Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My thing, out of sight and out of mind. I needed to remove any temptation to contact her. It is the same situation that caused me to move away from the temptation of all the violence and crime in my hometown in SE Virginia. Sometimes the only way to deal with temptation to do negative crap is getting the hell away. Plus, I don't play that friendzone anyway.
Oh I see now. Yes the temptation would be hard to resist. Thanks for explaining.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AprilFlowers17
You don't understand his need to unfriend and block the LOSER that led him on? I don't understand how you can't even partially identify with his need to do that...seriously?!
So tell me, what would YOU do if the same thing that happened to the OP was done to YOU?!
I have had it done to me. The guy wasn't stalking me or bothering me in any way so I didn't feel the need to block or unfriend him. I just think it seems vindictive and I'm not a vindictive person. But now that Diss has explained why he did it (to resist the temptation to keep contacting her) I understand and accept his need to do it.
Location: In the cold, dark wasteland of eternity...
926 posts, read 674,019 times
Reputation: 1525
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter
I don't know if I would say she led me on. I think it is more she didn't have enough courage to be 100% with me if she wasn't feeling me the same way I felt her. There was no doubt to what my intention was because I was honest throughout.
Then she should've had enough COURAGE and RESPECT and DECENCY to have been 100% HONEST with you. If YOU don't feel that she led you on, then whatevs, that's on YOU for your discretion. But, in my opinion, there's NEVER *any* viable excuse to lead someone to believe something that you're perpetuating that is not - in fact - the God's honest truth.
I'd rather stay SINGLE forever than to deal with dishonest, self-serving and deceptive people who only care about what THEY can eek out of a dating situation or (God forbid) a relationship instead of being DECENT and CARING enough of a HUMAN BEING to be HONEST with the person who is into them.
Then she should've had enough COURAGE and RESPECT and DECENCY to have been 100% HONEST with you. If YOU don't feel that she led you on, then whatevs, that's on YOU for your discretion. But, in my opinion, there's NEVER *any* viable excuse to lead someone to believe something that you're perpetuating that is not - in fact - the God's honest truth.
I'd rather stay SINGLE forever than to deal with dishonest, self-serving and deceptive people who only care about what THEY can eek out of a dating situation or (God forbid) a relationship instead of being DECENT and CARING enough of a HUMAN BEING to be HONEST with the person who is into them.
The reality is people don't have to. We're constantly told that we don't and shouldn't have to explain our feelings. Well, when that is the mantra that's told to everyone, guess what happens? You get wishy washy feelings, you get wishy washy actions, you get ghosting. It's not that all people have forgotten to be decent human beings, but I do think the treat people the way you would want to be treated mindset has taken a backseat. But, it's only taken a backseat because society has stated we no longer need to be apologetic about how we feel. In a sense, accountability is what has changed the most.
Sorry it didn't work out, Diss. But good on you for being straight with yourself about what you need, and acting accordingly. You're being genuine and self aware, and I applaud you for it. I hope that mojo brings you better companionship in the future.
Sorry it didn't work out, Diss. But good on you for being straight with yourself about what you need, and acting accordingly. You're being genuine and self aware, and I applaud you for it. I hope that mojo brings you better companionship in the future.
Yep, ditto on this. It sucks when things don't work out the way you want them to, but onward and upward.
Location: In the cold, dark wasteland of eternity...
926 posts, read 674,019 times
Reputation: 1525
Quote:
Originally Posted by EverEden
^^^^^^ Wow... I guess I was right. You must have had a horrible experience to be so hostile.
Yeah, I actually did have a horrible experience with being led on and them not being 100% honest with me about why they decided to do differently than what they said (and led me to believe) they were going to do. Since I've never done that (nor would I ever do that) to someone, I expect to be treated with the same respect and courtesy that I would show to any guy I'm with.
@weezerfan84: I think you hit the nail on the head with your post - and I think it explains why a lot of people these days are so dishonest, disrespectful and cowardly with others when it comes to their feelings. I mean, it's really very truly simple to just BE HONEST with someone about how you really feel about them - it takes a lot more effort (and cowardice) to LIE to someone and lead them on than it does to just say, "Hey, sorry I didn't meet up with you last weekend, but I'm not feeling a romantic connection with you so I'm going to bow out. Good luck & take care." Would that be hurtful to hear (or read) from someone you were into? Sure it would. But at least the person would know the TRUTH about why someone wasn't interested in them.
"The reality is people don't have to. We're constantly told that we don't and shouldn't have to explain our feelings. Well, when that is the mantra that's told to everyone, guess what happens? You get wishy washy feelings, you get wishy washy actions, you get ghosting."
Yeah, I actually did have a horrible experience with being led on and them not being 100% honest with me about why they decided to do differently than what they said (and led me to believe) they were going to do. Since I've never done that (nor would I ever do that) to someone, I expect to be treated with the same respect and courtesy that I would show to any guy I'm with.
@weezerfan84: I think you hit the nail on the head with your post - and I think it explains why a lot of people these days are so dishonest, disrespectful and cowardly with others when it comes to their feelings. I mean, it's really very truly simple to just BE HONEST with someone about how you really feel about them - it takes a lot more effort (and cowardice) to LIE to someone and lead them on than it does to just say, "Hey, sorry I didn't meet up with you last weekend, but I'm not feeling a romantic connection with you so I'm going to bow out. Good luck & take care." Would that be hurtful to hear (or read) from someone you were into? Sure it would. But at least the person would know the TRUTH about why someone wasn't interested in them.
"The reality is people don't have to. We're constantly told that we don't and shouldn't have to explain our feelings. Well, when that is the mantra that's told to everyone, guess what happens? You get wishy washy feelings, you get wishy washy actions, you get ghosting."
And the reality is that I don't want to be right. I actually want to be wrong. People are just wishy washy with their feelings, primarily because there's a plethora of people available on any dating site. It doesn't mean that you want to date them, but the option is out there. The options are what I think men and women are drawn too, not that there's any longevity to those options. The current dating climate and market really allows users to be awfully nit picky about frivolous things that don't matter in the grand scheme of things.
I agree with you. I don't even think she is a bad person. There was a lot I liked about her but the lack of courage to be honest with me was the final straw and I really hope she can learn to be better about being honest in romantic endeavors. But for my sanity I needed to remove her presence from my life to hopefully find a partner who is into me and means it.
She sounds a lot like someone I know. She is a good person, but she can't seem to be honest (with me). She's hidden a lot of things from me. The only thing is when I start getting distant, she chases me down... too late.
I mean I understand that there are a ton of people that are unstable and can't handle the truth and are bound to react in aggressive, violent and even deadly ways, but i have shown over and over I am not that type of person.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
anyway.
I don't understand how you can't even partially identify with his need to do that...seriously?! 
Since I've never done that (nor would I ever do that) to someone, I expect to be treated with the same respect and courtesy that I would show to any guy I'm with.
