Why are military men ,more marriagable than civilians? (movies, woman, husband)

[EffortPoaster]

You should probably take a look at divorce rates and suicide rates of military couples compared to the general population before you continue OP.

[Gabriella Geramia]

If anything I would think the opposite. I consider military men, doctors, lawyers, police officers, and firefighters unmarriageable. They're very ****able because they're hot, but any profession where the man has to be married to his job or has higher risks to his well being is a no go for a long-term for me.

[TabulaRasa]

Originally Posted by usayit

Is there are difference between marrying an enlisted versus an officer? If there is, I would surmise that it is pertinent to the discussion.

Depends.

In some cases, it can be like the difference between being married to a manager or boss versus an entry level worker with no or limited supervisory duties or leadership roles. But not always, since there are noncommissioned officers (my spouse is one), i.e. enlisted personnel who act in leadership, training, and managerial roles and oversee others (though this may be more the case in the Navy than other branches, since the pay grades that encompass the Chief Petty Officer's Mess are kind of their own animal, and are a bit different in history and culture than the same pay grades in other branches, but in the Navy, Chiefs are essentially managers, as are commissioned officers). There are NCO positions that officers defer to.


There are many more enlisted personnel than officers, too, and officers obviously are required to have completed a degree to qualify. Enlisted are not required to have a four-year degree, and many don't (some do...spouse enlisted with a bachelor's degree and five years of teaching experience). But dating somebody on the enlisted side may mean dating somebody without a college education, whereas dating an officer won't. And base pay for officers is obviously higher than enlisted.

I've always heard that infidelity and divorce is higher among the enlisted... I don't know if it is true or not. However, it makes sense to me given that many of these fine men and women spend long periods of time away from family and often take the brunt of a lot of stress.

I don't know stats, but it wouldn't surprise me, due to younger marriage age common to lower enlisted. My husband and I married at ages 37 and 41, which as a first marriage, made us an extreme anomaly in military culture. We have a nine-month old, my spouse's Navy peers with similar time in are often grandparents.

Lower enlisted pay can also present budgeting challenges for families, especially for young married people who in many cases have limited education and professional experience and exposure to budgeting prior to enlisting, and obviously, money is a hide contributor in marital woes. Combine that with large numbers of single income households (military spouses face real obstacles to career growth and development in many cases due to perceptions of the transient mature of their spouse's work), and various separations due to needs of the military. Officers face some of the same cultural issues, but many of these issues are more prevalent in enlisted.

[TabulaRasa]

Originally Posted by GKelly

If anything I would think the opposite. I consider military men, doctors, lawyers, police officers, and firefighters unmarriageable. They're very ****able because they're hot, but any profession where the man has to be married to his job or has higher risks to his well being is a no go for a long-term for me.

You're kidding, right? You do know that physical attractiveness has no bearing on one's ability to enlist or commission, right?

You also understand that there are jobs in the military (many, many jobs), where you are less at risk of physical harm than any number of civilian job positions, I hope. I ask, because you've indicated on here that joining the military is an interest, but you seem to lack a realistic understanding of it, based on comments like the above.

[aliwalas]

Originally Posted by klmrocks

I don't know I see it very differently. I personally would not want to be in a relationship with anyone who was in the military or a policer officer. I think both this lines of work make people more agreesive, bossy, controlling, too structured and robotic. I think if these are traits you value in someone that would make them more attractive to you. If someone only had beer in their fridge ... for me I would see that as an opportunity to put more stuff I like to have in the fridge or an indication that we are likely going to have a lot of dinner dates out . I would take that over going to someone's house and they have everything lined up and labelled or a fridge full of protein supplements.

I think one of the greatest misconception (as I thought so too), is that all military people do is go to war, shoot guns and what not. My husband makes logos, takes pictures and writes articles. My BIL sets-up the audio system. My other BIL, he sits behind a computer, doing computer stuff. They're just like regular workers, who happens to be owned by the government. They go to work, they do their thing, then they go home. Yes, sometimes they deploy far away. When my husband was deployed, he just did more logos, more pictures and more write-ups lol.

[klmrocks]

Originally Posted by TabulaRasa

Also a massive stereotype, no less so than the ones feeding the OP's original conceit.

Maybe. I am Canadian and live in a major city. Anyone techinically trained in combat to kill if needed and to use weapons makes me uneasy. Don't you have to be super disciplined to do all that trianing? If you are more easy going and bohemian in your life style waking up at the crack of dawn, following uniform codes and drills does not really seem like a great fit .

[TabulaRasa]

Originally Posted by aliwalas

I think one of the greatest misconception (as I thought so too), is that all military people do is go to war, shoot guns and what not. My husband makes logos, takes pictures and writes articles. My BIL sets-up the audio system. My other BIL, he sits behind a computer, doing computer stuff. They're just like regular workers, who happens to be owned by the government. They go to work, they do their thing, then they go home. Yes, sometimes they deploy far away. When my husband was deployed, he just did more logos, more pictures and more write-ups lol.

Yep. Even in Iraq,my husband sat in a comms box monitoring and managing satellite communications.

He is the first to point out that he's been at a higher risk of death since coming home and joining a military funeral honor guard. He's clocked thousands of miles on the road traveling to military funerals to perform graveside honors in a bistate area, putting him at a much higher risk of death due to auto accident.

There's this "G.I. Joe" perspective of service members that's pretty inaccurate in the vast majority of cases. Civilians with little military exposure seem to think that everyone in the military is Delta Force or a Navy SEAL. In reality, people are supply chain managers, medics, postal clerks, food service employees, plumbers, electricians, auto mechanics, programmers, interpreter/linguists, administrative assistants, trainers, chaplains, career counselors, jounalists/media specialists, dog handlers, heavy equipment operators, IT specialists, musicians, etc. in addition to combat-centric roles. The number of support roles that play into a functioning military is staggering.

[1xolisiwe]

Originally Posted by hallstarr

From a woman's point of view, dating civilians has been a disaster. It seems like military men have more focus and a better sense of self, more adjusted a.nd focused. On the other hand civilians are all over the place with nothing to offer but a beer at their house. They have no motivation, past a gas station, and are selfish. It's like they gave up on life. They won't even get up to exercise.

Maybe you need to reexamine the type of civilians you're choosing to spend time with? I know a lot of people with personality disorders who are in the army. Talk about abuse central.

People are people. You will get all sorts across the board.

[TabulaRasa]

Originally Posted by klmrocks

Maybe. I am Canadian and live in a major city. Anyone techinically trained in combat to kill if needed and to use weapons makes me uneasy. Don't you have to be super disciplined to do all that trianing? If you are more easy going and bohemian in your life style waking up at the crack of dawn, following uniform codes and drills does not really seem like a great fit .

I don't know. My husband taught middle school science and language arts prior to enlisting and is about the most laid back goofball I've ever met. He had marksmanship training during boot camp (rated expert), same as anybody, but the only time he's been required to carry a weapon on his person was during his Iraq deployment, where he never had any reason to discharge it.

Most of his training initially centered around his job assigned upon enlistment, which is communications technology (typically setting up and maintaining satellite telecom systems in support of troops across branches). While his job has a lot to do with preventing people from getting killed, no, not so much trained to kill people in combat (anymore so than anybody who has received firearm training is "trained to kill people."). Now, years later, as a senior chief petty officer, his work centers around training, mentoring, leading, and managing lower enlisted. He's trained new recruits and is a sexual assault prevention and response trainer as well. So, yeah, not so "killing people"-centric.


As far as discipline, he does his job and stays fit to meet the physical readiness standard requirements. Most working people get up in the morning with some degree of discipline (he isn't required to get up at the crack of dawn, but sometimes does so he can get in some quiet reading time with coffee before the baby wakes). Most working people also regularly wear uniforms or job-appropriate attire. He doesn't do any drills to speak of at this point in his career, but did when he was training as a new sailor.

Not sure what being Canadian or living in a major city has to do with it. We are American and live in a major city, FWIW.

[cpg35223]

They follow orders.