation: 52798
Jeez. What a dumbass.

I get sloppy here on CD when I type, I sometimes miss words or spelling, whatever. I'm more laid back here because I have to spend so much time at work reviewing things that I don't have the mental energy.

Well. I just sent an email with about 20 people in the CC list and I found two typing errors and clearly one autocorrect that I didn't catch before hitting send. LOL

I wanted "exacerbate" and autocorrect changed it to "execrating" I must have goofed up the spelling pretty badly for that correction. I usually double check things, I did, but I still missed it. I wanted "made worse" not "loathing for"

It's just if you're in a consulting role, ya can't come off like a dumbass.
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