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We are still planning to move forward with the adoption process but we both agreed to attend couples counseling as well.
I sincerely hope that you're also getting individual counseling for your trust and anger issues and lack of impulse control.
Also, I have to question why you think it is a good idea to bring a child into your life when you're in a relationship with a partner that you feel you cannot trust. And then you react in a destructive manner, and it escalates to physical violence. How is this a good environment for a child?
Frankly, I don't think you're cut out to be a good parent at this stage in your life. A good parent puts the best of interest of their child first. Instead, you are being selfish - you want a child, so you're willing to bring him/her into this dysfunctional life. A life that many children who are up for adoption are trying to escape.
I sincerely hope that you're also getting individual counseling for your trust and anger issues and lack of impulse control.
Also, I have to question why you think it is a good idea to bring a child into your life when you're in a relationship with a partner that you feel you cannot trust. And then you react in a destructive manner, and it escalates to physical violence. How is this a good environment for a child?
Frankly, I don't think you're cut out to be a good parent at this stage in your life. A good parent puts the best of interest of their child first. Instead, you are being selfish - you want a child, so you're willing to bring him/her into this dysfunctional life. A life that many children who are up for adoption are trying to escape.
I'm not being selfish at all. I feel like I can really help a child in need. That's why we decided to go with adoption over in vitro. We've hit a bump in the road but I think it's just a one off thing that can be fixed through therapy. I'm 24 and I really don't want to wait much longer to start my family.
No, because your relationship is a hot mess, and you won't be able to hide that from the agency.
Our relationship is not a hot mess. No couple is perfect, and yeah this is serious but we've been together for 5 years, and nothing like this happened before.
Our relationship is not a hot mess. No couple is perfect, and yeah this is serious but we've been together for 5 years, and nothing like this happened before.
Our relationship is not a hot mess. No couple is perfect, and yeah this is serious but we've been together for 5 years, and nothing like this happened before.
True, all couples have problems. But apparently you don't trust you girlfriend not to sleep around on you -given your policing of her. Then you act as though she's victimized you because you lost exchange you started. And you apparently can't control your anger, and result to damaging property in rage when you're upset. Going on your comments, you feel your girlfriend is a casual cheater, whom you have to monitor to keep her from doing it. Now you think she's violent and has anger problems that will result in abusing you -given your pointing out how she needs to learn self-control when you also have none, and started all the drama. You're very one-sided. It's always more on your girlfriend, while you're the victim -of her abuse & cheating.
If you do wanna adopt, fine. But I suggest you not do it any time soon. And by that, I mean until you're at least 30. Given your trust issues, and tantrums, you're not a mature adult yet. And you're being selfish by bringing a kid into this just because YOU don't wanna wait (until you're stable) to start a family. You claim you're not selfish because you wanna help a child. But it's still selfish. because if you cared about helping, you'd wanna wait until you're more mature, in a relationship with a partner you trust. That way, you would be better prepared to be a proper guide for a child. But no. YOU don't wanna wait longer, because getting a kid sooner is what YOU care about. So you're gonna bring them into this mess.
If you're dysfunctional yourself, then you aren't suited trying to care for someone else -especially a young child whom you're possibly gonna be passing your behavior to. And given your mistrust & rages, what happens if you get angry with you kid? Kids do sneaky stuff too. Are you gonna scream, and break your kid's stuff when you think they aren't telling the truth?
Last edited by HappyRain; 10-23-2017 at 09:07 AM..
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